Last night, I put on my thigh high zebra socks, a teeny tiny skirt and matching triangle bikini top.  I slid and dragged, lifted and popped, circled and shook — until the air shimmered with my warm breath.  The room was dark, tinged with red.  The music was heavy, beating with the rhythm of the earth and my heart.  The pole was shiny and glorious, as it should be.

The rest of the world fell away.  No more worries.  No more bills.  No more work.  No more drama or bullshit.  Just me and the heat of the moment.

The where, the when, the how, and especially the why — don’t apply anymore.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This is my time to tease life into being. A time when my body knows exactly what to do and my brain disappears in mindless movement.  It’s my time to be a woman filled with soft thoughts.  To be a rocker chick who just needs to shake her hair.  Eventually, time disappears, lost in translation between body, soul, and dance.

I let my toes drag and take a step, shifting my weight to settle against the walls.  Slowly, slowly, letting my body drip down to the floor.  I move along every surface, letting my fingers barely touch the edges.  I paint the room with my essence and settle into my true self.  It feels as if the dance becomes me and we disappear into each other.

Sensual dance arouses your true self out of it’s logic bound cage.

You feel compelled to explore the world around you, though sensation, through experience, through sound and motion.  Without the prison of thought, life becomes an infinite moment extending out for eternity, with the joy of your senses to guide you step by step.  You realize that you can’t force your sensual nature, you must tease and tickle it, hold it in rapture with a nuzzle and a wink.  If you are willing, you can open your body to the dark places in order to find the light within.  It’s hiding because it likes to play, counting the moments until you find it, with a delicious pounce and a barrage of giggles.

You can’t depend on someone else to discover your sensual self.

It’s a game where nobody but you knows the rules.

Anyone can show you the technique. Anyone can demonstrate the trick. Anyone can direct your body and guide your thoughts…. but only you can accept the emotions that arise.  The power of life is to show you the puzzle and ask if you wish to solve it.  It takes courage to embrace and accept every part of your true self because there will always be parts that you don’t know…. yet.

You can’t know the future.  You can only see the glimmer of your soul when you let go of the past, and give in to the full experience of this moment.

What are you waiting for?

This is your personal invitation to dance, to live, to beckon and blow kisses in the wind, to tease the world until it gives you exactly what you want.

It’s time to throw on your silky thigh high nylons, your red heels, or nothing at all and wink back.   It’s time to dance, NOW!

How do you tap into your sensual nature & what does it feel like? Please share your opinions in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

I’m learning to fly, but I ain’t got wings Coming down is the hardest thing

Yes, I am a child of the 80s & 90s, but more importantly (and less age related), I was thinking of how luscious it felt to fly around my pole for the first time (and every time thereafter).  I remembered how much time I spent trying to force something that now feels effortless and filled with joy. Before, I would fight through my entire practice session, kicking and jumping into my flying tricks (a painful & damaging mistake)… with the result that I looked more like a fish flailing wildly through the air, instead of the beautiful undulating ribbon of a woman’s body that I envisioned.

Now, I happily take flight as gravity begs for mercy (depending slightly on pole grip).  But I feel a little sorrow when I think of how much energy I wasted frowning, stomping in frustration, and soothing the never ending bruises from bashing the pole in my arm, back, or butt AGAIN.

And I want to save you that frustration if I can.  Needless to say, flying is different depending upon the specific trick, whether its a one handed front hook, a reverse plank, or a flying dragon… But let’s consider it from both a physical and a philosophical viewpoint.

Physically, you need strength and lots of it.

To fly, you need strength to hold your shoulders down.  Strength to support your body with your rhomboids.  Strength to maintain a solid abdominal core that protects your spine while your body swirls and curves around the pole.

You also need control.  Control in your hands (because the death grip you’re using now is only going to strain your forearms).  Control of your hips so you know when to sweep your legs and when to stop.  And control of your fear.  Because fear is the little death that kills your dreams slowly. Fear wants to be the star of YOUR show.  But, YOU are the main attraction here.  Your fear isn’t even the understudy.

Accept your fear, but don’t be impressed by it, and it will dissolve into the background.

Your instructor should be able to help you with everything physically.  Whether you are working with a live person or a video, she should address all of your questions about technique, strength, and control.  Plus, she must discuss fear; how to recognize it and how to work beyond it.

Because, You won’t learn to fly until you realize you can.

Philosophically you need to release the outer world and become comfortable with your inner world…(Um, what the hell does that mean?!)

Consider a bird in flight.  As a bird begins to fly, it flaps it’s wings with strength, control, and technique.  Then it spreads it’s wings as far as it can and lets go.  It doesn’t fight the air currents, it finds the air currents and glides on them. Allowing knowledge and instinct to work together in harmony. The bird in flight recognizes the outer world (air, wind speed, height, etc) and rests in the deep seated internal belief that it has flown before and it can fly again.

You need the same belief.  The funny thing is, I know how close you are to flying right now.  It’s moments away, locked in your mind behind your fears.  Maybe you need to polish your control or build your strength a little more… but once you start to believe in yourself– strength, control, technique and flight will be close behind.

But you can’t force yourself to believe, because resistance only creates more resistance.

So what can you do?

You can pretend you believe until you convince yourself (not my favorite method, but some people have success with this one) or

You can recognize and celebrate every small step you take.  (Progress is progress whether your inner critic likes it or not.  And every small step proves that if you continue to follow the path you’re on, flying is an eventuality) or

You can just say fuck it.

You can set aside an hour to dance with joy and stop worrying whether or not flying tricks are in your future.  You can enjoy spending time with your shiny pole, knowing that you are a woman, tits to toes.  You can start giving in to the sensual nature in your heart.  You can start touching that inner world, feeling the comfort and freedom of resting within yourself, being whoever you are in that single, perfect moment. You can experiment with the external world of control, strength, and technique and simply invite your soul to play along.

Practice is what you do with your body, while your mind and soul learn to fly beyond your fears.

Are you ready to soar?

