Our lives are filled with perpetual, consuming worries for everything except for what is happening RIGHT NOW.

Take a moment and ask yourself if you really have any problems in this EXACT second.  Not earlier this morning, or two minutes from now, or tomorrow.

But RIGHT NOW.

What are you thinking about RIGHT NOW…

Do you feel the need to worry about something that’s happening later?

But is it really a problem RIGHT NOW?

Do you feel the need to worry about something that happened yesterday?

But is it really a problem RIGHT NOW?

If you are breathing with sufficiently warm clothes on and a roof over your head, then you’re probably doing pretty okay at the moment.  I’m not saying your concerns are baseless or unimportant.  I’m saying that spending your time worrying about them is wasting valuable energy that you could use for loving your family, working on your dreams & goals, or just having some serious playtime (on the pole of course).

What if you practiced living and dancing in this moment, EXACTLY AS YOU ARE?  Without any worries of the past or of the future.  What if you gave yourself the chance to let go of your problems for 5 minutes and just be.

Be your breath.  Be your movement.  Be alive.

You don’t have to prepare for who you are, you can simply be who you are.

Sometimes you need to live as a human being instead of a human doing.

Let go of the past.

Let go of the future.

The more you ask yourself… “What is important to me in this moment?”

…the more calm you will find…
..the more gratitude you will feel…
..the more abundance and joy will permeate your life…

So tonight, don’t get dressed up to dance.  Don’t plan your play list beforehand.  Don’t even decide exactly when you’ll begin your practice.  Walk to your pole when the moment is right (and you’ll know it’s right when you feel that odd pressure in your head that says Gosh, I wish I was pole dancing now), put on the song the seems to pop into your consciousness or under your fingers in your ipod, and dance.

Dance as you were, Dance as you are, Dance as you wish to be.

Knowing that this moment is the most precious one in your life RIGHT NOW.

Because this moment is all you ever have.

How do you find acceptance in the present moment? What other techniques do you use to create flow? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

When there are too many options, too many possibilities, I get overwhelmed and stuck.  Which of the gazillion things that I could choose is the RIGHT one and how do I know for sure? Do I always have to weigh each possibility in disgusting detail?  Do I really have to agonize and worry over every damn little thing in my life?

As a physicist, I know that mankind has made a science out of redefining our infinite world of possibilities using small little ONEs and ZEROs.  Every movie we watch, every blog we read, every song we download is created from boiling this reality down to those two options. It’s not perfect. Computer simulated red will never be as luscious as the flaming red of a real sunset, but I am still grateful for it.

I want to harness this uniquely human power to SIMPLIFY. Because I have questions that I am tired of pondering.  Tired of thinking about.  Tired of being frozen with indecision about instead of moving forward and taking some fucking action.  I have questions that need answers whether the sun sets red, orange, or a deep royal purple (I live in LA, so yes, sometimes it’s purple!)

So, sometimes, I use my pole dancing as a magic eight ball.  You know, those plastic balls filled with inky black water and the little window where your fortune pops up… “My sources say yes” or “Don’t count on it” (in an oh so very scientific fashion).  When my conscious mind refuses to come up with the answers, I can let my pole dancing magic eight ball decide instead.

“But you’re a physicist?” you cry “How can you ignore the entire scientific method?”

Because the magic eight ball I’m about to show you, taps into your unconscious mind.  If your conscious mind is lost, your unconscious mind has the navigation package and it’s desperately trying to tell you to “take a right at the next exit.” But it’s unconscious (by definition), so unless you find a way to tap into it, you won’t hear a damn thing.  All the while it’s screaming…  TURN RIGHT!  TURN RIGHT NOW!

Now stick with me here, because this is the tricky part…..

Become your own Magic Eight Ball

1. Go pick two (or three) colors to represent your options. My favorite scenario is BLACK meaning NO WAY! and WHITE meaning ALL SIGNS POINT TO YES!  (other meanings might be ABSOLUTELY, MY SOURCES SAY NO, or OUTLOOK GOOD. You can even use GREY for REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN LATER)
2. Create a sexy poledancing outfit with your two (or three) colors. In the video I chose a white tank top, white bikini top, black booty shorts, black and white bodystrings, and black platform shoes (see, I told you I used bodystrings ALL THE TIME).
3. Dance and Strip. Yes, you heard me STRIP.  Take off your clothes, but let your unconscious mind decide what pieces to remove and how to remove them. (I did NOT actually remove clothes in the video because it got a little too hot for youtube and I didn’t want to upset your delicate disposition)
4. The color you are wearing more of at the end of your poledancing session is your answer. (I was wearing all BLACK at the end, but just barely, so I got my answer –> NO WAY!  )

Becoming your own magic eight ball means you are trusting your intuition. 

Which is a good thing, because your intuition knows everything you think you know… everything you actually know… a bunch of shit you forgot that you know… and a bunch more shit you don’t even realize that you know.

At the very least, when you are done, you can leave me a comment and say “Yannori, you are full of shit, but I love you anyway.” Because you’re awesome and you roll like that.

How do you tap into your intuition? How do you make a difficult decision? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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This particular question is actually a point on contention between many schools of pole dancing.  So the answer is “It Depends.” (I always hated that particular answer though)

Basically there are 3 different views…

First, there’s the idea that you don’t have to listen to the music at all.

That you should perform whatever trick you want whenever you feel like it (or in a specified routine) but the music doesn’t have to match or even make sense. I’m just going to throw this one against the wall and out of the club. Because as far as I’m concerned, if you don’t even notice the music then you aren’t pole dancing, you’re pole tricking…which is a useful training method but NOT a worthwhile performance technique (okay rant over, sorry)

Second, there’s the premise that you find the “hidden beat” of the song.

