Dear Kiki,
I totally feel your pain.  I remember when I was 12 and had no idea what cellulite was or that I was doomed to one day look at my legs and literally think “eeewww”

But before I show you some easy ways to reduce the look of cellulite I wanted to take a minute and rant about how The Rules have hurt us (women with cellulite) over the years.

Win the Battle or Lose the War?

Now, I’m not usually the first person to shout “that’s not fair.”  But with cellulite I’m happy to stand on the tallest building and scream my head off for the bullshit of it all. Not because some woman are genetically more likely to have it than others, but simply because I don’t understand why we all hate it so much.

Beauty comes in all sizes, not just size 5. ~Roseanne

When did this happen?  I’m pretty sure the cave women didn’t run around worrying if their upper thighs had small lines, blemishes, or random indentations. And yet, today many of us spend millions of dollars on exercise machines, skin creams, and special diets that might – MIGHT- reduce (not get rid of but just reduce) the look of cellulite.

Having cellulite doesn’t mean you are skinny or not, healthy or not, past your prime or not (NOBODY is past their prime in my book).  In fact, almost every woman over 25 I know has some sort of cellulite, somewhere…not because I spend my time inspecting for it, but because every woman I know eventually tells me where it is.  I can be sure that somebody feels comfortable with me after we’ve had the dreaded “so where is your cellulite” conversation.

And even though I don’t believe it’s fair, I can’t help but dislike the look and feel of my own cellulite.  So let’s do ourselves a favor, ladies, and stop thinking of cellulite as something that was our punishment for past sins. In fact, I try to imaging that my cellulite is actually just a couple of cute, but misplaced dimples.  And dimples never bothered anybody (okay, rant over)

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. ~Confucius

Fight The Good Fight

So now, how do you deal with your body dimples so that you feel like the sexy, fabulous minx that you are?

Well, I don’t recommend fishnets, simply because they make things much to slippery for pole dancing.  (If you are giving a luscious chair dance however, then ROCK those fishnets until he’s drowning in your nets)

TIP #1

My favorite fishnet alternative is BodyStrings which I wrote about here and here. They are a slip free way to focus attention onto some colorful costume accessories, cover up anything you feel shy about, and make you look HOT HOT HOT.

TIP #2

You can also consider spray on nylons. (I totally just heard you say WTF? Spray on nylons, such as Nyce Legs, are a little know stripper secret that give you just enough extra color to hide or smooth out the look of spider veins, cellulite, or other body dimples.  Strippers also use them to cover up an accidental bruise (a hazard most pole dancers know) or hide small tattoos.

Now I don’t recommend these for daily use, simply because I prefer organic and natural products, but I do have them in my cupboard for performances & showcases.  However, you should test them out first.  Some woman still find them a bit slippery, but they work pretty well for me as long as I make sure they are very dry before curtain time.

TIP #3

My last tip is probably my favorite however.  Did you know that the look of cellulite INCREASES whenever you tighten the muscles of your butt or thighs. Walk yourself over to a mirror and take a look as you flex the area you are worried about.  You’ll see what I mean.

So, if you simply practice your pole and exotic dance moves while keeping your ass relaxed, nobody will ever know you’ve got such cute body dimples.  Plus, if you always keep a slight bend in the leg (instead of flexing your leg) facing your audience, the skin on your thighs will stay nice and taut.

And finally, make sure to always point your toes whenever you bend at the hips. Actually, always, always point your toes while dancing PLEASE. (Flexing instead of pointing, which we call PORN FOOT in my classes, is one of my major pet peeves) Pointing your feet causes an extension of the lower calf and stretches the muscles making your legs look, long, strong, and down to get the friction on (courtesy of Sir Mix A Lot)

So, you’ve got lots of options to help you resolve those sweet body dimples, but just remember…

There’s nothing wrong with you, EXACTLY as you are.

The most beautiful view is the one you share with me. ~Author Unknown

Is beauty a battle for you? How do you remind yourself of how beautiful you are? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

Ah yes, the many and various ways of moving across the dance floor without walking, strutting, or twirling.  Crawling, is so much more than the dictionary definition would imply…

“1 : to move slowly in a prone position without or as if without the use of limbs 2 : to move or progress slowly or laboriously”

Crawling is usually done slowly in a crouched or prone position…  But there is so much raw sensuality inherent in crawling. I feel so powerful while crawling that it’s easy to imagine I’m an animal stalking my prey.  So, I only use it when I have a very specific and appreciative audience.

