Express The Sensual

Today I was reminded of how critical it is to pay attention to all the stuff you actually give a shit about.  Otherwise you miss all the phenomenal experiences that life is trying to give you. (because sometimes it’s difficult to figure out what YOU care about when your boss, your peers, and the TV are demanding you do totally different things) So how do you know what is really important and what’s just bullshit?

I started my day off by sharing this on Facebook:

I’m going to quietly grmble in my cubicle this morning. :S (I couldn’t even manage to spell “grumble”)

…and ended it by celebrating an evening filled with stable inverted pressaways.  YIPEE!

When I sat down at my desk at 8am today, I was pissed off, frustrated, depressed, and absolutely, completely, totally stuck.  I felt trapped by my own life and so very tired of struggling to understand why, why, why I couldn’t stop cockblocking my own success (yes, I know I don’t have a cock and I wasn’t trying to get laid, but just go with me here).  I was disappointed that I wasn’t meeting my daily writing quota (I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year), that I hadn’t posted anything to this blog or my other blog in 5 or 6 days, and that I kept falling asleep in my cubicle (at 8am in the morning!) because I was so fucking exhausted.

So what the hell do you do when when you keep hitting the same wall of frustration over and over again?  What do you do when you’re seriously stuck in a funk and can’t shake loose?

First, stop trying to use logic to get out of it. If logic was going to work, you’d have found the answer days, weeks, or months ago…

You need an inspiration!

Luckily, you already have a phenomenal technique to create an AHA moment…

All you need is to get your conscious mind to go to sleep and give your creative muse a safe place to explore. Meaning you’ve got to shed some of those layers of assumptions, baggage, and bullshit that you gathered as a grownup…Give your inner child a game to play.. And show her an awesome playground preferably with a jungle gym.   Psst THIS IS WHERE POLE DANCING COMES INTO THE PICTURE.

Your Body In Motion…

Drive home from work, stumble in the front door, banish everyone from the pole room for at least 20 minutes, throw on the playlist that exemplifies your emotional funk, and peel away your inhibitions.

Pick music that makes you feel grumpy, or sad, or predatory… but only if you actually feel that way.  Don’t change out of your work clothes. STRIP out of your work clothes.  Let each layer of your emotional wall disappear as each song disappears.

Ride the wave of your own anger, your own sadness, your own angst until you can’t tell the difference between the beat of the drum and the beat of your heart. (see that upside down lady on the right with the goofy happy smile… THAT’S ME!)

Once you feel your energy start to wane, allow you body to slow down.  Let the new wave of exhaustion set in as your dance moves away from the pole and onto the floor.  Until finally there is only your breath.

Your Body At Rest…

Inhale that next breath, get out your journal (or a piece of paper) and write the answer to these four questions. They are designed to pull the answers to any difficult problem out of your own unconscious mind.  (PS – I’ve included my own answers but not the secret decoder ring, so if anything seems cryptic that’s because my muse likes to speak in alien languages)

Q1:  What do I need right now?

My Answer: Sleep glorious sleep and to stop pushing myself.  To stop second guessing and ignoring my own desires, wants, and opinions.  Because all I’m doing is wasting energy by “should”ing all over myself (shoulding is  when you tell yourself that you “should, must, have to” do something instead of allowing yourself to consciously choose). I work for 9hrs and come home full of resistance. I don’t feel like working on any of my real passions until I can drain that resistance away.

Q2.  What are the things in my life that feel right, that feel easy, that feel like me?

My Answer: my five wishes, my writing career, spending time with J, writing fiction, writing sensually, writing erotica, connecting to my passions through ExpressTheSensual, pole dancing, reading, working with JBT, hanging out with the important people that I care about, feeling love, feeling truth, feeling and expressing my freedom to choose my life and my reality with each breath, to know and experience this moment exactly as it is…

Q3.  What are the things in my life that feel wrong, that feel hard, that don’t feel like me?

My Answer: driving to work, engineering, aerospace, my day job, being a tech writer, worrying about NOT writing, listening to the people that tell me I need to do this – buy that – believe in their miracle product or end up being a dumb ignorant jackass, feeling like a coward, feeling like I have to do EVERYTHING right now, guilt for doing it wrong, guilt for not doing it before, guilt, guilt, guilt.

Q4. What do I forget to tell myself?

