Pole Confessions
I have a confession to make… the reason I haven’t posted here for months (YIKES!) is because I finally gave up on trying to resolve the conflict I felt (and still feel to be totally honest) about the direction the pole dancing industry has taken. I regularly feel alone, as if I’m the only pole dancer in the world that actually wants to watch and experience the true sensual nature of this glorious movement. And I have to confess that I gave up.
I quit.
I simply couldn’t take feeling like I was slowly being left behind by the art form that had changed my life so much.
And by quit, I mean quit. I canceled all my pole dancing and booty popping workshops and let go of all my private students except a few die hards. I even tried to give up pole dancing completely. I took down my pole at home and sold two of my extra poles. I became a gym rat and an extreme yogini. I even considered going into yoga teacher training. But, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to shake the need for sensual dance. I started developing new sensual pelvic, hip, and arm movements (much to the chagrin and possible pleasure of other gym goers). I started playing with the more tantric aspects of yoga (at home, because these can get pretty naughty 
. I started looking with longing at the space where my pole used to be.
I realized I had to come back to sensual dance.
I had to come back to pole dance. I had to accept the fact that even if I was the only woman in the world who felt the joy of sensual movement, I still needed it in my life. So I put my damn pole back up and danced, soared, twirled, and flipped until I remembered why I came to pole dancing in the first place….
I wanted to feel sexy, I wanted to feel like a woman, and now I do again.
Intellectually, I know I’m not alone.
I still have some wonderful pole buddies, as well as my phenomenal pole students. (some of whom, I am supremely proud to say, have gone on to be phenomenal pole instructors! woohoo!)
But when I look around at all the pole studios this art has helped create, I see so many of them ignoring the sensual dance aspects, deliberately! Meaning, they actively look for ways to eliminate the sexual aspect of pole dancing. They “cleanse” the sensuality from their own movements just so they can appeal to a larger part of the population.
And yes, I get it. Pole Studios have to make money to survive. The more students you can get in the doors, the more likely you are to keep those doors open for business. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give those students the OPTION to experience their own sensuality through dance. Just because most people like vanilla ice cream doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be given other choices like chocolate, or tin roof sundae, or even rainbow sherbet.
I know that some of the senior instructors at many studios were once strippers themselves, or trained by strippers, or friends with strippers. They know how much fun it is to dance playfully, charged with the sexual power of their own bodies. Once you’ve experienced that, how can you ignore it? How can you marginalize it? How can you pretend that it doesn’t exist? It’s like discovering how awesome an orgasm feels and then someone tells you sex is dirty, so you don’t ever have sex again. Seriously, that’s fucked up!
Is the truth so difficult to bear?
I am not saying that pole fitness is wrong and sensual pole dancing is right. That’s like saying gymnastics is wrong and Cirque Du Soleil is right. They are all legitimate, all beautiful, and all amazing.
I am saying that pushing your sensuality aside, ignoring the sexual aspects of pole dancing, or pretending that the whole pole industry didn’t start because a bunch of woman asked a bunch of strippers, “How the hell do you do that sexy upside-down shit on the pole?” is stupid. And it really hurts my feelings.
So here’s what I want, no let me rephrase that, here’s what I’m doing….
I’m going to keep trying to talk about this. I’m going to keep trying to post my feelings about this. I’m going to keep bringing up sensuality, sexuality, body acceptance, celebrating your cookie, and being the honest sexy woman that you already are. (I’m even going to throw in the obvious phallic nature of a metal pole just for kicks).
But, I’m asking for something in return.
I’m asking for your help. Because I need to know if anybody else in the world gives a shit about feeling sexy. Do you want to feel sexy? Do you want to experience the world sensually, in a way that makes all your senses tingle with excitement and anticipation? Do you want to be able to accept yourself and your life exactly as it is and learn to change it by playing with it? Or do you want something else entirely?
What you want from pole dancing is really what you want from life, and I’m dying to find out if what I have to say can help you…
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So if you’ve got a minute, can you leave a little comment and tell me what you want from pole dancing, or pole fitness, or life as a woman in general… because we all need to know that we’re not alone. |
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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!
