I started my day off by sharing this on Facebook:

I’m going to quietly grmble in my cubicle this morning. :S (I couldn’t even manage to spell “grumble”)

…and ended it by celebrating an evening filled with stable inverted pressaways.  YIPEE!

When I sat down at my desk at 8am today, I was pissed off, frustrated, depressed, and absolutely, completely, totally stuck.  I felt trapped by my own life and so very tired of struggling to understand why, why, why I couldn’t stop cockblocking my own success (yes, I know I don’t have a cock and I wasn’t trying to get laid, but just go with me here).  I was disappointed that I wasn’t meeting my daily writing quota (I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year), that I hadn’t posted anything to this blog or my other blog in 5 or 6 days, and that I kept falling asleep in my cubicle (at 8am in the morning!) because I was so fucking exhausted.

So what the hell do you do when when you keep hitting the same wall of frustration over and over again?  What do you do when you’re seriously stuck in a funk and can’t shake loose?

First, stop trying to use logic to get out of it. If logic was going to work, you’d have found the answer days, weeks, or months ago…

You need an inspiration!

Luckily, you already have a phenomenal technique to create an AHA moment…

All you need is to get your conscious mind to go to sleep and give your creative muse a safe place to explore. Meaning you’ve got to shed some of those layers of assumptions, baggage, and bullshit that you gathered as a grownup…Give your inner child a game to play.. And show her an awesome playground preferably with a jungle gym.   Psst THIS IS WHERE POLE DANCING COMES INTO THE PICTURE.

Your Body In Motion…

Drive home from work, stumble in the front door, banish everyone from the pole room for at least 20 minutes, throw on the playlist that exemplifies your emotional funk, and peel away your inhibitions.

Pick music that makes you feel grumpy, or sad, or predatory… but only if you actually feel that way.  Don’t change out of your work clothes. STRIP out of your work clothes.  Let each layer of your emotional wall disappear as each song disappears.

Ride the wave of your own anger, your own sadness, your own angst until you can’t tell the difference between the beat of the drum and the beat of your heart. (see that upside down lady on the right with the goofy happy smile… THAT’S ME!)

Once you feel your energy start to wane, allow you body to slow down.  Let the new wave of exhaustion set in as your dance moves away from the pole and onto the floor.  Until finally there is only your breath.

Your Body At Rest…

Inhale that next breath, get out your journal (or a piece of paper) and write the answer to these four questions. They are designed to pull the answers to any difficult problem out of your own unconscious mind.  (PS – I’ve included my own answers but not the secret decoder ring, so if anything seems cryptic that’s because my muse likes to speak in alien languages)

Q1:  What do I need right now?

My Answer: Sleep glorious sleep and to stop pushing myself.  To stop second guessing and ignoring my own desires, wants, and opinions.  Because all I’m doing is wasting energy by “should”ing all over myself (shoulding is  when you tell yourself that you “should, must, have to” do something instead of allowing yourself to consciously choose). I work for 9hrs and come home full of resistance. I don’t feel like working on any of my real passions until I can drain that resistance away.

Q2.  What are the things in my life that feel right, that feel easy, that feel like me?

My Answer: my five wishes, my writing career, spending time with J, writing fiction, writing sensually, writing erotica, connecting to my passions through ExpressTheSensual, pole dancing, reading, working with JBT, hanging out with the important people that I care about, feeling love, feeling truth, feeling and expressing my freedom to choose my life and my reality with each breath, to know and experience this moment exactly as it is…

Q3.  What are the things in my life that feel wrong, that feel hard, that don’t feel like me?

My Answer: driving to work, engineering, aerospace, my day job, being a tech writer, worrying about NOT writing, listening to the people that tell me I need to do this – buy that – believe in their miracle product or end up being a dumb ignorant jackass, feeling like a coward, feeling like I have to do EVERYTHING right now, guilt for doing it wrong, guilt for not doing it before, guilt, guilt, guilt.

Q4. What do I forget to tell myself?

