Express The Sensual

I was lamenting on the state of the pole dancing industry when someone asked me why I focus so strongly on being a pole DANCER instead of a pole TRICKSTER (someone who focuses on athletic pole tricks without transitions).

Although I recognize how wonderful pole fitness can be when a woman develops her gymnastic ability and strength, I am not in that camp.  I do not and will not ever just teach a pole trick.  I believe it is the transitions between the tricks that connect a woman with her sensual nature, not just the trick itself. If I cannot evoke an emotional response throughout my dance, then I’m not interested in dancing; and serial pole tricks do not evoke emotion in me.

Whenever I see a pole Trickster, I find my mind wandering.  Yes, the flawless execution is impressive.  Yes, the difficulty is obvious.  But it’s still the same tricks, over and over and over again.  Instead of noticing the way she accentuates the curve of her hip or the luscious shadow of the hair falling down her back, I consider her gymnastic execution; her fitness & stretching routine, her training regimen.  Of course she is beautiful, impressive even, but I want to see the movement of life breathing through her, the spark of humanity, the hypnotic fire of creativity that burns through a dancer. I know it’s there, but I just can’t see it.

I certainly agree that being a pole Trickster is a great way to get in shape.  It’s a phenomenal and powerful activity that many awesome and wonderful woman do with their bodies.  But it’s not what I want.  And to answer the question of why, I wrote this response to a friend of mine.  It’s rather raw, and starts off with a doozy, but if you wanted butterflies and lily pads, you probably wouldn’t be reading my blog anyway.

Fuck pole dancing, but not in the way you think.

The pole is a prop, a gimmick.  It’s the feeling of pure sensuality that I am after.  The afterglow of the dance is like the afterglow of sex.  I want to feel beautiful, luscious, delicious.  Circles of erotic bliss.  I want the space to be vulnerable again.

I tire of being hard. Hard at work, hard at home, hard in traffic. I am not a man and have no wish to be.  I am the force that bends instead of breaks; the life that flows instead of shatters.  My heart is transparent because my tears fill it’s soul.

Being at work fights my nature. No, I fight my nature when I’m at work.  My lover requests for my return to dance.  He wishes to see what only a woman in raw movement can show him.  But this vision, this truth is available only when a woman remembers herself.  She experiences life with flaws, weaknesses, strength, mistakes, emotions, and creation.

Reality is not about perfection; this is man’s lie, one he tells himself.  The sun, moon, and stars have NEVER given us perfection, only natural cosmic coincidence.  All things work in harmony because of their inherent chaos.

You want proof?  –  I am proof.

I am a living contradiction, strength and weakness personified in one body.  A living mass of confusion that somehow remains in balance and lives — breathes even.  Whereas a rock, a flawless diamond with the most intricate and perfect structure, highly prized for this logical and regular pattern of atoms, lacks a soul.

The one requirement of life is that it is NEVER perfect, never done.  No matter how many times it has tried, life must continue the struggle or give up.

Enjoy your struggle, your dance of sensuality, and recognize the amount of passion you nurture to be truly ALIVE each and every day.

Do You disagree? Share your ideas in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

Donna asks: Is it true an exotic dancer never dances with the beat of the music but [uses] the undercurrent of the song [instead]?

This particular question is actually a point on contention between many schools of pole dancing.  So the answer is “It Depends.” (I always hated that particular answer though)

Basically there are 3 different views…

First, there’s the idea that you don’t have to listen to the music at all.

That you should perform whatever trick you want whenever you feel like it (or in a specified routine) but the music doesn’t have to match or even make sense. I’m just going to throw this one against the wall and out of the club. Because as far as I’m concerned, if you don’t even notice the music then you aren’t pole dancing, you’re pole tricking…which is a useful training method but NOT a worthwhile performance technique (okay rant over, sorry)

Second, there’s the premise that you find the “hidden beat” of the song.

I’ve heard this described at the “undercurrent” or the “underlying wave.”  This particular technique is usually used during dance improvisation and in many ways I like it.  It encourages the dancer to focus on not just the beat but also the effect the beat has on her heart, her emotions, and her non-logical, pure response body.

However, I think you can take this idea too far.  To me, the point of dancing is to express your authentic self within the layers of music, within the physical studio space, using the tools and props and world around you.  It’s a different and beautiful way to experience life in the current moment.  And that includes the music you hear playing.

By ignoring the music entirely to focus on your own internal beat, you have stopped dancing and started meditating.  I don’t believe there is anything fundamentally wrong with this, BUT a true exotic dancer knows that her performance must make a connection with the audience.  If you are completely inside your own mind, then the audience is more like a peeping tom than a group of people experiencing your art. (I’ve actually had friends say that they felt like it was rude to watch me dance when I used this particular method)

To ignore the music is to sever your connection with the audience.  And this is never the goal for an exotic dancer.

Lastly, there’s the technique where you dance specifically to the beat of the music you are using.

If you ask a professionally trained dancer, they will most likely say that this method is the only method that makes sense for a performance.  And if we were all classically trained dancers with 15+ years of training in ballet, jazz, and tap, then I’d probably agree.

Because over time, your internal beat becomes automatic whenever the music hits you. Your body already knows that this extension of your arm is perfect for who you are right now and to match the emotional content of the song…. that this invert will feel amazing during a booming creshendo…. That rolling on the floor during the guitar solo makes the most sense within your muscle memory.