I’m a major stickler for details when it comes to crawling because I’ve had so many students come to me with knee injuries and shoulder pain from doing it incorrectly.  But we’re going to fix all that right now.  So let’s get into the nitty gritty of the Slinky Crawl…

Get Down On It

First, in order to crawl you have to be down on the floor.  Now, don’t just rush down to the floor. Take a little extra time with this particular transition.  The most often used movement is a variation of the slinky squat, but my personal favorite is a slide.  Slide down the pole, slide down the wall, slide down a chair, slide down your partner (don’t be afraid of a little audience participation, ROWR!)

Simply place your back on the pole/wall/partner and your hands in a supporting position (usually above your head gripping the pole, pushing on the wall, or gently holding onto his neck) so you can control your slide.  Plant one foot on the ground while allowing the other foot to slide in front & away from you.  (If you have knee issues I can help you find a different variation that doesn’t require a deep knee bend like this) Remember, to keep your shoulders away from your ears & your abs tight.

Take an agonizingly slow journey to the floor until your tush hits the ground. This is a perfect chance to spend some time flirting with your audience or yourself.  (BTW, I teach at least four different ways to get to the floor in both my level 1 pole and level 1 exotic dance classes plus a gazillion different variations.  This is just one.)

DoggyStyle

Next, you need to get onto your hands and knees.  Again, there are a million different ways to do this, depending upon your level of flexibility, leg covering (ie slideability), and laziness.  I’m a laaazzzyyy dancer, so I like things that look easy even if they are really fucking hard to do.  And since we’re going to focus on crawling, let’s go with the straightforward technique.

At this point, you should be sitting on your butt with your back on the pole/wall/partner.  Just let your body continue to slide until your head is resting on the floor.  Then luxuriously roll onto your belly. (I teach how to roll over sensually as well, but I don’t want to overwhelm you here)

Now, here’s the tricky bit (Are you paying attention?) Press your hands on either side of your chest and open your knees so your legs loosely form a diamond shape. I.E. your knees will be wider than your hips.  This also means you can feel the floor on the soft flesh on the inner side of your knees but NOT on the knee cap.  (you only get two knee caps, so don’t skip this part!) Now push down with your hands as you let your butt move straight backwards toward your feet.  If you pretend somebody you really like is tugging down & back on your g-string, you’ll do exactly what I mean.

Notice that the majority of your weight is on your calves but your knees do NOT hurt.  That your hands, elbows, and shoulders are in line while the back muscles are relaxed and down.  Plus your stomach muscles are nice and tight.  Viola! Welcome to every man’s favorite position for sex. (ahem! oh, was that too risque?  Really? )

Creep, Slither, Crawl

Finally, let’s take your first slink along the floor.  If you are positioned correctly, you’ll feel how easy it is to rock your body away from your hands toward your butt, BUT (teehee) you start to loose your balance if your head & chest go too far forward past your hands.  You’ll also feel how easy it is shift your weight from one leg to the other leg.  Now shift your weight back AND toward one side.  This makes it easy to lift the opposite leg off the floor and slide it closer towards your hand.  Move that hand forward, shift your weight again and slide your leg again.  Make sure you end up on the inner edge of your knee and not the knee cap. (I really recommend wearing Bella pants for this part until you’ve mastered the rolling and sliding motions.)

Then just repeat, repeat, repeat.  When I use this particular crawl, I feel like I’m rocking my butt and sliding my legs.  My hands just keep my upper body balanced for the next step. And to keep things sexy, I make sure I relax my neck, so my hair hides my face and my head sweeps (slowly and easily) from side to side.

Then, when I’m ready to get closer to my audience, I deliberately look up through my hair and lock eyes.  Even if they can’t see your face, they will get a chill from your sensual power in this moment.

When everything is working right, this crawl feels very strong, but looks very slow.  It’s deliberately lazy. You want your audience to focus on your butt swinging from side to side. (I know I would *wink*) This movement can exude both vulnerability, from your prone position, and a direct sensual power, when executed with confidence.