My Answer: That even if I feel like I should do everything, I really don’t need to do everything. That I can just let go of all the shit that I don’t want and spend my precious time, energy, and joy building my reality around all the awesome shit that I do want. To focus on my passion and my purpose.  To know that I have a choice and that I have the ability to choose differently as each moment arrives.  Then, my path will stop feeling sticky and I’ll stop feeling trapped.  (At this point angels descended, birds sang, and an intense desire to dance again hit me)

It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.” –Picasso

AHA!

Try this and you’ll discover what I did.  Your REAL PRIORITIES will suddenly be laid out in front of you in such vivid detail that you can’t ignore them anymore. Accept what is critical to you and then make that the most important part of your day.

Don’t just write down the essentials of your answer. Don’t just pay them lip service. Make choices that reflect YOUR priorities. Define your goals and believe in them.

A good friend once told me “Don’t die with your music still in you!”  Break down your walls by listening to your passions. Discover your bare essentials, and share your rapture with the world.

PS…these questions were inspired by a post by Havi Brooks, who you should be reading if you love kooky, fun, and awesome all rolled into one lady…and her duck Selma. Share your ideas in the comment section!

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I’m going to tell you a secret.  A super secret that is going to change the way you think for the rest of your life.  Ready?  Here it is….

There is nothing wrong with your butt.

No, I’m not kidding.  That really is the secret.  The problem is that so many of us know, intellectually, that there is nothing wrong with our butt, BUT (pun intended) emotionally, we have a major complex about our big ass bumping into tables (& men’s faces) or our super skinny flat ass that looks like a pancake.  I’m telling you right now, there is nothing wrong with your butt.

Let me explain this using a more scientific approach (I can do that because I’m a physicist) and take a look at this from both sides of the spectrum.

The Big Ass

Men around the world love it.  Yep.  They love it.  I’ve done extensive research on this particular fact and have realized that although the media portray men and woman speaking about ass like this…

Self-Conscious Lady: Do these jeans make my ass look fat?
Confused Man: Uh, you mean those jeans?
Sadly Insecure Lady: Yes, dumb ass.  The ones I’m wearing.
Trapped Man (hesitantly): You look just fine in those jeans.
Angry Lady: You mean my ass doesn’t look fine in my other jeans?!  Well you can forget about ‘getting some ass’ from me tonight!
Resigned Man (under his breath): Damn it, I wanted that ass.

The SHOCKING truth is that a lot of men wander around hoping and praying that a big butt will come their way and say hello. It’s not that they don’t want to talk to you at all, they just know they’ve hit the jackpot if you’ve got a personality and a big bootay.

For most of my life, I would look at my ass in the mirror and squeeze in the sides, hoping to make it get just a little bit smaller.  But finally, I started to hear what every boyfriend/lover/fiance I’d ever had was trying to tell me.  Our conversations about ass went more like this…

Self-Conscious Lady (accidentally seeing her ass in the mirror): Sigh.
Confused Man: What’s the matter?  And don’t say “nothing” because that’s the tenth time you’ve sighed tonight.
Sadly Insecure Lady: I just wish I’d worn something less revealing.  My butt looks too big in this outfit. I’m just uncomfortable.
Comforting Man: What?!  Your ass looks HOT in those jeans.  I can’t wait to take you home and get a piece of it.
Surprised & Sexy Lady: Really? I always thought my ass was too big.
Excited Man: I love your big ass.  And I think it’s about time I proved it.  Come here.
(The rest of the story has been deleted due to the R rated content

And as a cherry on top, there’s a new trend in Hollywood where some actresses are having ass implants.  Yes, they are having cosmetic surgery to INCREASE the size of their butt.  Mostly, this should tell you that all Hollywood trends are a big load of BS and deserve to be ignored. It doesn’t matter if the trend is skinny jeans OR big asses.  However, what is important is that the world is finally coming to their senses about big butts.  Don’t stay in the closet with yours.

As Sir Mix Alot put it so eloquently, ”Stick it out, even white boys got to shout, baby got back!”

“I like big butts and I cannot lie You other brothers can’t deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung”

But what about the flip side? (HA! that whole sentence was a pun.)

The Skinny Ass

Although I don’t have as much personal experience with having a skinny butt, I have many friends who do.  Every one of them has an ass worth looking at!  I’ve seen men stop, pull down their sunglasses, and stare at my skinny assed friends as they walk by.

My girls told me that their secret to having a super sexy skinny ass is The Sway.  They let their hips sway from side to side as they walk. This creates an amazingly hypnotic motion that is perfectly balanced by the subtle curves of a skinny butt.  And it’s almost impossible not to look at it.  Try it.