This, to me, truly defines performance art.  But it doesn’t happen overnight and you can’t force it.  Let me say that again, you can’t force it.  You can create a routine that hits each beat. You can practice the routine until your feet bleed.  You can perform it flawlessly in front of a starstruck audience (hello So You Think You Can Dance). 

But unless you put your entire spirit into it, there will be something missing.

In the end I believe … An exotic dancer uses the beat as if it was her partner, expanding and contracting against him as the underlying wave calls to her.

Creating a never ending dynamic between his beating heart and her authentic soul.

Which method do you use for performances? And which one do you use when you are alone? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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I swear a lot in this post and talk straight up about stripping, so if you don’t like that kind of stuff, then just read this instead.

In case you didn’t know already, I’ve got a soft spot for real strippers.  And not just because they created the rich and beautiful art form that I love (pole & exotic dance)… But also because a real stripper understands an honest days work, just like you do.

Consider exactly what a stripper does…

in corporate lingo…

A stripper provides immediate value to her customers upfront (by dancing on that huge stage FOR FREE). Then, she uses her communication skills (both verbal and non-verbal) to actually get paid for a private consultation (otherwise known as a lapdance).  She has to pay 20% of her commision for the meeting room (or lap dancing booth) before she gets to use it. And another 10-15% for job security (also known as the Bouncer) before she walks out the front door to go home.

She doesn’t get a salary, health insurance, or even the promise of a job waiting for her tomorrow.  And she still has to pay taxes on every penny she makes.  Plus, she completes the entire transaction while exposing more skin than most of us are willing to bare at the beach on a hot summer day.

A real stripper knows that her 9pm – 3am job has the same fundamental principles as your daily grind… She just words them a little differently.  (BTW, these are real tips that I learned from real strippers.  I did not make them up)

Don’t Eat the Free Food in the Back

I don’t know about you, but I absolutely hate the cheap, disgusting food that most companies provides to their employees to lure them into all those boring meetings.  But even worse, I often wonder if everybody washed their hands before sticking them in the communal bowl of M&Ms or “fresh” biscuits.  This is a particularly sticky situation for a stripper.  The smart ones bring their own lollipops or licorice ropes and never, ever, EVER eat food left out at the club. (eeewwww!)

Watch Out for Flying Shoes

Look, it happens.  Newbie strippers love to wear 7 inch platform heels without an ankle strap… and sometimes, if you point your toe just right, it’ll fly off and smack somebody in the face.  Sometimes it even happens accidentally on purpose (ie don’t piss off a stripper).  So, just like you, strippers learn from the stupid shit their coworkers do in front of the customers and the boss… and don’t repeat those mistakes. Because when you piss off the customer, you don’t get tips.  Of course, the whole club will laugh their ass off.  But I promise, it seriously hurts to remove a spike heel from your forehead.

Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.” ~LaoTzu

(PS – as a pole dancer you already know that you should always dance in shoes with ankle straps right? Oh good!)

Always Tip the Bouncer

If you want to stay healthy then you need good health insurance, and you’re going to have to pay for it. The Bouncer is the closest thing a stripper has to a health plan and she knows it’s important to keep him happy.  A smart stripper makes sure that the Bouncer is her BFF, so he’ll work hard to keep her safe.  When you don’t tip your bouncer, you’ll still get health coverage, but it’s usually slow, inefficient, and you’ll end up having to kick someones ass with your platform shoes (see tip above).

Avoid the Two for One Discount

At least once a night, almost every strip club has a two for one special.  That means if a customer buys one lapdance, he gets a second one for free. (A blue light special in the red light district?) However, what you may not realize is when a real stripper hears the DJ make this announcement, she instantly decides to take a break.  She believes in her skills and knows that her expertise are valuable (just like your KICK-ASS skills as an engineer, HR manager, or soccer mom). So unless she’s got a guy who’s going to buy three or more dances and doesn’t smell like he was dipped in cheap tequila, this just isn’t worth her time.

Put On an Original Show

The fastest way to get your ass kicked by a gang of angry strippers is to steal everybody else’s pole & exotic dance tricks.  Imitation is not flattery in a strip club, it’s just plain stupid. Every real stripper knows that she is one of a kind, just like you. Her regular customers show up to see her signature moves and new customers will pick her out from all the other dancers because her performance is original.  She builds her business and her social interactions by the creative use of her strengths, whether they are her spinning helicopter, her ass, or her witty repartee.

When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” ~LaoTzu

If You Don’t Like Stripping, Get the Fuck Off the Stage

Stripping isn’t for everybody.  It takes a special kind of woman to get up on a pole, dance in front of strangers, and convince them to throw money at her.  It doesn’t mean she’s an exhibitionist (I’ve met plenty of strippers that are really very shy).  It doesn’t mean she’s dumb (think of how much a marketing executive gets paid to network with clients using only his communication skills).  And it doesn’t mean she doesn’t have dreams for her future (serious strippers work 5 days a week to pay for college or start their own business).

But, like any other successful woman, a real stripper knows that if she doesn’t enjoy at least some parts of her job, then she’ll just end up sabotaging her own success. She continuously challenges herself to improve her dancing skills, make an extra hundred bucks, or even win exotic dance competitions.  And she looks damn sexy doing it!

At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” ~LaoTzu

I’m not saying we should all go out and be strippers (because this would seriously piss them off and I don’t need to be stripper whipped with a pair of red thigh high boots).  I’m saying that real strippers have a wisdom of their own.

So, the next time you visit a strip club, pay your respects, and remember to tip your dancer!

How do you connect with the history of exotic dance? Do you think dancing can be zen? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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