How did you overcome your fear of flying? What’s your favorite flying trick? Please share your opinions in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

In an effort to understand both sides of the Pol’ympics Debate, I decided to compile a list of the related articles that were written by people WITHIN our pole dancing community.  I ignored all articles outside our community, whether they were pro or con Pole Dancing in the Olympics, simply because the majority of them were either general news, studio promotion articles, or derogatory to pole dancing in any form.

What I found is rather surprising.  Although many people feel strongly about this topic, there are very few people who are speaking about it publicly.  Most articles for Pole Dancing in the Olympics were created either within one of the pole dancing federations or by a journalist who had read the petition.  What I have NOT found is instructors and performers giving THEIR passionate reasons for promoting pole dancing in the Olympics. This obviously concerns me.

I feel VERY strongly about this art form.  I feel VERY strongly about how it is portrayed in the media.  I know I’m not alone in these feelings of passion and concern (as evidenced by the reported 4000 petition signatures).  I certainly see other Pole Leaders speaking publicly about why they DON’T want Pole Dancing in the Olympics.  But, why can’t I find the impassioned blogs of those who DO want Pole Dancing in the Olympics?

Yes, I see the petitions … Yes, I see the politically correct documents… Yes, I see the press releases.  I want to understand your opinion, but more importantly, I want to hear it without the legal mumbo jumbo and PR material.  How can the Pole Associations expect to develop or standardize the pole dancing industry if they aren’t speaking to US, the pole dancers? More importantly, how will society (& the Olympic committee) respond to a petition when there is little to no PUBLIC discussion within our community?

Forget about the Olympics for a minute.  Many pole dancing associations are hoping to standardize pole trick names and develop pole safety regulations.  But how are you going to explain your reasons for defining one trick as a fireman spin instead of a skater spin?  How are you going to convince me to use a 4 inch thick pole mat instead of the aerial & gymnastic standard 6 inch thick mat?

How are these Pole Leaders going to communicate and discuss their platform or their opinions to the pole dancing community? I WANT to know the awesome ideas you have for developing, changing, maybe even revolutionizing The Art of Pole Dancing.  And I want to have a healthy, open debate about it.

So, whether you are For Pole Dancing in the Olympics, Against Pole Dancing in the Olympics, or On The Fence… if you send me a link to your blog with your Pol’ympic opinion (not an article written by a journalist please) then I’ll post it here.

I applaud those pole leaders who have posted their opinion no matter which side of the debate they are on.  My goal with this article is to encourage this discussion in an effort to build a platform of open communication… because Pole & Exotic Dance is a very young industry (compared to gymnastics, aerial, ballet, bellydance, etc.) and we’ve got a LOT to talk about. We’re all listening….

For Pole Dancing in the Olympics

• KT Coates – Pole Dancing in the Olympics
• Pole in the Olympics Teaser video – Pole in The Olympics
• Pole Fitness Association -  Olympic Effort
• Interview of Collette Kakuk – Pole Dancing Will Need a Makeover for the Olympics
• Kylea Killeen – Pole Dancing in the Olympics
  

Against Pole Dancing in the Olympics

• Jamilla Deville – Polympics
• Adam Jay – Pole Dancing in the Olympics
• Bubble & Facebook group manifesto – Pole Dancers who DON’T want Pole to be in the Olympics
• and my own article – No, I won’t sign your Pol’ympics Petition
• Kristen (Dolphin Dance) – Pole “Dance” in the Olympics

On The Fence

• Claire Griffin Sterrett – Olympic Size Debate
• PoleSkivvies – Pole Dancing in the Olympics
• Polespection by Journey – Olympics???
• Lori Meyers – Weighing in on the Debate
• Climb & Spin – Pole Dancing In the Olympics? Yay or Nay?
  

BTW, if you want to see some of the non-pole blogs I didn’t include because they were derogatory check out this link.  I caution you that many of these bloggers don’t understand our industry or our art form AT ALL.  But I’m including the link to be complete.

Please share your (respectful and honest) opinions in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

Ladies, you know I love the art of pole dancing, the delicious joy of moving a sensuous curvy feminine body.  But I cannot and will not sign or support Pole Dancing in the Olympics. You can throw sticks and stones if you disagree, but names will never hurt me.

Truly, I can’t understand why our community feels the need to “legitimize” pole dancing as a sport.  Pole dancing is about reconnecting with our lost femininity.  It’s about discovering that we don’t need to be afraid of the natural curves of our body.  It’s about learning and expressing our true sensual style in a safe and caring environment. When we each discovered pole dancing, something about this movement captured our hearts and titillated our senses.  I know the ladies who created this petition understand that, but I really don’t see how developing it into an Olympic sport will maintain that passionate spirit.

Why must pole dancing be “legitimized?”  Is the passion and intensity you feel while dancing “legitimate”?  Is the stretch you feel in your legs and back as you invert & brush your hand across your hips a luscious expression of your life… or is it “legitimate”?  I don’t care if society defines it as “legitimate”…when I dance, I feel what I feel.   I understand why the world of corporations and bureaucracy needs legitimate documents, legitimate processes, and legitimate products…..  but we don’t need that kind of distinction here.

In fact, I feel a certain amount of anger that someone might take this beautiful art form and scrub it of it’s sensual feminine components — Because that is the only way it will be accepted by the Olympic masses.  No more heels, no more booty shorts, no more bodystrings.   No more pelvic circles or hair whipping.  And I’m sure the Olympic panel won’t allow you to let your fingers glide along your curves either.  God forbid you touch your own body!

Perhaps the pole community is trying to find a way to expose more people to our beautiful art form?  But, most pole studios only allow students that are 18 years and older for a reason.  You can’t ignore the roots of this dance, which come from aerial, acrobatics, circus, bellydance, and STRIPPING. I’m not ashamed of those roots and I don’t want to remove the flavor and style that those roots impart.  I want to share it with others BECAUSE of that fabulous flavor and sexy style.