I’ve heard this described at the “undercurrent” or the “underlying wave.”  This particular technique is usually used during dance improvisation and in many ways I like it.  It encourages the dancer to focus on not just the beat but also the effect the beat has on her heart, her emotions, and her non-logical, pure response body.

However, I think you can take this idea too far.  To me, the point of dancing is to express your authentic self within the layers of music, within the physical studio space, using the tools and props and world around you.  It’s a different and beautiful way to experience life in the current moment.  And that includes the music you hear playing.

By ignoring the music entirely to focus on your own internal beat, you have stopped dancing and started meditating.  I don’t believe there is anything fundamentally wrong with this, BUT a true exotic dancer knows that her performance must make a connection with the audience.  If you are completely inside your own mind, then the audience is more like a peeping tom than a group of people experiencing your art. (I’ve actually had friends say that they felt like it was rude to watch me dance when I used this particular method)

To ignore the music is to sever your connection with the audience.  And this is never the goal for an exotic dancer.

Lastly, there’s the technique where you dance specifically to the beat of the music you are using.

If you ask a professionally trained dancer, they will most likely say that this method is the only method that makes sense for a performance.  And if we were all classically trained dancers with 15+ years of training in ballet, jazz, and tap, then I’d probably agree.

Because over time, your internal beat becomes automatic whenever the music hits you. Your body already knows that this extension of your arm is perfect for who you are right now and to match the emotional content of the song…. that this invert will feel amazing during a booming creshendo…. That rolling on the floor during the guitar solo makes the most sense within your muscle memory.

This, to me, truly defines performance art.  But it doesn’t happen overnight and you can’t force it.  Let me say that again, you can’t force it.  You can create a routine that hits each beat. You can practice the routine until your feet bleed.  You can perform it flawlessly in front of a starstruck audience (hello So You Think You Can Dance). 

But unless you put your entire spirit into it, there will be something missing.

In the end I believe … An exotic dancer uses the beat as if it was her partner, expanding and contracting against him as the underlying wave calls to her.

Creating a never ending dynamic between his beating heart and her authentic soul.

Which method do you use for performances? And which one do you use when you are alone? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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I first discovered most of these beauties during my monthly forays into the wilds of Hollywood Blvd in downtown Los Angeles. There is a special section just east of Highland (approximately 10 city blocks long) that is filled with tattoo parlous, cheap souvenir shops, tired tourists that wandered too far from Grauman’s Chinese theater, and the absolute best exotic dance clothing and shoe shops on the planet.  Seriously, these places are amazing and the clothing runs from super cheap to super chic.  You can get custom made bikinis for 20 bucks or custom made boots with Swarovski crystals for $1000 and up.  I don’t buy g-strings from anywhere else.

However, there are a couple of online stores where you can procure my favorite pole dance attire as well, so for those of you that don’t have a shopping trip to the city of movie stars planned anytime soon, I’ll include links wherever I can.

1.  Body Strings

I could sing the praises of body strings to the world.  These dirt cheap stretchy lengths of nylon fabric are just the leftover ends of costumes that didn’t make it to the showroom floor.  But you can wrap your legs, arms, torso, or any other exposed body part for a beautiful criss crossing accent of every luscious curve. You can use them to hold up your hair and then seductively set it free during a performance.  I constantly use them to safely secure an annoying pair of platform heels and keep them from shifting during a dance (critical advice if you want to avoid flying stripper shoes, and you do!).  Make sure and get two of each color (they sell them in singles) to have an infinite combination of twisty sexy fun!

2.  Fabric Scarves

I have been using scarves in my pole dancing improvisation since I first started learning this beautiful movement over 6 years ago.  They have the ability to add so many different elements depending on what kind you like and how you use them.  First, just a basic soft silk scarf whether it is long or relatively short can add a splash of color & a flowing element instantly to any dance. I use it to accentuate movements to my audience or tickle my own skin with it’s liquid-like texture.   And of course, you can cover any exposed curves that you wish to use to tease your audience or yourself.  You can even spray it with your favorite perfume to create a deeper emotional connection to your memories through scent.

Oh, and if you ever feel the need to restrain your audience (during a lapdance where he refuses to sit on his hands for example) then the scarf is a perfect way to keep those wandering hands safely tucked away. I’ve even seen boas & neckties used in a similar manner when necessary.  Oh the joy of audience participation!

3.  Boots

Yes, these to me are not just an alternative for shoes.  Although some pole dancers use them during each and every practice session, I consider them a prop that adds an extra bit of sweet, sweet Ginger (my version of the naughty girl in all of us).  First, don’t just throw on a pair and hope that you can dance in them.  Boots require extra caution and plenty of practice to understand how to work with the layer of sticky pleather that can slow down your spins but rocket your climbs & inverts to the level of spiderwoman. I like shiny black thigh highs for nights when I’m feeling powerful and predatory, but a pair of red go-go boots can’t be beat for a stomping good time.

4.  Lace or Mesh CoverUp

If you want to discover the best piece of clothing that adds mystery while keeping the dancer cool and saucy, then pick up one of these. Although they don’t actually hide anything from view, they provide a saucy layer of fabric to slide your hands seductively over your curves and tug & remind your audience of your (lack of) clothing.  And if you choose one that has a silver or metallic thread, you’ll find your body sparkles like a starlet on the dimly lit dance floor.  Plus, you always have the option to remove them if they hamper your movement & toss them at your audience for added effect.