My Answer: That even if I feel like I should do everything, I really don’t need to do everything. That I can just let go of all the shit that I don’t want and spend my precious time, energy, and joy building my reality around all the awesome shit that I do want. To focus on my passion and my purpose.  To know that I have a choice and that I have the ability to choose differently as each moment arrives.  Then, my path will stop feeling sticky and I’ll stop feeling trapped.  (At this point angels descended, birds sang, and an intense desire to dance again hit me)

It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.” –Picasso

AHA!

Try this and you’ll discover what I did.  Your REAL PRIORITIES will suddenly be laid out in front of you in such vivid detail that you can’t ignore them anymore. Accept what is critical to you and then make that the most important part of your day.

Don’t just write down the essentials of your answer. Don’t just pay them lip service. Make choices that reflect YOUR priorities. Define your goals and believe in them.

A good friend once told me “Don’t die with your music still in you!”  Break down your walls by listening to your passions. Discover your bare essentials, and share your rapture with the world.

PS…these questions were inspired by a post by Havi Brooks, who you should be reading if you love kooky, fun, and awesome all rolled into one lady…and her duck Selma. Share your ideas in the comment section!

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There is nothing wrong with your butt.

No, I’m not kidding.  That really is the secret.  The problem is that so many of us know, intellectually, that there is nothing wrong with our butt, BUT (pun intended) emotionally, we have a major complex about our big ass bumping into tables (& men’s faces) or our super skinny flat ass that looks like a pancake.  I’m telling you right now, there is nothing wrong with your butt.

Let me explain this using a more scientific approach (I can do that because I’m a physicist) and take a look at this from both sides of the spectrum.

The Big Ass

Men around the world love it.  Yep.  They love it.  I’ve done extensive research on this particular fact and have realized that although the media portray men and woman speaking about ass like this…

Self-Conscious Lady: Do these jeans make my ass look fat?
Confused Man: Uh, you mean those jeans?
Sadly Insecure Lady: Yes, dumb ass.  The ones I’m wearing.
Trapped Man (hesitantly): You look just fine in those jeans.
Angry Lady: You mean my ass doesn’t look fine in my other jeans?!  Well you can forget about ‘getting some ass’ from me tonight!
Resigned Man (under his breath): Damn it, I wanted that ass.

The SHOCKING truth is that a lot of men wander around hoping and praying that a big butt will come their way and say hello. It’s not that they don’t want to talk to you at all, they just know they’ve hit the jackpot if you’ve got a personality and a big bootay.

For most of my life, I would look at my ass in the mirror and squeeze in the sides, hoping to make it get just a little bit smaller.  But finally, I started to hear what every boyfriend/lover/fiance I’d ever had was trying to tell me.  Our conversations about ass went more like this…

Self-Conscious Lady (accidentally seeing her ass in the mirror): Sigh.
Confused Man: What’s the matter?  And don’t say “nothing” because that’s the tenth time you’ve sighed tonight.
Sadly Insecure Lady: I just wish I’d worn something less revealing.  My butt looks too big in this outfit. I’m just uncomfortable.
Comforting Man: What?!  Your ass looks HOT in those jeans.  I can’t wait to take you home and get a piece of it.
Surprised & Sexy Lady: Really? I always thought my ass was too big.
Excited Man: I love your big ass.  And I think it’s about time I proved it.  Come here.
(The rest of the story has been deleted due to the R rated content

And as a cherry on top, there’s a new trend in Hollywood where some actresses are having ass implants.  Yes, they are having cosmetic surgery to INCREASE the size of their butt.  Mostly, this should tell you that all Hollywood trends are a big load of BS and deserve to be ignored. It doesn’t matter if the trend is skinny jeans OR big asses.  However, what is important is that the world is finally coming to their senses about big butts.  Don’t stay in the closet with yours.

As Sir Mix Alot put it so eloquently, ”Stick it out, even white boys got to shout, baby got back!”

“I like big butts and I cannot lie You other brothers can’t deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung”

But what about the flip side? (HA! that whole sentence was a pun.)