Maybe I feel this way because I’m a pole DANCER instead of a pole TRICKSTER…. Because I focus on the feminine, sensual, dance aspect of this beautiful art form instead of it’s athletic/gymnastic aspects…. Because I prefer continuous movement that celebrates the seamless transitions and emotional expression of life just as much as the gorgeous variety of tricks.

Would you call Cirque Du Soleil a sport?  Would you call Ballet a sport? Would you call BellyDance a sport?  Or would you need them “legitimized” as a sport?  I would call them art.  The expression of art is about how it makes the artist and the audience feel — not about how many points the artist can earn.

Obviously, gymnastics is defined as a sport. And if all they want is to take the gymnastic aspect of pole dancing into the Olympics, then I wish them luck.  But, this will completely take the DANCE out of it; and I respectfully request that they don’t call it pole DANCING anymore.  Call it Pole Gymnastics or Gymnastics Pole.  A little vocabulary change could make a big difference.

I realize I’m a small voice in a minority here, and my interest isn’t to incite a flame war on my blog.  I very much understand why other pole dancers are trying to share our movement with the world, I just don’t agree with the way they wish to do it. In fact, I’m actually in tears now, hoping some of you will understand how precious this dance form is to me.  It’s a beautiful movement that has helped me create a life of playfulness, confidence, and sensuality.  It’s a major reason why I’m not afraid of my body or my sexuality anymore.

Pole & Exotic Dance has opened me up to the inherent sensual nature of life and my path within that life as a woman (instead of the androgynous person trying to be “better than a man” that I used to be).  I don’t want to steal the athletic Pole Trickster’s right to share her awesome gymnastic ability with the world, but I don’t want someone to take away my ART of Pole & Exotic Dance either.

So, I urge you to consider how pole dancing will change, before you sign a “Pole Dancing in the Olympics” petition. Is this really the best way to share this art form with the world around you, when there are so many other ways.  I believe it’s as simple as turning to the woman sitting next to you and telling her your amazing story.  I know I’d love to hear it.

Do You disagree?  Please share your (respectful and honest) opinions in the comment section.

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

I was lamenting on the state of the pole dancing industry when someone asked me why I focus so strongly on being a pole DANCER instead of a pole TRICKSTER (someone who focuses on athletic pole tricks without transitions).

Although I recognize how wonderful pole fitness can be when a woman develops her gymnastic ability and strength, I am not in that camp.  I do not and will not ever just teach a pole trick.  I believe it is the transitions between the tricks that connect a woman with her sensual nature, not just the trick itself. If I cannot evoke an emotional response throughout my dance, then I’m not interested in dancing; and serial pole tricks do not evoke emotion in me.

Whenever I see a pole Trickster, I find my mind wandering.  Yes, the flawless execution is impressive.  Yes, the difficulty is obvious.  But it’s still the same tricks, over and over and over again.  Instead of noticing the way she accentuates the curve of her hip or the luscious shadow of the hair falling down her back, I consider her gymnastic execution; her fitness & stretching routine, her training regimen.  Of course she is beautiful, impressive even, but I want to see the movement of life breathing through her, the spark of humanity, the hypnotic fire of creativity that burns through a dancer. I know it’s there, but I just can’t see it.

I certainly agree that being a pole Trickster is a great way to get in shape.  It’s a phenomenal and powerful activity that many awesome and wonderful woman do with their bodies.  But it’s not what I want.  And to answer the question of why, I wrote this response to a friend of mine.  It’s rather raw, and starts off with a doozy, but if you wanted butterflies and lily pads, you probably wouldn’t be reading my blog anyway.

Fuck pole dancing, but not in the way you think.

The pole is a prop, a gimmick.  It’s the feeling of pure sensuality that I am after.  The afterglow of the dance is like the afterglow of sex.  I want to feel beautiful, luscious, delicious.  Circles of erotic bliss.  I want the space to be vulnerable again.

I tire of being hard. Hard at work, hard at home, hard in traffic. I am not a man and have no wish to be.  I am the force that bends instead of breaks; the life that flows instead of shatters.  My heart is transparent because my tears fill it’s soul.

Being at work fights my nature. No, I fight my nature when I’m at work.  My lover requests for my return to dance.  He wishes to see what only a woman in raw movement can show him.  But this vision, this truth is available only when a woman remembers herself.  She experiences life with flaws, weaknesses, strength, mistakes, emotions, and creation.

Reality is not about perfection; this is man’s lie, one he tells himself.  The sun, moon, and stars have NEVER given us perfection, only natural cosmic coincidence.  All things work in harmony because of their inherent chaos.

You want proof?  –  I am proof.

I am a living contradiction, strength and weakness personified in one body.  A living mass of confusion that somehow remains in balance and lives — breathes even.  Whereas a rock, a flawless diamond with the most intricate and perfect structure, highly prized for this logical and regular pattern of atoms, lacks a soul.

The one requirement of life is that it is NEVER perfect, never done.  No matter how many times it has tried, life must continue the struggle or give up.

Enjoy your struggle, your dance of sensuality, and recognize the amount of passion you nurture to be truly ALIVE each and every day.

Do You disagree? Share your ideas in the comment section.

If you enjoyed the article, please subscribe to ExpressTheSensual and share it with your friends.

Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

Our lives are filled with perpetual, consuming worries for everything except for what is happening RIGHT NOW.

Take a moment and ask yourself if you really have any problems in this EXACT second.  Not earlier this morning, or two minutes from now, or tomorrow.

But RIGHT NOW.

What are you thinking about RIGHT NOW…

Do you feel the need to worry about something that’s happening later?

But is it really a problem RIGHT NOW?

Do you feel the need to worry about something that happened yesterday?

But is it really a problem RIGHT NOW?

If you are breathing with sufficiently warm clothes on and a roof over your head, then you’re probably doing pretty okay at the moment.  I’m not saying your concerns are baseless or unimportant.  I’m saying that spending your time worrying about them is wasting valuable energy that you could use for loving your family, working on your dreams & goals, or just having some serious playtime (on the pole of course).

What if you practiced living and dancing in this moment, EXACTLY AS YOU ARE?  Without any worries of the past or of the future.  What if you gave yourself the chance to let go of your problems for 5 minutes and just be.