Allow both the music (I love Esthero for the deep sensual beats) and your personal style to infect each sway of your hips, each shift of your sensuous legs. Focus on how the audience responds to you or on how you respond to your surroundings.

Do your feel supported by the earth…

Do you feel the slowly building heat of holding your limbs close and keeping your head lowered…

Do you feel rushed or lazy, soft or dangerous, exposed or predatory…

When you play with the animal inside you discover the freedom to express your authentic, sensual nature.

Let your boundaries go.

Do you usually crawl when you dance? What other variations do you enjoy? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

This particular question is actually a point on contention between many schools of pole dancing.  So the answer is “It Depends.” (I always hated that particular answer though)

Basically there are 3 different views…

First, there’s the idea that you don’t have to listen to the music at all.

That you should perform whatever trick you want whenever you feel like it (or in a specified routine) but the music doesn’t have to match or even make sense. I’m just going to throw this one against the wall and out of the club. Because as far as I’m concerned, if you don’t even notice the music then you aren’t pole dancing, you’re pole tricking…which is a useful training method but NOT a worthwhile performance technique (okay rant over, sorry)

Second, there’s the premise that you find the “hidden beat” of the song.

I’ve heard this described at the “undercurrent” or the “underlying wave.”  This particular technique is usually used during dance improvisation and in many ways I like it.  It encourages the dancer to focus on not just the beat but also the effect the beat has on her heart, her emotions, and her non-logical, pure response body.

However, I think you can take this idea too far.  To me, the point of dancing is to express your authentic self within the layers of music, within the physical studio space, using the tools and props and world around you.  It’s a different and beautiful way to experience life in the current moment.  And that includes the music you hear playing.

By ignoring the music entirely to focus on your own internal beat, you have stopped dancing and started meditating.  I don’t believe there is anything fundamentally wrong with this, BUT a true exotic dancer knows that her performance must make a connection with the audience.  If you are completely inside your own mind, then the audience is more like a peeping tom than a group of people experiencing your art. (I’ve actually had friends say that they felt like it was rude to watch me dance when I used this particular method)

To ignore the music is to sever your connection with the audience.  And this is never the goal for an exotic dancer.

Lastly, there’s the technique where you dance specifically to the beat of the music you are using.

If you ask a professionally trained dancer, they will most likely say that this method is the only method that makes sense for a performance.  And if we were all classically trained dancers with 15+ years of training in ballet, jazz, and tap, then I’d probably agree.

Because over time, your internal beat becomes automatic whenever the music hits you. Your body already knows that this extension of your arm is perfect for who you are right now and to match the emotional content of the song…. that this invert will feel amazing during a booming creshendo…. That rolling on the floor during the guitar solo makes the most sense within your muscle memory.

This, to me, truly defines performance art.  But it doesn’t happen overnight and you can’t force it.  Let me say that again, you can’t force it.  You can create a routine that hits each beat. You can practice the routine until your feet bleed.  You can perform it flawlessly in front of a starstruck audience (hello So You Think You Can Dance). 

But unless you put your entire spirit into it, there will be something missing.

In the end I believe … An exotic dancer uses the beat as if it was her partner, expanding and contracting against him as the underlying wave calls to her.

Creating a never ending dynamic between his beating heart and her authentic soul.

Which method do you use for performances? And which one do you use when you are alone? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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BodyStrings have always been love at first sight for me.  I originally discovered these beauties while searching for an alternative for fishnet tights.

I always though fishnets looked hot, but whenever I wore them for pole work, I just slid right down.  Climbing was next to impossible and inverts were seriously scary.

My first experiment with Fishnets quickly hit the “Oh Shit” level on the Danger, Will Robinson, Danger meter when I realized that the safety of my head was depending on the friction between the pole & a teeny, tiny 1×1 inch patch of skin. (as compared to the 4×4 inch patch I depend upon now So, I went searching for fishnets with much bigger diamond spaces between the “threads.” (while singing ‘We’re going on a Treasure Hunt‘ because that’s just how I roll!)

What I found was BodyStrings!

So the skeptical scientist in me, looked at the single picture online (this one to the right) and said..