5.  Legwarmers

Alright, I have to admit that some people hate this leftover fashion statement from the Jane Fonda era of exercise, but I am truly a big fan.  Although it does take some extra practice to figure out how to climb and hold advanced inverts while wearing leg warmers, I believe it is worth the effort.  For me, I get the benefit of warm calves that look hot, without having to put on a pair of heels or boots.  Plus, these babies slide.  So all my floor work becomes more fluid, more streamlined, and just more sensual overall.  I feel that legwarmers give me more freedom to move and explore the different textures of dance. Maybe they can do the same for you.

6.  Masks

Ah, the power of anonymity.  I will tell you a secret that I’ve never spoken to a soul before; I have never felt more electric energy coursing through my body than during a masked performance.  Holding your audience in suspense, wondering if you’ll take off the mask and reveal your face (even if they know what you look like) is a invigorating experience that I believe every dancer should have at least once. And Halloween is the perfect chance.  Make sure to pick a mask that is comfortable but won’t fall apart while you slink and slide (venetian masks are perfect for this!).  I prefer ones that only cover my eyes and that tie in the back so I have the choice of exposing my true self or not.  And make sure you avoid masks with too many feathers or sharp corners so that you don’t accidentally catch yourself or distract from your deliciously hidden dance.

7.  Hats

Let me just say that I LOVE HATS.  I have seen hats transform my students from a rocker chick into a tantalizing tease, from a sensual siren into a Betty booty. Everybody dances different when they put on a hat….as long as you remember one little rule — keep the hat on your body or in your peripheral vision.  You want to keep your emotions and your audience focused on how you react to the hat. Does it make you feel flirty to cover you face & your lovely curves?  Does it make you feel strong to look out from underneath the brim and catch someones eye?  Or maybe it’s just one of those dances where you take off everything… Except for the hat!

Try one prop or try them all, and I’m sure you’ll find something that will change (or possibly revolutionize) your pole dancing practice.  Plus, you never know what will spark your creative fire.

Just remember…

YOU connect a series of movements into a dance.

YOU own the authentic mesmerizing sensuality.

YOU hold the key to a powerful expression of life in this moment.

…An accessory is just a little bit of frosting, but YOU take the cake.

PS – The subject & title of this post came from a tweet by the lovely miss Angela (@Angee514)

What’s your favorite pole dancing accessory? What store is your favorite guilty shopping pleasure? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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photo by VDFmotion

Lapdancing, it’s the mysterious private show that happens [booming announcer voice] BEHIND THE WALL in the VIP strip club.  It’s also one of my absolute favorite types of exotic dance.

I’m going to share my secret weapons with you that can help you give a tantalizing, mesmerizing, sensual lapdance.  But first, I want to demystify a few things.  Because giving a great lapdance isn’t as much about a following a set of rules as it is about making the choices that turn you and your partner on.

Lapdancing does not require a special chair

Lazyboy or a recliner; arms or no arms; chair, couch, or bed.  It really doesn’t matter what kind of seating arrangement you choose as long as it’s sturdy enough to hold the weight of two people.  The key point here is that lapdancing requires a LAP and that’s all. (Just check the name if you are fuzzy on this one)

Lapdancing does not require special clothes

You choose how much skin to bare.  You choose when to bare it (or not to bare it at all.) You choose something that makes YOU feel both comfortable and sexy (I said both and I meant both) Do NOT wear a sexy mini-dress and sparkly black knee-high boots unless YOU love them. (and I do)

Lapdancing does not require your corporate weapons, electronic gadgets, or medieval swords & daggers.

Don’t put your BlackBerry on stun–Turn it OFF! (No it’s NOT a good makeshift vibrator) Leave everything in the kitchen that doesn’t accentuate your sensual nature.  Because anything that might take away from you, is just an annoying distraction. YOU are the main event.

Choose a Damn HOT Song

Pick a song that makes your body move. Something that gives you chills and drops you into a luscious state of sensual expression.  Use music that makes your mind and body tingle with excitement. And as long as your partner doesn’t find the song annoying, you can bet he’ll be tingling too.

I like it by Moby Choke me, spank me, pull my hair by Xzbit

Choose a Playful OR KickAss Attitude

I say OR because this is your show.  If you feel sweet and cute and giggly, then be the nice MaryAnn that makes your man ache to brush the hair from your face.  If you feel strong and sexual and powerful, then be the naughty Ginger that brings all the boys to the yard. Just remember that your partner is a companion not your opponent.  Your first lapdance is probably not the time to act out any tie-him-up, tie-him-down fantasies (not without his permission anyway).

Choose a LAP willing to play your game

Communicate everything you need to ensure this dance is fun for both of you. For example, if you don’t want to be touched, ask your partner to sit on his hands.  If you want him to stay quiet, let him know that you’ll only respond to the words “mmm” and “oohhh” for the duration of the dance.  Remember, you WANT to turn him on, so don’t be so strict that you cut off his passion (no beheadings, please!)

So, with all those choices, what’s the magic key to unlock his desires and make a man beg for buttermilk (uh, I mean ask for another lapdance)…

The secret is to Tease him to the edge with the Promise of Desire and (perhaps) the Passion of Fullfillment.

Build excitement with titillation.  Provoke him with sensation and your determination to almost touch.  Almost touch his lips, almost touch his neck, almost touch his inner thigh.  This lapdance is about making your own choices, accepting your own power, and using it to build a deeper connection with your partner.  It’s personal.  It’s private. And it’s sexual.