Be your breath.  Be your movement.  Be alive.

You don’t have to prepare for who you are, you can simply be who you are.

Sometimes you need to live as a human being instead of a human doing.

Let go of the past.

Let go of the future.

The more you ask yourself… “What is important to me in this moment?”

…the more calm you will find…
..the more gratitude you will feel…
..the more abundance and joy will permeate your life…

So tonight, don’t get dressed up to dance.  Don’t plan your play list beforehand.  Don’t even decide exactly when you’ll begin your practice.  Walk to your pole when the moment is right (and you’ll know it’s right when you feel that odd pressure in your head that says Gosh, I wish I was pole dancing now), put on the song the seems to pop into your consciousness or under your fingers in your ipod, and dance.

Dance as you were, Dance as you are, Dance as you wish to be.

Knowing that this moment is the most precious one in your life RIGHT NOW.

Because this moment is all you ever have.

How do you find acceptance in the present moment? What other techniques do you use to create flow? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Twirl, Swirl, and Fly!

I’ve been thinking a lot about The Rules lately.  You know, The Rules that “help” you decide what’s right and wrong.  The Rules that “explain” how you have to do this, or buy that, to ever have a chance to be beautiful, sexy, healthy, successful, or just plain average.  The Rules that say you’ve got to listen to all the “experts,” go to college, and become a mindless drone in some big huge corporation that thinks your name is j88456.

God forbid you want to have a good time in your 20’s.  And forget fun in your 30’s or 40’s because your fucking 401k isn’t big enough yet.  So just settle down, put your nose to the grindstone and look forward to retirement.  Um, yeah.  FUCK THAT!

Am I a hypocrite for telling you NOT to do EXACTLY what I did (except I’m not in my 40’s)?

Nope. Because I’ve decided that I’m not going to lay down and die (metaphorically speaking).

I’ve decided that I’M NOT DONE YET.

I’m not going to give up on my dreams even if they are just the insane delusions of a physicist slash poledancer slash writer who got stuck in a lab without windows for too long and refuses to drink the public KoolAide.

I left my last job because, when I stepped into the office everyday, I saw the walking dead.  Literally, zombies and brain eaters everywhere.  And I was well on my way to Zombie stardom…with overwork, daily headaches, wacky dizzyness, and general sadness whenever I typed my name (ex: j88456) into my login prompt.  I didn’t want to be a victim or a Zombie leader.   So I went a little nuts in an over strained economy and just quit.

I quit to save my life.

I quit to save my health.  I quit because I was too dehydrated to cry anymore. And it worked… sortof.

I mean I got back my life, I got back my health, and my face stopped looking like a pinkish prune with brown eyed spots.  But once I was alive again, I didn’t know what the hell to do with myself.  I’d spent over 30 years building up an identity as the Kick Ass Physicist with accompanying bachelors degrees, master’s degree, ridiculously long resume, hot red Audi, and sexy business suits.   I’d been playing my role to a T and had everybody fooled.  But I realized that every time I got close to finishing the picture of me as the “Kick Ass Physicist,” I’d fuck it up. And when I finally quit the “perfect” job I asked myself… “what the hell is wrong with me?”

Woman are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness. ~Marie de Vichy

I was afraid of breaking The Rules.

I was afraid of doing all the things that society told me weren’t safe for a woman like me.  Seriously, ask yourself if you’d be willing to quit your job, with no security net, no new job to go to, and no outside financial support.

I was totally crazy, right?  Maybe.

Maybe I still am.

Because while I stood outside of the daily 9 to 5 grind I discovered that I had all these hidden passions.  I had dreams and opinions and I cared about doing shit that I had buried in a hole inside my mind when I was 12 years old.

And now, I’m still afraid.  I’m afraid that I will wimp out without doing all the amazing things I’ve got floating around in my head.  I’m afraid I’ll give in to the comforts of a recently acquired steady paycheck instead of creating and sharing my ideas about sensuality, authenticity, purpose and passion with everyone who will listen.  I’m afraid to die with my music still in me.

But my fear is giving me the ability to fight.

It’s making me stronger and more resourceful than I’d ever imagined I could be.  Because I’m the one who has to make things happen– meaning that without me, my dreams won’t come true. I’m the one that has to put in the work, write that story, create that video, teach that class, learn about running an online business & a million other things I didn’t even know existed…and still stay true to my heart, my passions, my purpose.

So today, I’d like to kindly thank The Rules for getting me here…

And then tell them to FUCK OFF or Suck my big sparkly red (nonexistent) Balls!

Because The Rules aren’t needed anymore.  I don’t need limiting beliefs.  I don’t need social conventions.  I don’t need tribal knowledge. As of this moment, I am letting go of everything that doesn’t help me on the path to my dreams.  I don’t care how many obstacles are in my way as long as I learn from them.

And I reserve the right to change my dreams whenever the hell I feel like it as long as I’m still working with passion toward goals that mean something to me. Because I’m pretty sure I don’t know everything there is to know right now but I aspire to be as flexible in my mind as Gumby is bendy.

So if you’ve got any problems with pole dancing, exotic dancing, erotic writing, swearing like a trucker, sex and sensual living, then this blog probably isn’t for you.  On the other hand, if you like all that stuff and you enjoy the occasional rant from a writer turned physicist turned pole dancer turned writer again then I’m so very glad you are here.  I’ve got a bunch of wonderful ideas and I need your help.

Please tell me what you’d like to read about on ExpressTheSensual.  Tell me your stories (in private or in public).  Or just send me a reminder on twitter that I made you a promise.

I promise that I will transform my weaknesses and fears into some seriously awesome fun stuff specifically for your enjoyment…

…Like ebooks about living sensually…

…more pole/exotic dance video classes…

…and naughty erotic short stories for cold nights by the fire…

As well as sharing QandAs, HowTos, and any other sexy goodness I learn/find along the way.

I’ve got a lot of work to do, so it’s guess it’s time for me to get my big ass busy. XOXOX

What are your dreams & goals? How have you committed to your passionate path? I love hearing from you so please add your comment below!

