I’ve spent the last 6 months in a partial Pole coma.  I pulled back from the glittering visions of pole performance after pole performance.  I stopped going to conferences and competitions.  I stopped watching hours of pole dancing on youtube.  I stopped paying attention to who was opening up which studio where.   I also almost stopped teaching completely, although a couple of my die hard students refused to let me go.  (Thanks ladies, you know who you are) All because I didn’t want to deal with the intense drama anymore.

I have felt so blessed to see the awesome art of pole dance grow and blossom from a fire in a few woman’s beautiful bellies into a fabulous movement…. but when it transformed into an exercise industry, I felt a little betrayed.  As if the love and attention I’d showered on it was being thrown away.  I watched, with fear, as pole dancing moved from a shared experience between friends into hidden pockets of sometimes vicious fights between jealous cliques. Cliques I didn’t want any part of but couldn’t seem to ignore.  (I’ve never been much of a joiner).

You already know that I wholeheartedly believe and encourage the different styles of pole dancing.  I’ve got my own opinions about teaching methods, pole dance, pole fitness, exotic dance, and being a woman in general.  Obviously I’ve voiced some of these ( Pol’ympics, Pole Dance vs Pole Tricks, Why The Other Side is a Pain in My Ass).  But it makes me very angry when I see individuals or groups acting as if they invented everything related to pole and that their way is the only way. As if pole dancing doesn’t have a rich and awesome history from every walk of life.

Can we really deny that the pole dancing we all enjoy today came from belly dancing, yoga, circus and most importantly stripping? Yes, I said the dreaded S word– STRIPPING. You know, where women take their clothes off in a sensual manner for money. Are we really so frightened of our own vagina that we have to pretend pole dancing doesn’t have a sexual undertone? Are we really going to pretend that a shiny metal pole doesn’t remind anybody of a man’s tallywhacker?  Not even a little bit?

I’m not saying you HAVE to dance sexually.  I’m not saying that you HAVE to take off your clothes either.  I’m saying that we need to stop undervaluing an entire part of our collective woman’s history, and celebrate the beautiful pole dancing art form that came from it. We don’t have to belittle our sensuality and our sex to bring pole dancing into the mainstream world.

Secondly, do we really believe that only one person discovered all the varied and beautiful tricks that we perform with our shiny poles, and hence only one person should get to name that trick for the rest of us? (I understand having a common language, but it doesn’t mean this name is THE ONLY NAME) Can we honestly say that there is only one way to perform or teach a trick?  Should every woman ignore the length of her arms & legs, avoid the gracious curve of her hips, or beat herself up over the size of her thighs & booty?  Does every woman really have to torture herself to get into the trick of the week instead of finding the movement, transitions, and tricks that complement her body and her style?

As a teacher, this one seriously pisses me off.  Personally, I believe that there are many performance level tricks that should never be taught in a regular pole studio group class environment.  They are too dangerous and too damaging to the body unless the student’s aspirations are to compete and perform at a professional level.  But ignoring that, I believe it is critical that students understand that every woman’s body is different.  Some of us have large hips, some of us have large breasts, some of us have small feet and short legs.  Physically (and by that I mean the Laws Of Physics), this changes the way we have to balance our body and grip the pole.

We shouldn’t belittle or demean ourselves if we can’t do a specific trick exactly like HER (meaning whichever phenomenal pole performer you are watching at the moment).  We should celebrate it.  Instead, try to be playful and joyful as you experiment with the different ways your body can move.  I love helping a student tweak a trick until it clicks,  and she finally finds a way that works for her. It’s as if her body heaves a sigh of relief and her entire movement changes from challenged to blissful.  Don’t force yourself into the “Perfect Trick” (a statistically impossible falsehood) and deny the experience of your body in luscious movement and harmony.

Grow beyond your own boundaries and expand your strength and skills, but do it your way.  Don’t let the cliques or drama queens of pole, force you to betray your own bliss, your honest and authentic sensuality as a woman and as a pole dancer.  Let them know you’re not buying their Bullshit anymore.

Don’t wear the red scrunchie! Don’t drink the drano!

Your body is the temple where your soul abides. Use pole dancing to express your authentic sensuality as a woman, to cherish your inherent individuality while being exactly who you are right now,  to move and be and live as your true heart desires. And you can bet, we’ll all be there, cheering you on!

Does the sensual aspect of pole dancing turn you on or off? How do you feel about pole cliques? Please share your opinions in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!