It’s as easy as 1-2-3-4

1.  Slide up to the LAP
Whether you walk or crawl, sinuously find your way to his lap.  Take your time.  Meander.  There’s no rush when your focus is the tease.  Once you get there, nudge (not shove) his legs open by sliding your knee between his knees and then step into the gap.

2.  Warm up to the LAP
Use slow, luxurious Hurricane Hips or your favorite pelvic circles to get both of you in the mood.  Throw in some booty popping for good measure (using his legs to substitute for a chair back) and taunt him with a Just Missed Kiss.

Just Missed Kiss – drop your eyes to his lips and act like you are going to kiss him. Get so close to his lips that he can feel your soft breath and then, just miss. Divert your lips to one side and slide your cheek along his face. (Oops, better luck next time. Teehee)

3.  Change the view
Turning around while maintaing your hypnotic movement can be a bit tricky, especially if you are wearing a sexy pair of 6 in heels.  Ignore the temptation to throw one leg over his head.  Knocking his block off will seriously fuck up the mood (and you promised you wouldn’t behead him, remember) Instead try an Ocho or a Model Turn.

Ocho – cross your right foot over you left and slowly pivot on the balls of your feet. Let your right hip draw a semicircle until your tushy is directly in front of his face. (location, location, location!) Model Turn - shifting your weight from right foot to left foot while rotating your body 1/4 turn until you are facing away from him. To keep him mesmerized, continue rolling and circling your hips as you turn. (aahh, Houdini would be proud and asking for an encore)

4. Melt into the LAP
Being careful of his dangly bits, sit (yep, sit) directly onto his thighs.  Please, PLEASE, DONT HOVER. (your partner isn’t a public toilet) Lean back into him, giving him both the sensation of warmth from your body and the view of your lovely curves.  Now it’s time for the Shiver Giver.

Shiver Giver – Run your fingertips up his legs (outside for nice girls or inside for naughty girls), his arms, or along his neckline using a the tips of your fingers and a soft side to side motion. As if you were drawing a wave of pleasure on his skin. Instead of thinking “she’s touching me,” he’ll be thinking “Oh God, I hope she touches me there.”

At this point, you’re on your own.  I’m sure it’ll all end with a bang.  (oh my gosh, did I just say that? — Yes, yes I did)

Have you ever given a lapdance, why or why not?  What’s your favorite lapdancing outfit? Share your ideas in the comment section!

Did you read pt 1 of this series?… Find your perfect LAP here!

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10 minutes? 20 minutes? An hour? (WOW!)

In order to have a truly amazing experience every time, I think it’s essential to really develop your stamina. In fact, I think stamina is just as important as your technique and your transitions. (You did know that I’m talking about POLE DANCING, right?) So at the end of almost every warmup, I include some extra songs specifically for this purpose.

I throw off my warmup pants (or strip them off if I’m in the mood) and let my sensual spirit fill the dance floor.  I don’t stop moving until my body feels warm, grounded, and excited about developing a new technique, trying out a new combination, or just building my strength in an advanced trick. It’s a great way to make sure you start every training session with gratitude and joy.

To try it, first you have to pick two songs that entice you to MOVE, twirl, swirl, float and fly!

Then, challenge yourself to drag each extension of your arm, slow down each delicious step, exhale through every luscious invert. Make a point to take this chance to dance slowly.   But… DON’T sacrifice your personal style! Just notice when you rushing into the next movement and consciously choose to take your time.  This isn’t about making yourself dance agonizingly slow (unless that’s your style).  It’s about giving yourself the chance to expand and take ownership of both your dance time and your dance space.

Once you can dance for two whole songs, try to extend it to three.  I promise you’ll love your new found stamina (in more places than just the dance floor)!

Do you prefer long or short dancing sessions? How do use pole dancing to develop stamina & cardio? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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For some reason, I couldn’t figure out how to stop focusing on all my ToDo’s, relax and just be myself.

So during my pole improvisation session I decided to accept all of my “doing” layers and wear them like a badge of honor….

I kept my hair up in a tight bun to represent my working diva self. I kept on the blue tank top that covered my hungry belly while I shopped for groceries. I put on the standard bikini top and leg warmers that I use when I teach a pole session.

And then I waited for the music to lead me…

We Run LA She Wolf Good Girls Go Bad

First I let my mind and body move within all the layers. The dancing felt controlled, contained, and even a little shy.  Then, with each new song, I washed away a layer of ToDo grime. I let my hair down and played with the wild feeling of it whipping around my face.  I stripped off the tank top, transforming it from just a shirt into a sexy skirt, and then simply throwing it away.  I even seductively removed the legwarmers and bikini top (although that is NOT included in the video).

I made space for me by deliberately separating myself from everything that I do. I had to dance for 25 minutes before I remembered

What You Do is Not Who You Are

When you remove varnish layer by layer, you reveal that natural, organic wood beneath.  The imperfect but truly beautiful grain.  So often we forget to strip away all of the layers and just be ourselves. You may live the life of a business executive, of a mother, of a loving wife, of a caring sister….. But there is a deeper core of authenticity waiting below the surface.  And sometimes, when the layers get too heavy to bear, its time to let them slide off you body, and just allow yourself to be.

ps, if you’re having problems hearing the audio, check out the video on my site.