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I started my day off by sharing this on Facebook:

I’m going to quietly grmble in my cubicle this morning. :S (I couldn’t even manage to spell “grumble”)

…and ended it by celebrating an evening filled with stable inverted pressaways.  YIPEE!

When I sat down at my desk at 8am today, I was pissed off, frustrated, depressed, and absolutely, completely, totally stuck.  I felt trapped by my own life and so very tired of struggling to understand why, why, why I couldn’t stop cockblocking my own success (yes, I know I don’t have a cock and I wasn’t trying to get laid, but just go with me here).  I was disappointed that I wasn’t meeting my daily writing quota (I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year), that I hadn’t posted anything to this blog or my other blog in 5 or 6 days, and that I kept falling asleep in my cubicle (at 8am in the morning!) because I was so fucking exhausted.

So what the hell do you do when when you keep hitting the same wall of frustration over and over again?  What do you do when you’re seriously stuck in a funk and can’t shake loose?

First, stop trying to use logic to get out of it. If logic was going to work, you’d have found the answer days, weeks, or months ago…

You need an inspiration!

Luckily, you already have a phenomenal technique to create an AHA moment…

All you need is to get your conscious mind to go to sleep and give your creative muse a safe place to explore. Meaning you’ve got to shed some of those layers of assumptions, baggage, and bullshit that you gathered as a grownup…Give your inner child a game to play.. And show her an awesome playground preferably with a jungle gym.   Psst THIS IS WHERE POLE DANCING COMES INTO THE PICTURE.

Your Body In Motion…

Drive home from work, stumble in the front door, banish everyone from the pole room for at least 20 minutes, throw on the playlist that exemplifies your emotional funk, and peel away your inhibitions.

Pick music that makes you feel grumpy, or sad, or predatory… but only if you actually feel that way.  Don’t change out of your work clothes. STRIP out of your work clothes.  Let each layer of your emotional wall disappear as each song disappears.

Ride the wave of your own anger, your own sadness, your own angst until you can’t tell the difference between the beat of the drum and the beat of your heart. (see that upside down lady on the right with the goofy happy smile… THAT’S ME!)

Once you feel your energy start to wane, allow you body to slow down.  Let the new wave of exhaustion set in as your dance moves away from the pole and onto the floor.  Until finally there is only your breath.

Your Body At Rest…

Inhale that next breath, get out your journal (or a piece of paper) and write the answer to these four questions. They are designed to pull the answers to any difficult problem out of your own unconscious mind.  (PS – I’ve included my own answers but not the secret decoder ring, so if anything seems cryptic that’s because my muse likes to speak in alien languages)

Q1:  What do I need right now?

My Answer: Sleep glorious sleep and to stop pushing myself.  To stop second guessing and ignoring my own desires, wants, and opinions.  Because all I’m doing is wasting energy by “should”ing all over myself (shoulding is  when you tell yourself that you “should, must, have to” do something instead of allowing yourself to consciously choose). I work for 9hrs and come home full of resistance. I don’t feel like working on any of my real passions until I can drain that resistance away.

Q2.  What are the things in my life that feel right, that feel easy, that feel like me?

My Answer: my five wishes, my writing career, spending time with J, writing fiction, writing sensually, writing erotica, connecting to my passions through ExpressTheSensual, pole dancing, reading, working with JBT, hanging out with the important people that I care about, feeling love, feeling truth, feeling and expressing my freedom to choose my life and my reality with each breath, to know and experience this moment exactly as it is…

Q3.  What are the things in my life that feel wrong, that feel hard, that don’t feel like me?

My Answer: driving to work, engineering, aerospace, my day job, being a tech writer, worrying about NOT writing, listening to the people that tell me I need to do this – buy that – believe in their miracle product or end up being a dumb ignorant jackass, feeling like a coward, feeling like I have to do EVERYTHING right now, guilt for doing it wrong, guilt for not doing it before, guilt, guilt, guilt.

Q4. What do I forget to tell myself?

My Answer: That even if I feel like I should do everything, I really don’t need to do everything. That I can just let go of all the shit that I don’t want and spend my precious time, energy, and joy building my reality around all the awesome shit that I do want. To focus on my passion and my purpose.  To know that I have a choice and that I have the ability to choose differently as each moment arrives.  Then, my path will stop feeling sticky and I’ll stop feeling trapped.  (At this point angels descended, birds sang, and an intense desire to dance again hit me)

It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.” –Picasso

AHA!

Try this and you’ll discover what I did.  Your REAL PRIORITIES will suddenly be laid out in front of you in such vivid detail that you can’t ignore them anymore. Accept what is critical to you and then make that the most important part of your day.

Don’t just write down the essentials of your answer. Don’t just pay them lip service. Make choices that reflect YOUR priorities. Define your goals and believe in them.

A good friend once told me “Don’t die with your music still in you!”  Break down your walls by listening to your passions. Discover your bare essentials, and share your rapture with the world.

PS…these questions were inspired by a post by Havi Brooks, who you should be reading if you love kooky, fun, and awesome all rolled into one lady…and her duck Selma. Share your ideas in the comment section!

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This week was hard.  This week was bad.  This week I had to face people in pain.  People that I usually share In’n'Out fries with while shouting obscenities at the 49ers.  People that I’ve been more than a little drunk-off-my-ass-and-still-got-home-safe with.  People that have made a significant impact in my life.  And now, they hurt. Their families hurt.  Their reality hurts.  Their world hurts.

And I don’t know what to do.  You see, I’m horrible at watching pain. Forget Hollywood movies and all that namby-pamby bullshit.  It’s the real deal I’m talking about here.  The kind of pain where they might have to crack open your chest to save you life.  Or do test after test just to find out if they can treat whatever unpronounceable thing that you’ve got.  And it’s really hard to watch without crying.

So, I’m lost. Wondering what can I do?  How can I help?  I’m not a doctor, or a nurse. Shit, I still check the directions when I put on a bandaid.