The Skinny Ass

Although I don’t have as much personal experience with having a skinny butt, I have many friends who do.  Every one of them has an ass worth looking at!  I’ve seen men stop, pull down their sunglasses, and stare at my skinny assed friends as they walk by.

My girls told me that their secret to having a super sexy skinny ass is The Sway.  They let their hips sway from side to side as they walk. This creates an amazingly hypnotic motion that is perfectly balanced by the subtle curves of a skinny butt.  And it’s almost impossible not to look at it.  Try it.

1.  Turn on some sensual tunes like “Do I Move You” by Nina Simone (shit, anything from Nina would work!).
2.  Stand 3 or 4 steps back in front of a mirror and slowly walk toward it.
3.  Let your lower hips swing and sway from side to side.
4.  When you get to the mirror, turn around slowly and look over your shoulder.
5.  Walk back to where you started

I dare you to NOT watch the Swaying movement of your skinny ass.  It’s absolutely mesmerizing!

But personally, I think that if you really don’t believe in the power of a skinny butt, then you need to get your ass to the beach.  Throw on your swimsuit and wander around the surf and sand.  At the beach, the skinny butts win the day.  They look GOOD riding on bicycles along the boardwalk.  They look GOOD bouncing and running along the crashing waves.  Skinny butts look REALLY GOOD in bikini bottoms whether they are side ties, tankinis, or just a regular low cut two piece suit.

Why else do you think men go to the beach? Okay, yes. They want to surf or play volleyball.  But when they are done playing, they hang around to watch your skinny ass walk by.   My advice is to throw on your side tie bikini, get an ice cream cone (men have a very serious oral fixation), and start wandering the beach. Sway with the rhythm of the crashing ocean waves and you’ll soon realize that both you AND your ass look sexy as hell!

And if after all that, you still aren’t convinced that, there is nothing wrong with your ass consider this…

And possibly this…
Dance, Dance, Drop Your Pants!

But Not This.

What kind of sexy butt do you have? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Sensuality is an Art

Sensuality can take the word FUCK and transform it into an exploration of life between two connected people. (not to mention the grand finale of orgasms)

The greatest Sensual power is to share your unique experiences with an open heart, a conscious mind, and a gentle hand.

You hold the answer to every mystery and the key is in your hand…. All you have to do is feel it.

How do you experience Sensuality in your life? Do you control Sensuality or does it control you? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Where can you find a celebration of sexual culture and the best people watching in LA?  At one of the largest consumer erotic shows in the US, the 13th annual EroticaLA. (PS, every link in this article is PG-13 PERIOD, but you’re on your own after that.) With an expected turn out of over 40,000 men and women, Erotica LA is getting ready for a three day conference, June 12-14,  that attendees have described as seductive, classy, and inspirational.

EroticaLA is an erotica convention (not hard core porn).  That means it’s more like an adult candy store *wink* with naughty shopping, colorful exhibits, and awesome How-To seminars. Plus, they’ve got some of the hottest burlesque shows and the sexiest people in the Los Angeles area.  Every booth and showcase is designed to tantalize and tease with tons of sex appeal but absolutely no live nudity.  The convention itself is extremely female friendly, since over 35% of attendees are woman and 67% of ticket holders attend with friends or as part of a couple.

Sexy Shows

Before you head out to the Los Angeles Convention center, make sure and check the EroticaLA show schedule and plan your day around the sexy showcases.  My absolute favorites from previous years were The Hollywood Men stage show, the Screaming O contest, and the Devil’s Playground Burlesque show.  And this year’s 4th annual FAME (Fans of Adult Media & Entertainment) Awards looks to be a scorcher with nominees such as Jenna Haze, Bella Donna, and Tera Patrick.  Plus, you can still add in your FAME vote!

A highly anticipated new addition to the lineup is the Miss EroticaLA Pageant.  One lucky lady will be chosen from 12 finalists and crowned on Saturday.  The winner will receive multiple exclusive film and photography sessions as well as public representation by Rising Star.  Plus, she’ll be on the cover of AVN Magazine. Ooh La La!