How do you find your authentic self? Have you ever used pole dancing to release your ToDo list worries before? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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In case you haven’t had the privilege of training with Shawn, let me explain what you’ve been missing.  Shawn is an amazing and caring individual who truly believes in the life changing power of AUTHENTIC exotic dance (did you notice my emphasis?) This is a woman who danced for over 15 years as a real stripper, with many of those years at the legendary Crazy Horse Too in Las Vegas, where she was renowned for her stage performances.  She is a classically trained dancer who specializes in fosse jazz, tasteful sensual aerial pole and exotic floorwork, and an awesome passion for the safety of her students.

Shawn has spent the last 6 years developing and teaching her unique brand of PoleCat Power aerial dance progressions and transitions.  Every sexy step in this Slink, Slide, and Melt DVD has been designed for the way a woman’s body moves; including modifications for woman that have knee, lower back, or shoulder injuries.  She can help you feel sexy WHILE developing your strength and skills.  Shawn’s training and friendship changed my life and truly expanded my personal dance style beyond a workout into an art form.  And she can do it for you too!

In fact, I was so excited about Slink, Slide, and Melt, that I actually jumped up and down like a 3 year old when I found out she was filming.  And then I saw the DVD trailer!  Check it out and come right back here for the DVD details plus a great offer for all the ExpressTheSensual.Com subscribers…

Shawn and Carden Films have produced a beautiful HD DVD that showcases the amazing and unique art of Authentic Exotic Dance.  Slink, Slide, and Melt is designed for Every Woman with detailed instructions for over 40 exotic dance moves, modifications for special populations, and gorgeous slow motion HD photography. Whether you want to learn sexy transitions, create a stunning floor routine of pure feminine expression, or just add sensuous floor and wall work to your repertoire, this DVD is for you.  Slink, Slide, and Melt includes:

• Sexy Strutting – Walking the Walk
• Wild Wallwork – Sliding & Rolling with Ease
• Fabulous Floorwork – Becoming One with The Floor
• Creative Crawling – Avoiding the Knees
• Routines, Sequences, & Combinations you can do right away
• Using Clothing & Shoes to YOUR advantage
• Freestyle Performances by Shawn

Plus, a BONUS that no authentic instructional DVD offers right now…

The Doorway Dance

Just watching the raw footage of this Doorway routine convinced me to get a copy of this DVD, so you know it’s fucking good! Shawn promises that by the end of Slink, Slide, & Melt you will be able to EMBRACE, ENCHANT, ENTHRALL, & EMPOWER.

If you are a pole dancer, an aerial acrobat or just ready to trade your boring gym routine for some serious fun, you’ve got to get Slink, Slide and Melt!  So here’s the special deal I promised.

If you order through the BUY NOW link below and include my special offer code, you get 14% off the DVD cover price! Instead of paying $34.95, you get detailed instruction from a world renowned Exotic and Aerial Dance instructor in your living room for $29.95 plus shipping* and handling.  Remember, you can ONLY get this discount through ExpressTheSensual.Com and I don’t know if it’ll last more than a few weeks. Sorry, this deal has expired.  But you can still get Slink, Slide & Melt for the regular price of $34.95 US (plus shipping)! 

So click on the BUY NOW link, and get ready to Slink, Slide, and Melt today!

Slink, Slide, & Melt DVD – Domestic USA	out of stock, check back soon
Slink, Slide, & Melt DVD – International	out of stock, check back soon

Special Offer Code: ETSSSM06

*please allow 4-6weeks delivery

]]> http://www.expressthesensual.com/2009/07/07/slink-slide-melt-with-the-mistress-of-authentic-exotic-dance/feed/ 6 http://www.expressthesensual.com/2009/06/29/defeat-your-dragons-with-sex-appeal/ http://www.expressthesensual.com/2009/06/29/defeat-your-dragons-with-sex-appeal/#comments Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:31:18 +0000 Yannori http://www.expressthesensual.com/?p=869 Some days life just SUCKS.  You try your absolute best, but the world keeps piling on the crap, the constraints, and the accidents of fate that simply aren’t going your way.  Maybe you wore a short skirt to a party on a windy balcony, maybe you broke your favorite pair of heels on a cobblestone sidewalk, or maybe the sprinkler system came on and fried your laptop right before a huge client meeting.

Whatever difficulties you are having, it can feel as if the word “unlucky” is tattooed across your forehead.  Everyone knows you are having a stream of bad luck and there is nothing you can do about it….. RIGHT?

Wrong.  On unlucky days, pull your dragons out of the shadows and into the light. Show the world you aren’t afraid to make mistakes and  discover something new about yourself and your world.  Wear your accidents of fate, like a badge of honor that tells everyone you are finally LIVING instead of being afraid to share your true self. And then, laugh.

Laugh the whole day away. Bad shit is going to happen, so you might as well enjoy the experience, learn, and then laugh it off.  If the wind blows up your skirt, act like Marilyn Monroe the whole night. If your heels break, go barefoot and ask the strongest, sexiest men to carry you. If your laptop gets fried, move the meeting to a poolside resort and throw your laptop in the water to get their attention (check your warranty first though). If you laugh and learn from your dragons, they will gracefully bow at your feet.

Give in to your playful, sensual side and simply ride the day out. Laugh until your sides hurt. Then go home and pole dance until you end up laying on the floor unable to move a muscle. Get it out of your system today and by tomorrow you’ll realize that your “unlucky tattoo” was actually an auspicious dragon of good fortune.

I had to dance for 30 minutes before I defeated my dragons, but it was worth every sweaty second.  BTW, the two songs in this video are Milk by Garbage and Angel of Mine by Newtown Saints.

“Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight”

How do you purge your bad luck? Have you ever had a crappy day that turned into an amazing day? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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One of pole dancing’s best kept secrets is about to show up in your living room. The phenomenal JK is releasing an instructional pole dancing DVD to teach you 20 of her most amazing signature pole tricks in beautiful High Definition detail.