1.  Turn on some sensual tunes like “Do I Move You” by Nina Simone (shit, anything from Nina would work!).
2.  Stand 3 or 4 steps back in front of a mirror and slowly walk toward it.
3.  Let your lower hips swing and sway from side to side.
4.  When you get to the mirror, turn around slowly and look over your shoulder.
5.  Walk back to where you started

I dare you to NOT watch the Swaying movement of your skinny ass.  It’s absolutely mesmerizing!

But personally, I think that if you really don’t believe in the power of a skinny butt, then you need to get your ass to the beach.  Throw on your swimsuit and wander around the surf and sand.  At the beach, the skinny butts win the day.  They look GOOD riding on bicycles along the boardwalk.  They look GOOD bouncing and running along the crashing waves.  Skinny butts look REALLY GOOD in bikini bottoms whether they are side ties, tankinis, or just a regular low cut two piece suit.

Why else do you think men go to the beach? Okay, yes. They want to surf or play volleyball.  But when they are done playing, they hang around to watch your skinny ass walk by.   My advice is to throw on your side tie bikini, get an ice cream cone (men have a very serious oral fixation), and start wandering the beach. Sway with the rhythm of the crashing ocean waves and you’ll soon realize that both you AND your ass look sexy as hell!

And if after all that, you still aren’t convinced that, there is nothing wrong with your ass consider this…

And possibly this…
Dance, Dance, Drop Your Pants!

But Not This.

What kind of sexy butt do you have? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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1. Sensuality is an Art
2. Sensuality is both the Mystery and the Discovery.  It’s the power of almost… To almost touch, to almost kiss, to almost finish him off.  It’s the power to tease with the promise of complete fulfillment… but only when YOU are ready.
3. You choose Sensuality as much as Sensuality chooses you.
4. Sensuality can’t be overpowered by anger, sadness, joy or fear because it takes these emotions and gives you the ability to feel them throughout every inch of your skin.  Consider this phenomenal gift… The feeling of life within your body.  Pain or Pleasure doesn’t matter when it means you are really, truly, finally ALIVE. Sensuality is how you know you are living instead of surviving.
5. How does it feel to take a simple breath?  To slowly inhale, slowly exhale and know that the world is changing around you with each passing moment? Changing so that you can experience it?  Why are you waiting to explore that change?  Do it NOW.
6. Sensuality can turn a breath into a kiss and a kiss into EVERYTHING else!
7. Sensuality is the feeling of unbounded living within a gilded cage of limited time.
8. You cannot defeat Sensuality, but it will take you as a willing prisoner–>Locked in the shackles of love, of sensation, of truth.  There is no need for escape.
9. Although Sensuality doesn’t know you, it knows that it wants you and it always gets what it wants.
10. Sensuality will grant you the most amazing powers, but only if you accept the world, your reality, exactly as it is Right Now.  To deny the truth is to deny your sensual power.
11. Sensuality gives you the power to dream in vivid color, knowing that your imagination is only a step away from the truth.  It teaches you to believe…in your goals, in your abilities, and most importantly in yourself.
12. Dance is Sensuality living and breathing through your soul.
13. Sensuality is so much more than your senses and yet forever expanding into your infinite consciousness.
14. Sensuality can take the word FUCK and transform it into an exploration of life between two connected people. (not to mention the grand finale of orgasms)
15. To be careless with Sensuality is to drown in a pool filled with the thoughts and feelings of strangers while your own life cries for help.
16. You cannot force Sensuality, but you can whisper tender wishes in it’s ear and tantalize your own life with the promise of passion.
17. Have no illusions, Sensuality will burn you, but it will soothe and heal your wounds with kisses so soft the clouds will pass in jealousy.
18. If you rush Sensuality, you end up with dry rivers and rainstorms without rainbows.
19. The greatest Sensual power is to share your unique experiences with an open heart, a conscious mind, and a gentle hand.
20. Explore the Sensual world around you and discover that YOU are the door and the world is the mirror.

You hold the answer to every mystery and the key is in your hand…. All you have to do is feel it.

How do you experience Sensuality in your life? Do you control Sensuality or does it control you? Share your ideas in the comment section!

If you enjoyed the article, please subscribe to ExpressTheSensual.com and share it with your friends using the Share & Enjoy social bookmarking sites. Thank you for your support!