Express The Sensual

Is your dancing inhibited? Do you get anxious when performing in front of a group, even in your pole class? Are you afraid to dance for you lover?  Are you afraid to dance in front the mirror?

Make A Wish

You’re not alone.  Many of my beginner students are afraid to let go of their inhibitions and express their sensual nature through movement.  And one of my readers recently asked “I was wondering if you had any advise on getting over the whole embarrassing/shy thing.”

Happily, overcoming your performance anxiety is absolutely possible for everyone. And the best part is that, the confidence you gain while dancing will propagate into every aspect of your life. But, you will have to face a fear or two.  Don’t worry.  Keep reading and you’ll find plenty of tools to help you own the dance floor in almost any situation.

These Boots Were Made For Walking

The first thing I teach in every class is how to walk.   And the reason is because I want you to have the ability to feel like the sexy, powerful, woman that you are.  I want you to turn it on and off at will.  Literally.

I encourage my students to take their “sexy” out for a walk in a public place. Strolling along the sidewalk as they usually do, and then turning on the charm so to speak.  Try it and you’ll be amazed at the positive reactions you receive and how vibrant you feel.

To turn on your “sexy” walk you simply need to remember four little words…

SLOW SLINK SLIDE SMILE

1. Slow - Take your time.  Charismatic woman usually aren’t in a rush to get somewhere.  Let you body move with purpose and intention, staying conscious of each step along your inner and outer path.

2.  Slink – Allow your hips to sway and your body to curve slightly while you walk.  According to “The Definitive Book of Body Language,” men love a 67-80% hip-to-waist ratio.  But you don’t actually have to have that ratio to be alluring.  By tilting your pelvis as you walk, you automatically create the perfect hip-to-waist ratio.  Plus, if you sway your torso, you will give the impression of flexibility.  And both sexes find flexibility attractive in a mate.

3. Slide - As you take each step, slightly drag the big toe or inside of your shoe along the ground.  This forces you to slow down, and makes your legs look longer.  Extending your legs is a powerful nonverbal signal that indicates you are a mature passionate woman .

4.  Smile – A small, tight lipped smile is a submissive gesture that says “I have a secret.”  If you pair this with a slight down tilt to the head as you look up, it makes men want to protect you and woman want to be you.

To practice these steps, turn on some stimulating music and strut your stuff in front of a mirror.  It’s important to be able to look yourself in the eye and feel the seductive energy coming off your body. If you feel it, so will everyone else. Once you’ve mastered the sexy walk both in the mirror and in public, then you’re ready to begin shedding your performance anxiety.

Here are two major milestones required to help you dance with self confidence.

All Mine

The first milestone is to remember that you own the stage. At this moment, anyone watching has come here to see you.  Not the girl before you.  Not the girl after you.  Not the pole or the chair or any other props you might be using.  You.

That means you are in control.  Don’t downplay this control and don’t ignore it. Pick music, sexy shoes, clothes, and any other props that make you feel empowered… and by that I mean HOT.

Maintain that control.  Don’t let the attention of your audience wander.  Keep it focused on you for your entire dance.  If you’re wearing shoes, stamp your feet to make a loud noise.  Add in some twirls to automatically cause their eyes to trace your movements.  Go extra slow to drag out anything scintillating and force them to feel antic………….pation.

If Tha Mood

The second milestone is a little bit tricky.  And by that, I mean you have to make a choice.  Do you want to notice your audience or do you want to ignore them? Each choice will cause your audience to react in a different manner.

If you ignore your audience, they will feel like they are spying.  They may feel guilty while watching you but unable to stop as you lead them through an exhilarating secret moment. This is the easiest method, but can sometimes backfire if you don’t allow some playfulness to show through.  The audience must believe that you are giving them this glimpse of your own free will.  If they believe you don’t want to be there, they will notice this negative emotion instead of your beautiful movement.

Alternatively, if you pay attention to your audience, they will feel as if they are participating in the dance. As if you are playing with their emotions.  This method requires that you use the SMILE you learned in the previous exercise and make eye contact.  Even if it’s only for a moment.  As you catch someone’s eye think “this is my stage”, “I am beautiful”, or “I feel amazing.”  Besides being the absolute truth, these thoughts will send a strong vibration throughout your audience and fill you with courage.

What the Fuck is LadyLike

With each performance, whether its for your class or at a pole showcase, you’ll feel the anxiety fade.  By facing this fear, you will actually know more about your inner self and learn to express that feminine fire in your everyday life. You’ll discover that it is better to laugh at your small mistakes and simply stretch through them playfully.  85% of the time your audience won’t notice the mistake anyway, and 10% of the time they’ll think you did it on purpose.

The Power is yours already, you simply have to accept it.

Little Johnny & Jane are playing in the garden when they begin having an argument over whether girls are better than boys.  Johnny pulls down his pants and says “Boys are better than girls ‘cos you don’t have one of these!” Jane bursts out crying because she knows she doesn’t have one of those. She rushes inside to her mother and a little while later comes back outside with a huge grin on her face.  “My mom says girls are better than boys,” she says with confidence. “Are not” says the boy, “You haven’t got one of these.” Jane looks at him, raises her skirt and pulls down her panties.  “My mom says that as long as I have one of these, I can have one of those anytime I want.”

How do you eliminate shyness? Do you enjoy performing for your class or for groups? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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“What kind of safety equipment do you use for advanced inverts?” –from J.A. in Washington

In case you haven’t noticed, safety is one of my favorite topics, so lets start with the general safety requirements for exotic aerial pole dancing.

1. Pole Safety Check.

Before every training session, you should check the setup and stability of your pole. Make sure that you are using a professional pole, like the ones they sell through LilMynx or Xpole and that it has been installed according to the manufacturers instructions. Also make sure the the humidity or room temperature hasn’t made the pole too sticky or to slippery. Use rubbing alcohol or grip aids if needed.

2. Always Warmup.

You must have a warmup before any exercise or training activity. Even if you are not going to be doing any advanced movements, a basic warmup, like I have included in my online classes or that you might do in your local aerobics class, is perfect. This ensures your core body temperature and muscles are warm enough to work through your full range of motion.

3. An Experienced Spotter.

If you can train with a friend, make sure and learn how to spot each other during inverts and other advanced movements. Find someone you trust, because spotting requires physical contact. A good spotter doesn’t just stand back and watch you while you try something for the first time. She should be able to help you during the trick execution and catch you or break your fall if you need to come down quickly.

4. A PoleCat Power Safety Mat.

Whether you have a spotter or not, a firm thick mat developed for heavy use during aerial pole training is one of the best ways to protect your body while learning a new trick (see picture above). I train with these mats and I absolutely use them in my local and private classes. They are tough enough to walk on with your high heels but have enough give to help protect you during a fall. You can purchase these through LilMynx or through the developer, UrbanFertilityDancer.

5. Always Cooldown.

A cooldown is absolutely essential to any exercise session, just like a warmup. A cooldown ensures that you give your body time to slow down and avoid serious injury from a rapid drop in blood pressure. A few minutes of easy standing movements plus stretching will keep you safe and help you enjoy all the great physical and emotional benefits of your training session.

6. Be A Smart Cookie.

Finally, the most important piece of safety equipment in aerial exotic pole dancing is you. You must listen to the small whispers and messages your body sends to you. Pay attention to your level of strength or fatigue and give yourself a rest if you need it. Its okay to change your plans and work on basic spins and transitions instead of inverts if you are too tired. Remember, the person most responsible for your safety is you.

How do your worries affect you? What techniques do you use to let go? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!