An adventurous aerial dancer, caring pole instructor, adamant pole safety advocate, and total sweetheart, JK has been working with PoleCat Power and Carden Films to bring you some of her most spectacular and rarely seen extreme pole tricks. Just in case you were hiding under a rock last year when JK’s first performance video came out, here it is to refresh your memory…

JK Defies Gravity from Urban Fertility Dancer on Vimeo.

JK’s new DVD, Extreme Pole Work, is designed for the advanced pole dancer with detailed instruction for each of her stunning signature spins, pole tricks, and aerial combinations. This DVD includes:

• Demonstration & detailed explanation of over 20 spectacular and extreme pole tricks (including the trick so amazing it’s only known as The 1:46)
• Prerequisite pole trick information to ensure you are ready to move into Extreme Pole Work
• Physiology, strength and pole safety tips and tricks
• Momentum development on Static vs Spinning Pole
• Advanced pole trick combinations including death defying aerial transitions
• JK’s performance of each trick at full speed and in crisp HD slow motion video

Plus, you’ll get some awesome Bonus features:

• A personal Q&A session with JK
• A stunning Slow Motion montage of every trick
• JK’s Unique and Authentic Pole Dance Performance

I got a sneak peak at this amazing DVD early this week and I was absolutely shocked at the clear HD video detail, structured pole trick break downs, and JK’s signature dance style performance. The HD slow motion montage is worth the DVD price alone (seriously fucking amazing). I love that it was filmed in an authentic Exotic Dance location (PJ’s Entertainment Club) and shows you how JK creates each smooth and sensual pole trick variation step by step. This DVD is honest, powerful, sexy, and showcases JK’s heartfelt instructional technique for every student.

Check out the trailer for JK’s Extreme Pole Work DVD right now and then I’ll tell you the special deal I’ve got for all my ExpressTheSensual.com subscribers…

This DVD is an absolute must have for every advanced pole dancer, but intermediate and beginner dancers will love it too. JK’s performances are inspiring and the pole safety and physiology details are critical for building a strong aerial dance foundation. Personally, I know I’ll be having a Pole Party just so my advanced students and I can watch JK’s long legs do The 1:46 in slow motion HD over and over and over again.

I know you want a copy of JK’s Extreme Pole Work right now, so I’ve managed to get a limited time offer from JK Defies Gravity just for the Express The Sensual pole dance addicts

If you order in the next two weeks using the Buy Now button below and include the following special code in the Notes section, you’ll only pay $29.95 + shipping and handling, instead of paying the regular price of $34.95 (US). That’s over 14% off the DVD cover price! But you’ve got to order JK’s Extreme Pole Work before the official release party on July 12th.

This promotion has expired, but you can still get JK’s Extreme Pole Work DVD for the low price of $34.95 (US).  The reviews are in, and it’s worth every penny!

JK Defies Gravity DVD – Domestic USA	coming soon
JK Defies Gravity DVD – International	coming soon

Special Offer Code: ETSXJK06

It makes you feel sexy

Your husband, fiance, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, fuck buddy will do almost anything to get a private dance from you

You can learn how to sling your g-string across the room with your toes

What first convinced you to learn pole dancing? What is your favorite reason to maintain that pole passion and dance inspiration? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

In particular, if you’ve got a pair of shiny black GoGo boots that have been wasting away in a corner, find those sexy gems and put them on for your weekly flying session, meaning your pole dancing lessons, of course!

GoGo boots are amazing fun to dance in because they give you all the benefits of platform boots and none of the drawbacks.

GoGo Boots, just like platform boots, are usually made of pleather, that awesome shiny material that helps your feet and legs stick to the pole like glue.  They come in every color imaginable and in a variety of heel sizes, from 1 inch up to 3.5 or even 4 inches, so they make your legs look sexy and show off your curvy feminine thighs at the same time.

On the other hand, platform boots have a hard thick sole that can be difficult for balance, pivot turns, and stability when landing a fast spin (see, it IS a FLYING lesson   However, GoGo boots don’t have these drawbacks.  Because the sole of the GoGo boot is thin, you can easily point your toes during pivot turns and spin transitions, giving you the ability to control your landing and twirls into the next movement.  (I hope you’re using your abs too!)

It is so easy to maintain your balance while strutting your sexy walk or using your hips to imply naughty, naughty thoughts.

Check out my youtube video below and you’ll see how much fun I had dancing in GoGo boots.  They gave me the freedom to add in more sensual floorwork, while still giving me the grip I love for inverted pole dancing moves.

Have you ever pole danced in a pair of GoGo boots? How did it effect your movement & emotional response? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

So pick up a pair of tall platforms (with a cone heel if you’re a new pole dancer) or a pair of slick red thigh high boots (Thats HOT!) and strut your stuff.  Remember to practice walking in any new pair of shoes first.

Let the slow, sensual dancing begin!

PS, I’m still in love (hmm or lust ) with A Perfect Circle. So this weeks PoDaViAs is performed to “Hollow” & “Brena.”  You can check out the whole album below!

Do you prefer Heavy Heels, Light Heels, or no heels at all? Do shoes slow down your dancing? Share your ideas in the comment section!

If you enjoyed the article, please subscribe to ExpressTheSensual.com and share it with your friends using the Share & Enjoy social bookmarking sites. Thank you for your support!