What the Fuck are these things? Do they come that way? They look cool, but how do these things work? Will it be just as slippery as fishnets?”

Luckily, I’ve been advised by my therapist that I should avoid talking to myself for hours at a time.  So instead, I asked a few of my exotic dancer & aerial acrobat friends who know about these sorts of wild costume accessories.

BodyStrings?” they said ” They are just a stretchy string that you wrap around your body. People usually double up the colors, and put them on one or both legs to visually extend their costume or add an artsy aspect.”

My brain then flashed…

Awesome Hot Naughty

Tie-me-up Playful Must have two in every color

(my brain can be very insightful sometimes)

So I bought 6 colors from ElectroniqueBoutique.com and quickly discovered that, for some reason, the damn things are sold in single strings instead of in pairs. (so much for logic).

Tip: Always buy 2 BodyStrings of the same color, at the same time, or your left and right sides won’t match.

Then I began experimenting with how to use them.  And they deliver!  They’ve got that sexy fishnet look and let you stick like glue! (no glue was harmed in the testing of this statement)

I love experimenting with them and discovering new & fun variations every time I pull them out, but these 3 are my favorite:

1. Create your own Fishnet Tights

Basically you fold two (or three if you’re really adventurous) different BodyStrings in half, step on the middle with your foot, and then crisscross them up your leg until you run out of string.

You can create large or small diamond patterns.  But, make sure you keep the BodyStrings taut & tie them off tightly just above or below your kneecap to avoid slippage while you dance.

2. Create your own Ballerina Platform Shoes

Pull out a pair of plain black or white high heeled shoes, fold one BodyString in half, wrap it around the heel of the shoe and then cross it over the top of your foot.  Then cross the ends under the arch of the shoe and cross it over your Achilles heel.  Do this once or twice more and then, using whatever BodyStrings are left, crisscrossing them up your leg or around your lower calf.

This is a seriously HOT look that any woman can rock, and it makes your shoes feel so much more secure for pole dancing. I even wear shoes with BodyStrings like this to formal events (I’ve actually had men tell me these were the cutest shoes they’ve ever seen!)

3.  Create your own Choker & Fishnet Sleeves

Again, fold one BodyString in half & place the middle on one side of your neck.  Wrap the ends around your neck (keeping things a bit looser than in the previous two examples since you don’t actually want to choke yourself) until you end up on the same side that you started. Then simply crisscross the BodyStrings under and over your arm until you reach your elbow and tie the ends off. (This ends up looking similar to the leg version above)

You can also use them to crisscross over your torso while wearing a bikini top…

Transform a tank top into an empire waist top…

Create a colorful hairdo by adding in a BodyString as part of a braid or as a headband that turns into a choker…

Or even wrap them up the outside of a pair of black boots & create an extra sexy accent in whatever color you want…

And just in case you’re still on the fence (or the Hoop, like the luscious Leigh Acosta sporting her BodyStrings in the picture at the top of this post)… Here’s another beautiful example of a pole dancer who has BodyStrings and knows how to ROCK ‘EM!…Check out the awesome Starr Grrl!

Okay, I’m going to stop gushing now. Just go get a pair while they are still 2.99 2.49?! (OMG, they are on sale for 2.49 each) I’m off to buy more colors! I’ve only got red, black, nude, white, blue, pink, and lavender.

Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman inside it.” ~Author Unknown

What are you going to do with your BodyStrings? Send me your BodyString picture with a short HowTo and I’ll post it here! Share your ideas in the comment section!

If you enjoyed the article, please subscribe to ExpressTheSensual.com and share it with your friends using the Share & Enjoy social bookmarking sites. Thank you for your support!

I first discovered most of these beauties during my monthly forays into the wilds of Hollywood Blvd in downtown Los Angeles. There is a special section just east of Highland (approximately 10 city blocks long) that is filled with tattoo parlous, cheap souvenir shops, tired tourists that wandered too far from Grauman’s Chinese theater, and the absolute best exotic dance clothing and shoe shops on the planet.  Seriously, these places are amazing and the clothing runs from super cheap to super chic.  You can get custom made bikinis for 20 bucks or custom made boots with Swarovski crystals for $1000 and up.  I don’t buy g-strings from anywhere else.