How To  $@(&!  Seminars

Don’t forget to check out a couple of the special seminars put on by The Pleasure Chest and others awesome Sexperts.  My absolute must-see seminar is the “Porn Stars Reveal: Sex Tips, Tricks and Bloopers” on Friday at 9:30pm and an interview on sex play tips and tricks with Nina Hartley, a registered nurse and adult film star.

Many of these seminars are R-rated adult material, so don’t be surprised if they get “down and dirty.” Besides, you aren’t going to EroticaLA for another Vanilla weekend are you? *wink*  I’m certainly not.

Naughty Shopping & Sensational Exhibits

Once you’ve figured out your showcase highlights, don’t forget to wander through the Blissful shopping opportunities.  You’ll find Henna tattoo artists next to sex toy exhibits and some awesome Pole Dancing studios ( to the LA PoleDancers!).

Luckily, EroticaLA has two shopping areas so you don’t have to see anything you don’t want to.

The Sensual Zone, usually on the right side of the entrance, is for those that want to just shop for sexy clothes, fun makeup ideas, and entertaining novelties. The X Zone, on the left side of the entrance, is for those that want to buy recently released adult videos, chat with porn stars (fully clothed of course), and check out some awesome people watching at local LA fetish clubs booths.  Just be forewarned, the X Zone always has what I’ve come to call “the huge house of porn,” so pick your pleasure wisely.  *wink*

Special Contests for Pole Dancers

In previous years, many well known dance pole manufacturers have created danceable exhibits and contests for pole dancers.  I’ve won some lovely prizes and tested some of the next generation, new and improved professional poles.  Plus, plenty of exotic, burlesque, and pole dance studios from the Los Angeles and Southern California area show up to advertise great classes, put on special workshops, and just have fun. 

If you are a new student looking to enhance your current training or an instructor looking to network, EroticaLA is the convention for you!

Tickets, Erotica Bucks, and Discounts… Oh My!

So, here’s the nitty gritty for tickets. All tickets are available through the EroticaLA website and TicketWeb. Every ticket comes with $5 Erotica Bucks, valid at any vendor at the conference (so if you get the 3 day pass, you’ll get $15 free bucks to spend) and if you twitter, you can get a special $5 off your EroticaLA tickets.

I always buy the EroticaLA VIP 3-day pass because I get to meet everybody on Friday, check out the awesome showcases on Saturday, and get the best shopping deals on Sunday.  However, if you can only go for one day, pick Saturday.  It has the best shows, the best seminars, and plenty of phenomenal people watching and pole dancing fun!  With EroticaLA, you just can’t go wrong.

Will I see you there?  ExpressTheSensual.com will have a tweetup on Saturday, June 13 at 12pm (noon)! Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Make A Wish

You’re not alone.  Many of my beginner students are afraid to let go of their inhibitions and express their sensual nature through movement.  And one of my readers recently asked “I was wondering if you had any advise on getting over the whole embarrassing/shy thing.”

Happily, overcoming your performance anxiety is absolutely possible for everyone. And the best part is that, the confidence you gain while dancing will propagate into every aspect of your life. But, you will have to face a fear or two.  Don’t worry.  Keep reading and you’ll find plenty of tools to help you own the dance floor in almost any situation.

These Boots Were Made For Walking

The first thing I teach in every class is how to walk.   And the reason is because I want you to have the ability to feel like the sexy, powerful, woman that you are.  I want you to turn it on and off at will.  Literally.

I encourage my students to take their “sexy” out for a walk in a public place. Strolling along the sidewalk as they usually do, and then turning on the charm so to speak.  Try it and you’ll be amazed at the positive reactions you receive and how vibrant you feel.

To turn on your “sexy” walk you simply need to remember four little words…

SLOW SLINK SLIDE SMILE

1. Slow - Take your time.  Charismatic woman usually aren’t in a rush to get somewhere.  Let you body move with purpose and intention, staying conscious of each step along your inner and outer path.