I’ve got the answer.  The secret to sexy, powerful abs that WILL give you a beautiful, flowing, seamless invert is something called the Full Hurricane.  This awesome and deeply sensual movement shares its roots with every inherently feminine dancing style, whether its Belly Dancing, African Dance, or Exotic Stripping.  It is undeniably erotic, engaging, and has plenty of playful variations (which I’ll talk about in a minute).

“Todo, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore” – Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz

Before you can learn the Full Hurricane, you’ve got to start developing your abdominal and chest muscle control.  Put on some hot yoga pants and a sexy tank top, find a full length mirror, and practice the exercises below.  You’ll have an irresistible Full Hurricane & be well on your way to a fluid, strong invert in no time.

Pelvic Isolations & Circles

First, we need to mark out the four pelvic points.  Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent, and your tush relaxed. We’ll call this the neutral position.   Avoid squeezing your ass.  Watch out for flying monkeys! Squeezing your ass doesn’t make it look pretty.  It actually accentuates the cellulite that every woman hates, so don’t do it when you dance.

Lets start with the Four Pelvic Isolations…

Dorothy: Lions? Scarecrow: And tigers? Tin Woodsman: And bears. Dorothy: Oh my!                – from the Wizard of Oz

• Point 1 (forward): Put your hands on your hips and tuck your pelvis under.  This means you contract your abs strongly and pretend you are scooping ice cream with your pelvis.
• Point 3 (back): Now, relax back to neutral, and then stick your tush out.  Keep your knees bent to protect your lower back. (PS, I’m not crazy.  I know point 2 comes after point 1, but it’ll all make sense to you in a minute)
• Point 2 (right hip): Again, relax back to neutral, and then straighten your right knee while bending the left knee.  You should feel your right side abdominals contracting.  This will lift the right hip higher than the left hip. (still not crazy, just remember that )
• Point 4 (left hip): One last time, relax back to neutral.  Straighten your left knee while bending your right knee.  Again, feel the strong contraction in your left side abominals.  Now your left hip is higher than your right hip.
• Create a circle: Simply connect the points in order. Point 1, tuck the pelvis.  Point 2, right hip up. Point 3, the booty lifts back.  Point 4, left hip up.

(hint, hit the play button to hear a preview)

• Throw on some slow dancing tunes like Orestes by A Perfect Circle , #1 Crush by Garbage , Think Twice by Groove Armada and Slept So Long off the Queen of the Dead soundtrack .  This is not the time for “Somewhere over the Rainbow”.
  
• Practice moving from one point to the next: Make the movement as smooth as possible. It’ll feel like your hips are rolling like a quarter or a hula hoop when it lands on the floor.  Remember to avoid those flying monkeys and keep your ass relaxed.

A Mini Hurricane

In that last step, you’ve already started a mini-Hurricane.  As you practice your pelvic circles let your chest undulate with your hips. When the right hip lifts up, let the left shoulder drop.  When the left hip lifts up, let the right shoulder drop.  Add in your hands, by placing them on your body and letting them roam over your curves.  Sliding across your hips or maybe tugging on your hair a little.  You’ll feel your spine become fluid, liquid, playful. I know you can feel it now!

Just to make sure you don’t get too one sided, practice the four points in the opposite order.  Point 4, left hip up. Point 3, the booty lifts back.  Point 2, right hip up.  Point 1, tuck the pelvis.  When you’ve got the hang of it, smooth out your circle. Now, practice circling one direction a few times, and then going back in the opposite way. Back and forth, around and around.  You’ve got it!

“It’s a twister! It’s a twister!” -Zeke from The Wizard of Oz

Now, lets take your Hurricane and make it irresistible!  Starting in neutral position, lift your right heel off the ground, balancing on the ball of the right foot, and shift 2/3 of your weight toward the left foot.  You may have to bend your knees a little bit deeper to keep a stable center.  This requires strong core muscles too, so don’t cheat!  Now, practice your four points again, and whenever you are ready, start your mini-Hurricane.

Practice this on the other side.  Starting from neutral position, lift your left heel off the ground, balancing on the ball of the left foot, and shift 2/3 of your weight toward the right foot.  Then add in the mini-Hurricane.

The Full Hurricane

Okay, here’s the last part.  Once you are comfortable balancing your mini-Hurricane while on the ball of one foot, I want you to try shifting your weight slowly from one side to the other, while also switching your feet.  So, start on the ball of the right foot, drop that heel to the floor but keep doing the mini-Hurricane, and then come onto the ball of the left foot.

Take it slow. Slow is sexy, so there’s no need to rush. Listen to some kick ass tunes and keep your body undulating in The Full Hurricane movement. As The Wicked Witch of the West said “I’m melting!  I’m melting!”

“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain” -Wizard of Oz

Okay, I know that felt awesome, but you also want to invert right?  So, here’s how this helps!  Controlled inverting requires that you are capable of executing an abdominal contraction strong enough to curl your hips and knees upward toward your shoulders.  The Hurricane develops your core strength and the muscle memory to make inverting easier.

The cool thing, is that once your body starts to get the hang of contracting your abs strongly, you can set it on autopilot.  Your muscles actually have a memory for movements that you repeat over and over again. Muscle memory is why it’s easier to find the light switches in your house as compared to someone else’s house.  Your hands remember the movement from the countless times you’ve flipped on the switch.

The Hurricane and repeated pelvic tucks give your abs tons of practice by simulating an invert without ever leaving the floor.  And without over taxing the muscle so you can practice it every day.  Plus, the Hurricane feels phenomenal and just looks HOT!