However, there are a couple of online stores where you can procure my favorite pole dance attire as well, so for those of you that don’t have a shopping trip to the city of movie stars planned anytime soon, I’ll include links wherever I can.

1.  Body Strings

I could sing the praises of body strings to the world.  These dirt cheap stretchy lengths of nylon fabric are just the leftover ends of costumes that didn’t make it to the showroom floor.  But you can wrap your legs, arms, torso, or any other exposed body part for a beautiful criss crossing accent of every luscious curve. You can use them to hold up your hair and then seductively set it free during a performance.  I constantly use them to safely secure an annoying pair of platform heels and keep them from shifting during a dance (critical advice if you want to avoid flying stripper shoes, and you do!).  Make sure and get two of each color (they sell them in singles) to have an infinite combination of twisty sexy fun!

2.  Fabric Scarves

I have been using scarves in my pole dancing improvisation since I first started learning this beautiful movement over 6 years ago.  They have the ability to add so many different elements depending on what kind you like and how you use them.  First, just a basic soft silk scarf whether it is long or relatively short can add a splash of color & a flowing element instantly to any dance. I use it to accentuate movements to my audience or tickle my own skin with it’s liquid-like texture.   And of course, you can cover any exposed curves that you wish to use to tease your audience or yourself.  You can even spray it with your favorite perfume to create a deeper emotional connection to your memories through scent.

Oh, and if you ever feel the need to restrain your audience (during a lapdance where he refuses to sit on his hands for example) then the scarf is a perfect way to keep those wandering hands safely tucked away. I’ve even seen boas & neckties used in a similar manner when necessary.  Oh the joy of audience participation!

3.  Boots

Yes, these to me are not just an alternative for shoes.  Although some pole dancers use them during each and every practice session, I consider them a prop that adds an extra bit of sweet, sweet Ginger (my version of the naughty girl in all of us).  First, don’t just throw on a pair and hope that you can dance in them.  Boots require extra caution and plenty of practice to understand how to work with the layer of sticky pleather that can slow down your spins but rocket your climbs & inverts to the level of spiderwoman. I like shiny black thigh highs for nights when I’m feeling powerful and predatory, but a pair of red go-go boots can’t be beat for a stomping good time.

4.  Lace or Mesh CoverUp

If you want to discover the best piece of clothing that adds mystery while keeping the dancer cool and saucy, then pick up one of these. Although they don’t actually hide anything from view, they provide a saucy layer of fabric to slide your hands seductively over your curves and tug & remind your audience of your (lack of) clothing.  And if you choose one that has a silver or metallic thread, you’ll find your body sparkles like a starlet on the dimly lit dance floor.  Plus, you always have the option to remove them if they hamper your movement & toss them at your audience for added effect.

5.  Legwarmers

Alright, I have to admit that some people hate this leftover fashion statement from the Jane Fonda era of exercise, but I am truly a big fan.  Although it does take some extra practice to figure out how to climb and hold advanced inverts while wearing leg warmers, I believe it is worth the effort.  For me, I get the benefit of warm calves that look hot, without having to put on a pair of heels or boots.  Plus, these babies slide.  So all my floor work becomes more fluid, more streamlined, and just more sensual overall.  I feel that legwarmers give me more freedom to move and explore the different textures of dance. Maybe they can do the same for you.

6.  Masks

Ah, the power of anonymity.  I will tell you a secret that I’ve never spoken to a soul before; I have never felt more electric energy coursing through my body than during a masked performance.  Holding your audience in suspense, wondering if you’ll take off the mask and reveal your face (even if they know what you look like) is a invigorating experience that I believe every dancer should have at least once. And Halloween is the perfect chance.  Make sure to pick a mask that is comfortable but won’t fall apart while you slink and slide (venetian masks are perfect for this!).  I prefer ones that only cover my eyes and that tie in the back so I have the choice of exposing my true self or not.  And make sure you avoid masks with too many feathers or sharp corners so that you don’t accidentally catch yourself or distract from your deliciously hidden dance.