2.  Slink – Allow your hips to sway and your body to curve slightly while you walk.  According to “The Definitive Book of Body Language,” men love a 67-80% hip-to-waist ratio.  But you don’t actually have to have that ratio to be alluring.  By tilting your pelvis as you walk, you automatically create the perfect hip-to-waist ratio.  Plus, if you sway your torso, you will give the impression of flexibility.  And both sexes find flexibility attractive in a mate.

3. Slide - As you take each step, slightly drag the big toe or inside of your shoe along the ground.  This forces you to slow down, and makes your legs look longer.  Extending your legs is a powerful nonverbal signal that indicates you are a mature passionate woman .

4.  Smile – A small, tight lipped smile is a submissive gesture that says “I have a secret.”  If you pair this with a slight down tilt to the head as you look up, it makes men want to protect you and woman want to be you.

To practice these steps, turn on some stimulating music and strut your stuff in front of a mirror.  It’s important to be able to look yourself in the eye and feel the seductive energy coming off your body. If you feel it, so will everyone else. Once you’ve mastered the sexy walk both in the mirror and in public, then you’re ready to begin shedding your performance anxiety.

Here are two major milestones required to help you dance with self confidence.

All Mine

The first milestone is to remember that you own the stage. At this moment, anyone watching has come here to see you.  Not the girl before you.  Not the girl after you.  Not the pole or the chair or any other props you might be using.  You.

That means you are in control.  Don’t downplay this control and don’t ignore it. Pick music, sexy shoes, clothes, and any other props that make you feel empowered… and by that I mean HOT.

Maintain that control.  Don’t let the attention of your audience wander.  Keep it focused on you for your entire dance.  If you’re wearing shoes, stamp your feet to make a loud noise.  Add in some twirls to automatically cause their eyes to trace your movements.  Go extra slow to drag out anything scintillating and force them to feel antic………….pation.

If Tha Mood

The second milestone is a little bit tricky.  And by that, I mean you have to make a choice.  Do you want to notice your audience or do you want to ignore them? Each choice will cause your audience to react in a different manner.

If you ignore your audience, they will feel like they are spying.  They may feel guilty while watching you but unable to stop as you lead them through an exhilarating secret moment. This is the easiest method, but can sometimes backfire if you don’t allow some playfulness to show through.  The audience must believe that you are giving them this glimpse of your own free will.  If they believe you don’t want to be there, they will notice this negative emotion instead of your beautiful movement.

Alternatively, if you pay attention to your audience, they will feel as if they are participating in the dance. As if you are playing with their emotions.  This method requires that you use the SMILE you learned in the previous exercise and make eye contact.  Even if it’s only for a moment.  As you catch someone’s eye think “this is my stage”, “I am beautiful”, or “I feel amazing.”  Besides being the absolute truth, these thoughts will send a strong vibration throughout your audience and fill you with courage.

What the Fuck is LadyLike

With each performance, whether its for your class or at a pole showcase, you’ll feel the anxiety fade.  By facing this fear, you will actually know more about your inner self and learn to express that feminine fire in your everyday life. You’ll discover that it is better to laugh at your small mistakes and simply stretch through them playfully.  85% of the time your audience won’t notice the mistake anyway, and 10% of the time they’ll think you did it on purpose.

The Power is yours already, you simply have to accept it.

Little Johnny & Jane are playing in the garden when they begin having an argument over whether girls are better than boys.  Johnny pulls down his pants and says “Boys are better than girls ‘cos you don’t have one of these!” Jane bursts out crying because she knows she doesn’t have one of those. She rushes inside to her mother and a little while later comes back outside with a huge grin on her face.  “My mom says girls are better than boys,” she says with confidence. “Are not” says the boy, “You haven’t got one of these.” Jane looks at him, raises her skirt and pulls down her panties.  “My mom says that as long as I have one of these, I can have one of those anytime I want.”