Oh, Auntie Em – there’s no place like home! -Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz

If you need more assistance with the Hurricane movement you can contact me for Pole Dancing Classes in the Los Angeles/Long Beach area, Pole Dancing Private Session (local & by Skype), or check out my Online Classes.

What other playful ways to you use to build your core strength? How did your body feel after trying this exercise? Share your ideas in the comment section!

If you enjoyed the article, please subscribe to ExpressTheSensual.com and share it with your friends using the Share & Enjoy social bookmarking sites. Thank you for your support!

Make A Wish

You’re not alone.  Many of my beginner students are afraid to let go of their inhibitions and express their sensual nature through movement.  And one of my readers recently asked “I was wondering if you had any advise on getting over the whole embarrassing/shy thing.”

Happily, overcoming your performance anxiety is absolutely possible for everyone. And the best part is that, the confidence you gain while dancing will propagate into every aspect of your life. But, you will have to face a fear or two.  Don’t worry.  Keep reading and you’ll find plenty of tools to help you own the dance floor in almost any situation.

These Boots Were Made For Walking

The first thing I teach in every class is how to walk.   And the reason is because I want you to have the ability to feel like the sexy, powerful, woman that you are.  I want you to turn it on and off at will.  Literally.

I encourage my students to take their “sexy” out for a walk in a public place. Strolling along the sidewalk as they usually do, and then turning on the charm so to speak.  Try it and you’ll be amazed at the positive reactions you receive and how vibrant you feel.

To turn on your “sexy” walk you simply need to remember four little words…

SLOW SLINK SLIDE SMILE

1. Slow - Take your time.  Charismatic woman usually aren’t in a rush to get somewhere.  Let you body move with purpose and intention, staying conscious of each step along your inner and outer path.

2.  Slink – Allow your hips to sway and your body to curve slightly while you walk.  According to “The Definitive Book of Body Language,” men love a 67-80% hip-to-waist ratio.  But you don’t actually have to have that ratio to be alluring.  By tilting your pelvis as you walk, you automatically create the perfect hip-to-waist ratio.  Plus, if you sway your torso, you will give the impression of flexibility.  And both sexes find flexibility attractive in a mate.

3. Slide - As you take each step, slightly drag the big toe or inside of your shoe along the ground.  This forces you to slow down, and makes your legs look longer.  Extending your legs is a powerful nonverbal signal that indicates you are a mature passionate woman .

4.  Smile – A small, tight lipped smile is a submissive gesture that says “I have a secret.”  If you pair this with a slight down tilt to the head as you look up, it makes men want to protect you and woman want to be you.

To practice these steps, turn on some stimulating music and strut your stuff in front of a mirror.  It’s important to be able to look yourself in the eye and feel the seductive energy coming off your body. If you feel it, so will everyone else. Once you’ve mastered the sexy walk both in the mirror and in public, then you’re ready to begin shedding your performance anxiety.

Here are two major milestones required to help you dance with self confidence.

All Mine

The first milestone is to remember that you own the stage. At this moment, anyone watching has come here to see you.  Not the girl before you.  Not the girl after you.  Not the pole or the chair or any other props you might be using.  You.

That means you are in control.  Don’t downplay this control and don’t ignore it. Pick music, sexy shoes, clothes, and any other props that make you feel empowered… and by that I mean HOT.

Maintain that control.  Don’t let the attention of your audience wander.  Keep it focused on you for your entire dance.  If you’re wearing shoes, stamp your feet to make a loud noise.  Add in some twirls to automatically cause their eyes to trace your movements.  Go extra slow to drag out anything scintillating and force them to feel antic………….pation.

If Tha Mood

The second milestone is a little bit tricky.  And by that, I mean you have to make a choice.  Do you want to notice your audience or do you want to ignore them? Each choice will cause your audience to react in a different manner.

If you ignore your audience, they will feel like they are spying.  They may feel guilty while watching you but unable to stop as you lead them through an exhilarating secret moment. This is the easiest method, but can sometimes backfire if you don’t allow some playfulness to show through.  The audience must believe that you are giving them this glimpse of your own free will.  If they believe you don’t want to be there, they will notice this negative emotion instead of your beautiful movement.

Alternatively, if you pay attention to your audience, they will feel as if they are participating in the dance. As if you are playing with their emotions.  This method requires that you use the SMILE you learned in the previous exercise and make eye contact.  Even if it’s only for a moment.  As you catch someone’s eye think “this is my stage”, “I am beautiful”, or “I feel amazing.”  Besides being the absolute truth, these thoughts will send a strong vibration throughout your audience and fill you with courage.

What the Fuck is LadyLike

With each performance, whether its for your class or at a pole showcase, you’ll feel the anxiety fade.  By facing this fear, you will actually know more about your inner self and learn to express that feminine fire in your everyday life. You’ll discover that it is better to laugh at your small mistakes and simply stretch through them playfully.  85% of the time your audience won’t notice the mistake anyway, and 10% of the time they’ll think you did it on purpose.

The Power is yours already, you simply have to accept it.

Little Johnny & Jane are playing in the garden when they begin having an argument over whether girls are better than boys.  Johnny pulls down his pants and says “Boys are better than girls ‘cos you don’t have one of these!” Jane bursts out crying because she knows she doesn’t have one of those. She rushes inside to her mother and a little while later comes back outside with a huge grin on her face.  “My mom says girls are better than boys,” she says with confidence. “Are not” says the boy, “You haven’t got one of these.” Jane looks at him, raises her skirt and pulls down her panties.  “My mom says that as long as I have one of these, I can have one of those anytime I want.”

How do you eliminate shyness? Do you enjoy performing for your class or for groups? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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