Today I was reminded of how critical it is to pay attention to all the stuff you actually give a shit about. Otherwise you miss all the phenomenal experiences that life is trying to give you. (because sometimes it’s difficult to figure out what YOU care about when your boss, your peers, and the TV are demanding you do totally different things) So how do you know what is really important and what’s just bullshit?
I started my day off by sharing this on Facebook:
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I’m going to quietly grmble in my cubicle this morning. :S (I couldn’t even manage to spell “grumble”)
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…and ended it by celebrating an evening filled with stable inverted pressaways. YIPEE!
When I sat down at my desk at 8am today, I was pissed off, frustrated, depressed, and absolutely, completely, totally stuck. I felt trapped by my own life and so very tired of struggling to understand why, why, why I couldn’t stop cockblocking my own success (yes, I know I don’t have a cock and I wasn’t trying to get laid, but just go with me here). I was disappointed that I wasn’t meeting my daily writing quota (I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year), that I hadn’t posted anything to this blog or my other blog in 5 or 6 days, and that I kept falling asleep in my cubicle (at 8am in the morning!) because I was so fucking exhausted.
So what the hell do you do when when you keep hitting the same wall of frustration over and over again? What do you do when you’re seriously stuck in a funk and can’t shake loose?
First, stop trying to use logic to get out of it. If logic was going to work, you’d have found the answer days, weeks, or months ago…
You need an inspiration!
Luckily, you already have a phenomenal technique to create an AHA moment…
All you need is to get your conscious mind to go to sleep and give your creative muse a safe place to explore. Meaning you’ve got to shed some of those layers of assumptions, baggage, and bullshit that you gathered as a grownup…Give your inner child a game to play.. And show her an awesome playground preferably with a jungle gym. Psst THIS IS WHERE POLE DANCING COMES INTO THE PICTURE.
Your Body In Motion…
Drive home from work, stumble in the front door, banish everyone from the pole room for at least 20 minutes, throw on the playlist that exemplifies your emotional funk, and peel away your inhibitions.
Pick music that makes you feel grumpy, or sad, or predatory… but only if you actually feel that way. Don’t change out of your work clothes. STRIP out of your work clothes. Let each layer of your emotional wall disappear as each song disappears.
Ride the wave of your own anger, your own sadness, your own angst until you can’t tell the difference between the beat of the drum and the beat of your heart. (see that upside down lady on the right with the goofy happy smile… THAT’S ME!)
Once you feel your energy start to wane, allow you body to slow down. Let the new wave of exhaustion set in as your dance moves away from the pole and onto the floor. Until finally there is only your breath.
Your Body At Rest…
Inhale that next breath, get out your journal (or a piece of paper) and write the answer to these four questions. They are designed to pull the answers to any difficult problem out of your own unconscious mind. (PS – I’ve included my own answers but not the secret decoder ring, so if anything seems cryptic that’s because my muse likes to speak in alien languages)
Q1: What do I need right now?
My Answer: Sleep glorious sleep and to stop pushing myself. To stop second guessing and ignoring my own desires, wants, and opinions. Because all I’m doing is wasting energy by “should”ing all over myself (shoulding is when you tell yourself that you “should, must, have to” do something instead of allowing yourself to consciously choose). I work for 9hrs and come home full of resistance. I don’t feel like working on any of my real passions until I can drain that resistance away.
Q2. What are the things in my life that feel right, that feel easy, that feel like me?
My Answer: my five wishes, my writing career, spending time with J, writing fiction, writing sensually, writing erotica, connecting to my passions through ExpressTheSensual, pole dancing, reading, working with JBT, hanging out with the important people that I care about, feeling love, feeling truth, feeling and expressing my freedom to choose my life and my reality with each breath, to know and experience this moment exactly as it is…
Q3. What are the things in my life that feel wrong, that feel hard, that don’t feel like me?
My Answer: driving to work, engineering, aerospace, my day job, being a tech writer, worrying about NOT writing, listening to the people that tell me I need to do this – buy that – believe in their miracle product or end up being a dumb ignorant jackass, feeling like a coward, feeling like I have to do EVERYTHING right now, guilt for doing it wrong, guilt for not doing it before, guilt, guilt, guilt.
Q4. What do I forget to tell myself?
My Answer: That even if I feel like I should do everything, I really don’t need to do everything. That I can just let go of all the shit that I don’t want and spend my precious time, energy, and joy building my reality around all the awesome shit that I do want. To focus on my passion and my purpose. To know that I have a choice and that I have the ability to choose differently as each moment arrives. Then, my path will stop feeling sticky and I’ll stop feeling trapped. (At this point angels descended, birds sang, and an intense desire to dance again hit me)
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It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.” –Picasso
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AHA!
Try this and you’ll discover what I did. Your REAL PRIORITIES will suddenly be laid out in front of you in such vivid detail that you can’t ignore them anymore. Accept what is critical to you and then make that the most important part of your day.
Don’t just write down the essentials of your answer. Don’t just pay them lip service. Make choices that reflect YOUR priorities. Define your goals and believe in them.
A good friend once told me “Don’t die with your music still in you!” Break down your walls by listening to your passions. Discover your bare essentials, and share your rapture with the world.
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PS…these questions were inspired by a post by Havi Brooks, who you should be reading if you love kooky, fun, and awesome all rolled into one lady…and her duck Selma. Share your ideas in the comment section! |
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Have you ever noticed how much we all tend to focus on the mistakes we have made, or the problems we might face. 
You don’t have to prepare for who you are, you can simply be who you are. 