How do you eliminate shyness? Do you enjoy performing for your class or for groups? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Pole dancing is a recent addition to the US fitness industry but there have already been numerous sport specific injuries.  Just type “pole dancing accident” into any YouTube or Google browser.

Greg Welch M.S, a physiologist and the owner of Specifit, believes that the most likely injuries from pole dancing can occur at the rotator cuff, a group of small muscles that surround and protect the shoulder ball and cuff socket.

Overuse is the #1 reason for injury.  Physical performance… requires training to prevent injury — Greg Welch

Here’s my Sensual Girls Guide to the six questions you should ask your instructor to ensure she is up to date about pole dancing fitness and safety.

1. Does she have a current Fitness Certification?

Although it’s not a requirement in every US state, a group fitness or personal training certification is essential for any fitness instructor.  American Council on Exercise (ACE) and Aerobics and Fitness Association of America (AFAA) are two of the most common US fitness organizations.  They require certified instructors to prove their fitness knowledge with written and demonstrative testing. All US certifications also require the instructor to maintain an understanding of current fitness research, and trends, through continuing education.
Benefit to you: Your instructor will help you avoid common fitness injuries with a proper warm-up, muscle specific stretching, and knowledge of first aid techniques.

2.  Does she have a Pole Dancing Certification or License?

Besides a fitness certification, your instructor should have a pole dancing license or certification.   Many pole specific licensing programs include the basic pole dancing spins and safety techniques.  Some also include 100 mentoring hours with a master instructor to ensure the new teacher learns successful training methods.  There are multiple pole dancing instructor workshops available that are supported by current fitness organizations.  Both AFAA and ACE offer Pole Dancing Fitness and Safety continuing education for instructors.I am a Licensed Level 1 & 2 PoleCat Power Method instructor which includes the AFAA recognized workshops for Pole Dance Skills and Injury Prevention.
Benefit to you: Your pole dancing classes will be taught using a proven method that has worked safely and effectively for hundred of students.

3. Does she have a strong safety focus?

Pole dancing is based on spinning around a pole with your feet off the ground.  That makes it an aerial art form with all the beauty and possible injuries from falling.  Your instructor should understand aerial dance and pole spotting techniques as well as have alternative modifications for students with a wide variety of fitness levels. She should also use proper safety equipment, such as pole mats and grip aids.
Benefit to you: Your instructor will provide a safe environment, quality equipment, and be able to adjust or fully support your weight during a difficult trick.

4.  Does she know poles?

There are at least a dozen manufactures that sell poles made from different materials, in different diameters, at different heights, with different features, and different mounting requirements.  Manufactures vary widely as do the quality and safety of their poles. Your instructor should be aware of the most common pole variations and be able to explain the features and benefits of each type. Check out my post on How To Buy a Dancing Pole for specific details about poles.
Benefit to you: You instructor can help you choose a safe, professional pole for your personal practice at home or away from the studio.

5. Is she committed to continuous pole training?

Even with the continuing education requirements of a fitness certification, your instructor should be constantly training.  A professional instructor will maintain a personal focus on greater mastery of aerial pole dance, weight training, flexibility, and cardio endurance.  Your instructor should also have an understanding of the far reaching background of pole dancing. This includes the circus and aerial acrobatics, contemporary and fosse jazz dancing, gymnastics, yoga, hip-hop club dancing, belly dancing, sensual movements, aerobic fitness, exotic or erotic dancing, and so much more. I’ll be posting The History of Pole Dancing soon!

Teaching is not training, so instructors must keep training — Greg Welch

Benefit to you: By expanding her knowledge and abilities in pole dancing, sensual feminine movement, and in other fitness genres, your instructor will always have fresh material and new techniques to teach at every class.

6.  Does she create a fun learning atmosphere?

A professional pole dancing instructor will have a complete lesson plan for each class that guides students to develop playful, safe mastery of each pole trick, transition, and technique. Most great instructors encourage students to use mistakes as learning opportunities and use auditory, visual, and kinesthetic (experiential) methods to reach everyone in class.  Your instructor should maintain a polite and respectful attitude and ask students before hands-on spotting or stepping into their personal space.