7.  Hats

Let me just say that I LOVE HATS.  I have seen hats transform my students from a rocker chick into a tantalizing tease, from a sensual siren into a Betty booty. Everybody dances different when they put on a hat….as long as you remember one little rule — keep the hat on your body or in your peripheral vision.  You want to keep your emotions and your audience focused on how you react to the hat. Does it make you feel flirty to cover you face & your lovely curves?  Does it make you feel strong to look out from underneath the brim and catch someones eye?  Or maybe it’s just one of those dances where you take off everything… Except for the hat!

Try one prop or try them all, and I’m sure you’ll find something that will change (or possibly revolutionize) your pole dancing practice.  Plus, you never know what will spark your creative fire.

Just remember…

YOU connect a series of movements into a dance.

YOU own the authentic mesmerizing sensuality.

YOU hold the key to a powerful expression of life in this moment.

…An accessory is just a little bit of frosting, but YOU take the cake.

PS – The subject & title of this post came from a tweet by the lovely miss Angela (@Angee514)

What’s your favorite pole dancing accessory? What store is your favorite guilty shopping pleasure? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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First let me put every BUTT at ease.  If you have an ass, you can booty pop it. Small, big, round, flat, muscular, or wiggly–It doesn’t matter.  As you know, I have strong convictions about the power of your awesome ass.  So don’t even think about using it’s size or shape as an excuse.

Second, let me say that the way I explain, teach, & perform booty popping may be totally different than the way somebody else does it.  I only mention this because I’ve seen woman (strippers, belly dancers, and pole dancers) do things with their body that defy the laws of gravity.  I’m a physicist AND a pole dancer, so my booty popping methods take gravity into account.

A Popping Primer

Step one of booty popping is to first FIND and then RELAX your tush.

Most women hold stress in their derriere, causing it to stay tight and tense all day.   Tensing up your gluteal muscles (that’s the technical term for ass) actually accentuates all the cellulite. (Nooo!) This is not a pretty look.  It’s also impossible to get a good rump jiggle going if your ass cheeks are so tight together that you could crush coal into a diamond.

So, get up (yes, right now) and stand behind your seat, with your hands resting by your sides.  Bend your knees slightly to help relax your fanny, and then poke yourself in the hinter cheeks.  (This is a test. This is only a test… of the emergency tight ass system) It should feel fairly soft. (Poke. Poke) It shouldn’t feel tense or tight. (Poke) If it feels tight, bend slightly at the hips and lean on the top of your chair. This should help release the gluteal muscles even more.

Step two of booty popping is to ASSume the position.

Rest your hands or your forearms on the back of your chair (don’t use a chair that swivels) and tighten your abs slightly (to protect your lower back).  But DON’T tighten your tush.  Then, standing with your feet shoulder width apart, come onto the balls of your feet.  If you need to lean over the chair a little to keep your heiny relaxed and balanced on your tippy toes, do that.  This position places your tushy front and center as well as maintains the perfect balance for long term jiggling.

Step three of booty popping is to think “There’s no place like home.”

Basically, you take a cue from Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and click your heels together.  Keep the quads (front of your thighs) strong and try to pivot on the balls of your feet.  The faster you click your heels the more your booty will pop. You know you’re doing it right if it feels like the sides of your hootenany are vibrating.  (Check out my last video at min 0:56 to see this in action) If you don’t feel the vibration, bend over the chair a bit more and focus on relaxing your buns.

Start with a slow easy beat (Juicy by Better Than Ezra) and a slow shake.  Then try to build your endurance to a faster more sustained vibration (Smack That by Akon & Rump Shaker by Wreckx-n-Effect)

I bet doing that made you giggle like a schoolgirl!  Keep gigglin’– it helps with the jigglin’

Once You Pop, You Can’t Stop

Now, if you want to develop total tookus control, you’ll need to learn how to separate and activate ALL the different gluteal muscles.  I recommend you work with a professional popper or your local belly dance instructor to learn this.  But here’s the quick & dirty version.

