Please Lay on My Balls
Last weekend I was invited to a Pole Room Consecration, meaning there’s a new studio in town and I got to be one of the first to play on their fabulous new poles! Needless to say I was excited, especially since 5 of those beautiful, shiny phallic symbols spin and go 12 feet up. (AWESOME!) However, after dancing my ass off into the wee hours of the night and then throwing my exhausted body into bed, I woke up with a little ache in my neck and back.
Don’t Whip It Good!
Now, you all know I’m a huge safety nut (what exactly does a safety nut look like?) But I still love to let loose and play… unfortunately when I get REALLY excited, I sometimes whip my head a little too fast. In my imagination, this move makes my hair look “fabulous” for about 2 seconds, when in reality it’s more of an accidental headbanger moment. It’s a little habit I picked up before I understood some of the finer points of injury prevention, and something I don’t encourage in any of my students. Some studio’s call this an “accent,” I call it a guaranteed headache in my future!
So, needless to say I woke with a lovely post coitus polgasm, but a sad case of headbangers regret, which did not improve as the day went along.
Now, I am a woman of many tricks (which you’d know if you tweeted me once in a while, *Hint* Hint*) and I’m certainly not above using my feminine wiles to get a lovely massage from my boyfriend. But, he was off at work and my throbbing neck was not willing to wait. So instead, I put on my massage therapists hat (well, it’s more like a box filled with pressure point balls, massage books and aromatherapy candles) and decided to fix things myself.
First I took a quick look at the Acupressure Potent Points book for neck and shoulder pain (this is one of my favorite books for knowing where to massage according to the meridian and energy systems of the body). Then, I took a nice hot shower to get my body warmed up and ready for massage. Warming up the area you want to massage is really important. It’s one of the first things a massage therapist does to help you relax so your body can release it’s tension.
Next, I pulled out a box of tennis and racket balls. No, I wasn’t running off to the gym. I use the different sized balls to roll around on the achey areas of my body.
Get Tingley
Basically, it works like this; you lay down so that the racket ball is positioned on one of the sore spots in your shoulder or back. Then, with your legs bent, you can roll around so that the ball pushes into the knots. If you find a super sore spot, you simply lay quietly and relax as the tension is slowly released by the pressure of gravity. The smaller the ball, the deeper the pressure.
I love deep pressure, so for my shoulder pain, I used my favorite Foot Rubz, which are small balls with plastic nubbins that stick out. And I literally rolled around on the floor for 45 minutes. It was like heaven on earth as I felt my neck pain slowly dissolve.
Your Pain Prescription
Seriously, if you’ve ever woken up with pain from overly enthusiastic pole dancing, or any other sensual night time experience (*wink*), you might want to consider trying this remedy too. It’s only got three steps:
- Take a shower to get the body warm (& throw on a comfy long sleeve shirt & pants so the balls can slide easier)
- Lay down with a ball right under the achey parts of your body
- Roll around until you feel the tension in your body start to release
I’ve even used the balls to roll along the energetic meridian points that release all sorts of interesting ailments, like headache, nausea, and stomach cramps.
However, I still managed to coerce my sweetie to give me a lovely shoulder massage after he got home. A girl’s gotta keep her feminine wiles in shape, which means practice, practice, oh sweet practice.
| How do you take care of yourself after headbangers regret? Or perhaps post coitus polegasm? I’d love to hear about it in the comments. |
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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!