Plus, the studio should have enough poles for students to practice and rest as required.  Greg Welch recommends “a one to three work to recovery ratio is a great place to start interval training,”  so no more than three students per pole.
Benefit to you: You get a phenomenal learning experience with plenty of positive encouragement, a friendly class commradarie, and just the right amount of pole time.

With the right instructor, your Pole Dancing class will be a Fun & Safe way to get fit and explore your passionate, feminine soul.

PS. Please contact me if you are looking for a professional pole dancing instructor in your area.  I may be able to help.

What qualities do you like in an instructor? What additional training do you think a pole dance instructor should have? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

A Quality Pole

First off, lets get you excited, meaning all hot and bothered, about buying that 8 foot tall (or more!) floor to ceiling shiny metal pole.  Believe me, the first time you wrap your hands around the perfect circumference of polished metal with the knowledge that it’s yours and your alone, you’ll absolutely understand why I’ve got three poles at home.

A pole is an investment in your health and fitness, as well as an outlet for your sensuality, so take some time browsing the different types of materials, sizes, surface finishes and spinning or static versions.  And always buy from a professional pole manufacturer that uses high quality materials and manufacturing methods.  Although you may find these to be a little more expensive than the cheap “toy” poles (avoid the Electra Pole and the Peek A Boo Pole), the reputable manufacturers listed below also have good customer service to keep your new baby in perfect working order.

Titanium, Brass, and Steel… Oh My!

Yes ladies, you’ve got your pick of materials.  Depending on the manufacturer, you’ll find poles made of three different materials.

• Stainless Steel has a lovely polished silver sheen but a slightly slippery grip when new (see my pole FAQ article for tips to work in your pole).
• Chrome has a great ready to use surface right out of the box. They are both easy to clean and usually the cheapest option available.
• Titanium Gold (TG) comes in a beautiful dusty gold finish and a grip worth raving about, but you have to be a little careful when you clean it and it’s definitely on the more pricey side.
• Brass, when new, looks like (you guessed it) brass.  Give it a month of two of good use though, and you’ll start to see it’s surface tarnished from skin oils.  Brass is moderately expensive, and must be cleaned often to keep it hygienically clean, but it provides the perfect grip surface once its worked in.  This is why it is the original material used for poles in most Strip Clubs.

I can hear you crying, “Which one do I choose?”  Most beginners and advanced enthusiasts alike find that either stainless steel or chrome is really the best bang for your buck.  It’s the best way to ensure that, after training on your home pole, you’ll be comfortable spinning on any pole you find in the Sensual Girl’s Wilderness of dance clubs, pole dancing studios, and the occasional date with a Fireman (Thats Hot!).

A Painted Pole

Once you start perusing, you’ll might discover that some pole manufacturers offer a painted pole option.  Believe it or not, your pole can arrive painted in the mysterious shade of flat black, the playful shade of pink, the vamp shade of red, and, for the truly adventurous…faux-flames. (yes, really!)  In fact, you can even work with the manufacturer for any custom paint job.  Although many notable ladies of pole have started with painted poles, very few find this option to be optimal.  The paint does increase the grip, but I’ve found them to be a little too kitschy for me. And any small scratch can cause a serious problem later, whether its flaking paint or a painful metal gouge you can’t buff out, leaving your pole unusable (boo, hiss, cry).

The All Important Issue of Girth

The standard diameter size of most poles is 50mm or approximately 2 inches.  However, since every woman is different, pole manufacturers realized that they have to provide an option for those ladies with smaller hands.  And the 45mm (~1.5 inches) diameter pole was born.  Here’s the short of it, if you’ve got tiny hands and the only pole you plan on using is the one at home, consider buying the 45mm option.