Instead, I did what they have done for me.  I stayed. I didn’t leave.  I showed up and watched what happened.  I didn’t pretend it wasn’t happening.  I didn’t pretend I completely understood their pain.  I didn’t pretend I knew everything was going to be okay.  Because I don’t know.

I chose to be there with them as life unfolded. As the next moment passed and the next and the next.  When they needed to talk, we talked.   When they needed silence, we had silence.   When they needed to cry, we cried.

And when they needed to be alone, I left.  But I went home to my safe house, with my safe dog, in my safe car, to watch my safe television.  And it wasn’t the same.   So, I turned to my pole dancing practice the way people turn to meditation or that first cup of tea. A ritual to calm my mind with the long accustomed movements that I’ve done a million times before.  The dance where I give my emotions extra space, extra time, extra energy.

It helped.  It gave my body a way to understand the turmoil in my mind.  My arms and legs articulated sadness with each extension.  My chest knew waves of confusion through abdominal contraction.  And finally I cried for me.

The best way for me to help them, is to live, breathe, and be who I am… with them.  To laugh with them, cry with them, watch funny zombie movies with them.  To know each moment is as precious as it is fleeting.

If you have experienced sadness in your life, whether the pain was yours or someone you care about– Give it a ritual.  Create a safe space inside yourself without judgment and find a way to let go. Use sensual dance, or a walk along the ocean, or a gentle rocking chair on the outside porch.  Show up to life, give in to life, and let go.

This week there is a video, but I choose not to post it.  This week, the space below is for you.

How do you create personal space? What kind of rituals give you comfort? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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I constantly questioned why I was always alone. And usually ended up blaming some random body part.  ‘Oh my butt is too big’ (it’s not). Oh my hips are too wide’ (they aren’t). ‘Oh my toes are too stubbly.’ (I was pretty upset by the time I got to my toes

What I didn’t recognize was that somewhere along the way, I had started taking dating advice from Red Sonja.

In case you didn’t grow up in the early 1980’s, Red Sonja is this KickAss swordswoman who has to save the world from an evil Queen and her all-powerful talisman.  And, to make matters worse, she’s got horrible script dialog and Arnold Schwarzenegger as a sidekick. (they call him Kalidor in the movie, but Arnold really only knows how to play the part of Arnold) So, to ensure that she doesn’t give away her cookie to any old Warrior King, Red Sonja vows that she’ll never give herself to a man unless he can beat her in a fair fight.

I thought this made perfect sense.  If I followed this rule, then any guy I’m willing to date has got to be at least as strong, smart, funny, healthy, successful, etc as me.  If he passes the test and proves all that, then I can be sure he’s worth a little lap bump and booty grind.  Right?

WRONG!

Testing men and treating then like an opponent was ruining both Sonja’s and my love life.  And totally screwing up my chances of ever practicing my blossoming exotic dance skills on a real live man.  I was beheading every potential lapdance partner before he even got a chance to sit down. (pun intended for all you adults out there)

Here’s Sonja and my problem stated, oh so eloquently, by the big brute with the bulging biceps after he learns of Sonja’s vow;

“So, the only man that can have you, is one who is trying to kill you. Hmm, that’s logic.” – Kalidor the Warrior King

Yes, ladies.  That’s sarcasm from the Governor of California.  Surprise!

If we assume an aggressive stance to dating, relationships, and lapdancing, then the only men we’ll having in our chairs will be overbearing, controlling assholes. (And personally, I prefer to avoid the jerks and power hounds whenever possible) Plus, if a nice man manages to slip under the barbed wire we put around our hearts and sits into a chair hoping for a little lovin’… our defenses will automatically kick in.  He’ll probably end up feeling like has to constantly battle for our affection. (I actually had a guy call me a Vengeful Vagina once.  That did NOT go over well.)

But rejoice warrior women! Red Sonja’s co-stars have the solution!  And this is the truth ladies, because once I figured this out, I went from no dates EVER, to meeting 3 or 4 men with lapdancing potential every week. Good men. Men that I really enjoyed talking and hanging out with.  I didn’t date them all, but I made a lot of friends and my phone was buzzing like a hornet’s nest for months.

Red Sonja’s Swordmaster warns: “Hatred of men in a lovely young woman… Such could be your downfall. You must learn to like men a little better” And Prince Tarn questions Red Sonja’s motives: “Why does she fight so hard? She doesn’t want to win.”

(I told you the script dialog was *awesome* right?)

Remember, it’s a waste of time and energy to beat men at their own game.  Screw their games.  I don’t want to play ‘who has the bigger penis’ anyway. Men aren’t the enemy! Life doesn’t have to be a Battle of the Sexes.

Once you move men out of the “opponent” category they will transform into a cherished companion. (It’s magically delicious!) It’s so much easier to smile at a man when you don’t require a battle plan first. (as long as they aren’t drooling assholes) Welcome the opportunity to be with someone who wants to share and grow with you… sensually, authentically, and joyfully. You might find that they surprise you by being caring, loving, individuals that want the same adventures in life that you do.  Including an awesome lapdance!

So, once you have him, what do you do with him?…. Read part 2 of ‘How to Give a Lapdance without Beheading Your Partner’

PS – Red Sonja is being remade with Rose McGowan (Warrior Woman Kick ASS!)

How did you meet your favorite Lapdance partner? Or are you currently holding auditions for the role of LAP? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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For some reason, I couldn’t figure out how to stop focusing on all my ToDo’s, relax and just be myself.

So during my pole improvisation session I decided to accept all of my “doing” layers and wear them like a badge of honor….

I kept my hair up in a tight bun to represent my working diva self. I kept on the blue tank top that covered my hungry belly while I shopped for groceries. I put on the standard bikini top and leg warmers that I use when I teach a pole session.

And then I waited for the music to lead me…

We Run LA She Wolf Good Girls Go Bad

First I let my mind and body move within all the layers. The dancing felt controlled, contained, and even a little shy.  Then, with each new song, I washed away a layer of ToDo grime. I let my hair down and played with the wild feeling of it whipping around my face.  I stripped off the tank top, transforming it from just a shirt into a sexy skirt, and then simply throwing it away.  I even seductively removed the legwarmers and bikini top (although that is NOT included in the video).