• Sit next to a mirror in a relaxed straddle position with your legs straight out to either side.  (Don’t go into the full front splitz unless that’s *very* easy for you)
• Lean forward slightly, placing your hands on the ground in front of you, and using them to support the weight of your torso.
• Looking in the mirror, strongly contract your thighs; inner, outer, and top.  (You should see your ass cheeks lift off the floor, hooray!)
• Roll your pelvis under while contracting your thighs. This will cause your back to arch as if you were trying to hold water on top of your butt. (You should definitely see your ass cheeks lift off the floor alot, hip hip hooray!)
• Keeping your abs strong, repeat the contraction until you can minimize the flexing of your legs and maximum the lifting of your ass. (I like to do this in bed right before I go to sleep. It’s very entertaining for your lover or for your dog, whichever one you’ve got right now.)
• Over time, you’ll be able to isolate each ass cheek and pop them to the beat.

“I want women to be liberated and still be able to have a nice ass and shake it” ~Shirley MacLaine

So whether you prefer to shake your money maker or pop it like it’s hot (thanks Snoop Dog) you must practice, practice, practice!  Just be careful… because that Milkshake brings ALL the boys to the yard.

Do you enjoy a good booty bounce now & then? How do you make your cheeks clap? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Make A Wish

You’re not alone.  Many of my beginner students are afraid to let go of their inhibitions and express their sensual nature through movement.  And one of my readers recently asked “I was wondering if you had any advise on getting over the whole embarrassing/shy thing.”

Happily, overcoming your performance anxiety is absolutely possible for everyone. And the best part is that, the confidence you gain while dancing will propagate into every aspect of your life. But, you will have to face a fear or two.  Don’t worry.  Keep reading and you’ll find plenty of tools to help you own the dance floor in almost any situation.

These Boots Were Made For Walking

The first thing I teach in every class is how to walk.   And the reason is because I want you to have the ability to feel like the sexy, powerful, woman that you are.  I want you to turn it on and off at will.  Literally.

I encourage my students to take their “sexy” out for a walk in a public place. Strolling along the sidewalk as they usually do, and then turning on the charm so to speak.  Try it and you’ll be amazed at the positive reactions you receive and how vibrant you feel.

To turn on your “sexy” walk you simply need to remember four little words…

SLOW SLINK SLIDE SMILE

1. Slow - Take your time.  Charismatic woman usually aren’t in a rush to get somewhere.  Let you body move with purpose and intention, staying conscious of each step along your inner and outer path.

2.  Slink – Allow your hips to sway and your body to curve slightly while you walk.  According to “The Definitive Book of Body Language,” men love a 67-80% hip-to-waist ratio.  But you don’t actually have to have that ratio to be alluring.  By tilting your pelvis as you walk, you automatically create the perfect hip-to-waist ratio.  Plus, if you sway your torso, you will give the impression of flexibility.  And both sexes find flexibility attractive in a mate.

3. Slide - As you take each step, slightly drag the big toe or inside of your shoe along the ground.  This forces you to slow down, and makes your legs look longer.  Extending your legs is a powerful nonverbal signal that indicates you are a mature passionate woman .

4.  Smile – A small, tight lipped smile is a submissive gesture that says “I have a secret.”  If you pair this with a slight down tilt to the head as you look up, it makes men want to protect you and woman want to be you.

To practice these steps, turn on some stimulating music and strut your stuff in front of a mirror.  It’s important to be able to look yourself in the eye and feel the seductive energy coming off your body. If you feel it, so will everyone else. Once you’ve mastered the sexy walk both in the mirror and in public, then you’re ready to begin shedding your performance anxiety.

Here are two major milestones required to help you dance with self confidence.

All Mine

The first milestone is to remember that you own the stage. At this moment, anyone watching has come here to see you.  Not the girl before you.  Not the girl after you.  Not the pole or the chair or any other props you might be using.  You.

That means you are in control.  Don’t downplay this control and don’t ignore it. Pick music, sexy shoes, clothes, and any other props that make you feel empowered… and by that I mean HOT.

Maintain that control.  Don’t let the attention of your audience wander.  Keep it focused on you for your entire dance.  If you’re wearing shoes, stamp your feet to make a loud noise.  Add in some twirls to automatically cause their eyes to trace your movements.  Go extra slow to drag out anything scintillating and force them to feel antic………….pation.

If Tha Mood

The second milestone is a little bit tricky.  And by that, I mean you have to make a choice.  Do you want to notice your audience or do you want to ignore them? Each choice will cause your audience to react in a different manner.