To Spin or Not To Spin

Goodness, there’s still more to say about poles (I could truly type all day, but I know you want to get on with buying one!).  Your standard static pole is just like a pipe that runs from floor to ceiling.  You’ll be twirling around it, but the pole never rotates.  However, some manufacturers sell poles with static and spinning options.  That means that the pole is mounted on a special smooth rotation mount inside the pole, and the outer pole can spin freely (clockwise or counter clockwise) once the locking pin is released.

Personally, I’m a static pole girl, but I love having the spinning pole option when I need a day of true centrifugal acceleration (that what creates the force you feel pulling you away from the center when you spin round and round).

Follow Your Feelings

So, there are three major pole manufacturers out there, and they all offer some variation of the pole materials, sizes, surfaces, and spin options I’ve listed.  Peruse all three (they are linked below) just to get a feel for things and pay attention to which features thrill and excite you more than the others.

• Do you love the silver surface of the stainless steel or the smaller diameter size? – Choose the LilMynx Standard
• Do you want a static pole & one that rotates like a fabulous spinning top? – Choose the Chrome or Titanium Xpole
  
• Do you want a flaming pipe to twirl on in your guest bedroom? – Choose the custom painted LilMynx
• Do you want a brass pole for the best grip on the planet? – Choose a PoleDanzer Brass Pole
  

Just listen for your amorous heart to call out for one of them.

When I took this step, I started with the basic Lil Mynx (a good beginner’s pole), but quickly upgraded to the Standard 50mm Xpole .  It gave me all the options; static or spinning with the turn of two screws, the best grip surface right out of the box, portability, and easy height variations.  They also have great customer service and a warranty.  In fact, I love this pole so much, I have three! (two stainless and one titanium).

Remember, a little risque goes a long way!

So, which one did you choose and why? Share your ideas in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

“What kind of safety equipment do you use for advanced inverts?”

–from J.A. in Washington

In case you haven’t noticed, safety is one of my favorite topics, so lets start with the general safety requirements for exotic aerial pole dancing.

1. Pole Safety Check.

Before every training session, you should check the setup and stability of your pole. Make sure that you are using a professional pole, like the ones they sell through LilMynx or Xpole and that it has been installed according to the manufacturers instructions. Also make sure the the humidity or room temperature hasn’t made the pole too sticky or to slippery. Use rubbing alcohol or grip aids if needed.

2. Always Warmup.

You must have a warmup before any exercise or training activity. Even if you are not going to be doing any advanced movements, a basic warmup, like I have included in my online classes or that you might do in your local aerobics class, is perfect. This ensures your core body temperature and muscles are warm enough to work through your full range of motion.

3. An Experienced Spotter.

If you can train with a friend, make sure and learn how to spot each other during inverts and other advanced movements. Find someone you trust, because spotting requires physical contact. A good spotter doesn’t just stand back and watch you while you try something for the first time. She should be able to help you during the trick execution and catch you or break your fall if you need to come down quickly.

4. A PoleCat Power Safety Mat.

Whether you have a spotter or not, a firm thick mat developed for heavy use during aerial pole training is one of the best ways to protect your body while learning a new trick (see picture above). I train with these mats and I absolutely use them in my local and private classes. They are tough enough to walk on with your high heels but have enough give to help protect you during a fall. You can purchase these through LilMynx or through the developer, UrbanFertilityDancer.

5. Always Cooldown.

A cooldown is absolutely essential to any exercise session, just like a warmup. A cooldown ensures that you give your body time to slow down and avoid serious injury from a rapid drop in blood pressure. A few minutes of easy standing movements plus stretching will keep you safe and help you enjoy all the great physical and emotional benefits of your training session.

6. Be A Smart Cookie.

Finally, the most important piece of safety equipment in aerial exotic pole dancing is you. You must listen to the small whispers and messages your body sends to you. Pay attention to your level of strength or fatigue and give yourself a rest if you need it. Its okay to change your plans and work on basic spins and transitions instead of inverts if you are too tired. Remember, the person most responsible for your safety is you.

How do your worries affect you? What techniques do you use to let go? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!