I made space for me by deliberately separating myself from everything that I do. I had to dance for 25 minutes before I remembered

What You Do is Not Who You Are

When you remove varnish layer by layer, you reveal that natural, organic wood beneath.  The imperfect but truly beautiful grain.  So often we forget to strip away all of the layers and just be ourselves. You may live the life of a business executive, of a mother, of a loving wife, of a caring sister….. But there is a deeper core of authenticity waiting below the surface.  And sometimes, when the layers get too heavy to bear, its time to let them slide off you body, and just allow yourself to be.

ps, if you’re having problems hearing the audio, check out the video on my site.

How do you find your authentic self? Have you ever used pole dancing to release your ToDo list worries before? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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1.  Don’t be afraid to act like a bad girl

Bette Davis was know for her “willingness to play unsympathetic roles.” Some of her most acclaimed characters were an adulterous murderer, a Jezebel, and a prostitute.

Give yourself the time and space to play with the darker parts of your personality. Everybody has them.  Don’t bottle your emotions when you feel angry, powerful, or hungry for something naughty. Accept them. Welcome them. You can still feel your authentic nature without responding or acting in a negative manner. Instead cultivate your Femme Fatale, your Huntress, your Evil Queen.  There’s nothing wrong with playing in the dirt as long as you define the safety rules first and remember to take a shower when you are done.

When I feel like a Woman on the prowl I listen to If by Janet Jackson, Fully Alive by Flyleaf, and Cry Little Sister by G Tom Mac.

2.  Find your own sex appeal

Bette Davis was known for her lusciously riveting eyes and fought to ensure the lighting of every film emphasized her most well known feature.  However, she often remarked that she had built her career, not with her beauty, but by being tough and passionate about personal excellence. Jack Warner (of Warner Brothers) said she had that “magic quality that transformed this sometimes bland and not beautiful little girl into a great artist.”

You are sexy. I absolutely know this already, without ever laying my eyes on you.  However, I don’t know WHAT is sexy about you.

For years, I struggled with my own sensuality.  I felt ugly and very un-charismatic.  I became so depressed with my body image that I gained 70lbs to ensure that no man would ever touch me again (meaning I went from a size 12 to size 18).  But one day, I decided that I liked my ass. Even if I was overweight, I still had sexy curvy hips and a lovely bum.  Day after day, I built on that positive feeling.  I found jeans that showed off my ass.  I wore shirts that hugged my hourglass waist.   I pole danced to music that made me want to swing and sway my hips.

Over time, I recognized more features that made me feel sexy.  My long hair, my earthy brown eyes, my strong shoulders.  With each discovery, I felt better about myself and created more ways to enjoy my body exactly as it is–Like using the Hurricane Hips to strengthen my abs and show off my bootay!  The most amazing side effect is that, by loving my ass, I’ve learned how to take care of my body, lost the weight, and gained more strength and flexibility than I ever had before.  Find Your Bette.  Find something to love about yourself and let your sex appeal grow from there. If I can do this, you can do this!

3.  Accept tribute and compliments with grace and style

When Kim Carne’s wrote “Betty Davis’ Eyes” Bette Davis wrote thank you notes to Kim Carne and the songwriters. She even hung the gold and platinum records, a gift from Kim, on her wall.

Do you respond to compliments by telling the person that they are crazy or blind?  Or perhaps you assume that they are only complimenting you because they want something from you.  Please, please, please don’t do this anymore.  Give yourself permission to accept compliments without judgment. Recognize that, although you may not agree (perhaps because you need to read Rule #4 again), the person complimenting you is giving you a gift–that they are grateful to know you, to share time with you, to enjoy your company.  And the best way to respond to such a gift is to continue sharing your amazing, beautiful, authentic self.

The next time you dance for an audience, accept their praise as the gift of gratitude, smile, and say “Thank You” like the sexy Minx you are!

4. Be true to yourself and not to your critics

In “Of Human Bondage”, Bette Davis fought for an authentic death scene no matter how unglamorous.  She said, “the last stages of consumption, poverty and neglect are not pretty and I intended to be convincing-looking.”

If there is only ONE thing you get from this article, get this: Being your Authentic Self in every moment is the most powerful way to effect the world and enjoy your life. Don’t dampen your personality and pretend to be someone else.  Don’t put on a mask to please your coworkers, family, or friends.  Let go of anyone who doesn’t encourage you to be exactly who you are.

Real life usually isn’t glamorous, but it is always powerful. You can tell the difference between passionate action and apathy.  Let your authentic power shine through your face, your body, and your movements.  Let you emotions explode out while you dance.  If you need to pound on the floor in agony, do it.  If you need to smile in the blissful throws of a spinning flight around the pole, then grin like a mother fucking idiot.  The world can tell the Truth from a plastic imitation.  So, don’t fake an orgasm, don’t dance what you don’t feel, and don’t apologize for who you are.

5.  Live life beyond the routine

Bette Davis worked in every genre in Hollywood, television, and Broadway including contemporary crime dramas, historical, period films, comedies, & romantic dramas.  She said that throughout her career she had followed Charles Loughton advice…

“Never not dare to hang yourself. That’s the only way you grow in your profession. You must continually attempt things that you think are beyond you, or you get into a complete rut.”

Challenge yourself and your limits. If you always dance in t-shirts, put on a bikini top instead.  If you always dance to country music, throw on Beautiful by Eminem.  If you usually dance in the dark, turn on all the lights and dance at high noon. Question your own inhibitions.  Don’t let the need for security, the status quo, and fear of change, suffocate your personal style.