If you ignore your audience, they will feel like they are spying.  They may feel guilty while watching you but unable to stop as you lead them through an exhilarating secret moment. This is the easiest method, but can sometimes backfire if you don’t allow some playfulness to show through.  The audience must believe that you are giving them this glimpse of your own free will.  If they believe you don’t want to be there, they will notice this negative emotion instead of your beautiful movement.

Alternatively, if you pay attention to your audience, they will feel as if they are participating in the dance. As if you are playing with their emotions.  This method requires that you use the SMILE you learned in the previous exercise and make eye contact.  Even if it’s only for a moment.  As you catch someone’s eye think “this is my stage”, “I am beautiful”, or “I feel amazing.”  Besides being the absolute truth, these thoughts will send a strong vibration throughout your audience and fill you with courage.

What the Fuck is LadyLike

With each performance, whether its for your class or at a pole showcase, you’ll feel the anxiety fade.  By facing this fear, you will actually know more about your inner self and learn to express that feminine fire in your everyday life. You’ll discover that it is better to laugh at your small mistakes and simply stretch through them playfully.  85% of the time your audience won’t notice the mistake anyway, and 10% of the time they’ll think you did it on purpose.

The Power is yours already, you simply have to accept it.

Little Johnny & Jane are playing in the garden when they begin having an argument over whether girls are better than boys.  Johnny pulls down his pants and says “Boys are better than girls ‘cos you don’t have one of these!” Jane bursts out crying because she knows she doesn’t have one of those. She rushes inside to her mother and a little while later comes back outside with a huge grin on her face.  “My mom says girls are better than boys,” she says with confidence. “Are not” says the boy, “You haven’t got one of these.” Jane looks at him, raises her skirt and pulls down her panties.  “My mom says that as long as I have one of these, I can have one of those anytime I want.”

How do you eliminate shyness? Do you enjoy performing for your class or for groups? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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“What kind of safety equipment do you use for advanced inverts?”

–from J.A. in Washington

In case you haven’t noticed, safety is one of my favorite topics, so lets start with the general safety requirements for exotic aerial pole dancing.

1. Pole Safety Check.

Before every training session, you should check the setup and stability of your pole. Make sure that you are using a professional pole, like the ones they sell through LilMynx or Xpole and that it has been installed according to the manufacturers instructions. Also make sure the the humidity or room temperature hasn’t made the pole too sticky or to slippery. Use rubbing alcohol or grip aids if needed.

2. Always Warmup.

You must have a warmup before any exercise or training activity. Even if you are not going to be doing any advanced movements, a basic warmup, like I have included in my online classes or that you might do in your local aerobics class, is perfect. This ensures your core body temperature and muscles are warm enough to work through your full range of motion.

3. An Experienced Spotter.

If you can train with a friend, make sure and learn how to spot each other during inverts and other advanced movements. Find someone you trust, because spotting requires physical contact. A good spotter doesn’t just stand back and watch you while you try something for the first time. She should be able to help you during the trick execution and catch you or break your fall if you need to come down quickly.

4. A PoleCat Power Safety Mat.

Whether you have a spotter or not, a firm thick mat developed for heavy use during aerial pole training is one of the best ways to protect your body while learning a new trick (see picture above). I train with these mats and I absolutely use them in my local and private classes. They are tough enough to walk on with your high heels but have enough give to help protect you during a fall. You can purchase these through LilMynx or through the developer, UrbanFertilityDancer.

5. Always Cooldown.

A cooldown is absolutely essential to any exercise session, just like a warmup. A cooldown ensures that you give your body time to slow down and avoid serious injury from a rapid drop in blood pressure. A few minutes of easy standing movements plus stretching will keep you safe and help you enjoy all the great physical and emotional benefits of your training session.

6. Be A Smart Cookie.

Finally, the most important piece of safety equipment in aerial exotic pole dancing is you. You must listen to the small whispers and messages your body sends to you. Pay attention to your level of strength or fatigue and give yourself a rest if you need it. Its okay to change your plans and work on basic spins and transitions instead of inverts if you are too tired. Remember, the person most responsible for your safety is you.

How do your worries affect you? What techniques do you use to let go? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!