If you need help breaking through the box & developing your dance style, try one of my Improvisational Dance Challenges.  If you need help busting your own limiting beliefs in life then check out The Sedona Method or the ReCreate Your Life program.  These two simple methods have helped me break through my own emotional barriers to find the passion to follow my dreams. (I’m not kidding)

6.  Wanting your dreams isn’t enough–Make them happen.

For her first 4 years in Hollywood, Bette Davis was said to have “lovely eyes” but about “as much sex appeal as Slim Southerland,” (an unattractive male actor of the 40s). But in 1934, after over 20 (unnoticed) film roles, she played the vicious Mildred Rogers in “Of Human Bondage”, which was described as “probably the best performance ever recorded on the screen by a U.S. actress.”

She continued her illustrious, yet sometimes rocky career until 1983, when she developed breast cancer.  But in 1985, she overcame a mastectomy, four strokes, and paralysis in her left side to star in 4 more films and received the Kennedy Center Honor, the Legion of Honor from France, the Campione d’Italia from Italy and the Film Society of Lincoln Center Lifetime Achievement Award.  In fact, over her lifetime, she was nominated for an Oscar a stunning 10 times, a feat only 4 other actors have ever achieved.

Bette Davis said that she didn’t commit to her career as an actress until 1926 when she saw a production of Henrik Ibsen’s The Wild Duck with Blanche Yurka and Peg Entwistle…

Before that performance I wanted to be an actress,” Bette said, “ When it ended, I had to be an actress.”

I believe that everyone has a life purpose that only they can define.  But just because you know what you want, doesn’t mean that you have committed to it.  Commitment requires daily, monthly, and yearly action and usually a leap of faith or two.  It takes the understanding that you can’t just sit around and wait for your dreams to come true.  You have to take one step after another and make them come true. Mistakes are just the mileposts of learning, NOT an indication that you are on the wrong path.

If you want to learn how to invert, you are going to have to put in the time and effort to make your abs strong.  If you want to do the splits, you are going to have to stretch or do yoga every week.  If you want to be a writer, you are going to have to write & edit your work daily (this is a little reminder for me too   You might even need to call on a professional instructor who can help motivate you and teach you the tips, tricks, and techniques you need to get to the next level. Success requires that you translate your passionate dreams into committed action, RIGHT NOW.

“To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given a chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy. ” “My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose.“ “ — Bette Davis

What makes you feel like a beautiful Bette? How do you express that authentic beauty in your dance & in your life? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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There is nothing wrong with your butt.

No, I’m not kidding.  That really is the secret.  The problem is that so many of us know, intellectually, that there is nothing wrong with our butt, BUT (pun intended) emotionally, we have a major complex about our big ass bumping into tables (& men’s faces) or our super skinny flat ass that looks like a pancake.  I’m telling you right now, there is nothing wrong with your butt.

Let me explain this using a more scientific approach (I can do that because I’m a physicist) and take a look at this from both sides of the spectrum.

The Big Ass

Men around the world love it.  Yep.  They love it.  I’ve done extensive research on this particular fact and have realized that although the media portray men and woman speaking about ass like this…

Self-Conscious Lady: Do these jeans make my ass look fat?
Confused Man: Uh, you mean those jeans?
Sadly Insecure Lady: Yes, dumb ass.  The ones I’m wearing.
Trapped Man (hesitantly): You look just fine in those jeans.
Angry Lady: You mean my ass doesn’t look fine in my other jeans?!  Well you can forget about ‘getting some ass’ from me tonight!
Resigned Man (under his breath): Damn it, I wanted that ass.

The SHOCKING truth is that a lot of men wander around hoping and praying that a big butt will come their way and say hello. It’s not that they don’t want to talk to you at all, they just know they’ve hit the jackpot if you’ve got a personality and a big bootay.

For most of my life, I would look at my ass in the mirror and squeeze in the sides, hoping to make it get just a little bit smaller.  But finally, I started to hear what every boyfriend/lover/fiance I’d ever had was trying to tell me.  Our conversations about ass went more like this…

Self-Conscious Lady (accidentally seeing her ass in the mirror): Sigh.
Confused Man: What’s the matter?  And don’t say “nothing” because that’s the tenth time you’ve sighed tonight.
Sadly Insecure Lady: I just wish I’d worn something less revealing.  My butt looks too big in this outfit. I’m just uncomfortable.
Comforting Man: What?!  Your ass looks HOT in those jeans.  I can’t wait to take you home and get a piece of it.
Surprised & Sexy Lady: Really? I always thought my ass was too big.
Excited Man: I love your big ass.  And I think it’s about time I proved it.  Come here.
(The rest of the story has been deleted due to the R rated content

And as a cherry on top, there’s a new trend in Hollywood where some actresses are having ass implants.  Yes, they are having cosmetic surgery to INCREASE the size of their butt.  Mostly, this should tell you that all Hollywood trends are a big load of BS and deserve to be ignored. It doesn’t matter if the trend is skinny jeans OR big asses.  However, what is important is that the world is finally coming to their senses about big butts.  Don’t stay in the closet with yours.

As Sir Mix Alot put it so eloquently, ”Stick it out, even white boys got to shout, baby got back!”

“I like big butts and I cannot lie You other brothers can’t deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung”

But what about the flip side? (HA! that whole sentence was a pun.)

The Skinny Ass

Although I don’t have as much personal experience with having a skinny butt, I have many friends who do.  Every one of them has an ass worth looking at!  I’ve seen men stop, pull down their sunglasses, and stare at my skinny assed friends as they walk by.

My girls told me that their secret to having a super sexy skinny ass is The Sway.  They let their hips sway from side to side as they walk. This creates an amazingly hypnotic motion that is perfectly balanced by the subtle curves of a skinny butt.  And it’s almost impossible not to look at it.  Try it.

1.  Turn on some sensual tunes like “Do I Move You” by Nina Simone (shit, anything from Nina would work!).
2.  Stand 3 or 4 steps back in front of a mirror and slowly walk toward it.
3.  Let your lower hips swing and sway from side to side.
4.  When you get to the mirror, turn around slowly and look over your shoulder.
5.  Walk back to where you started

I dare you to NOT watch the Swaying movement of your skinny ass.  It’s absolutely mesmerizing!

But personally, I think that if you really don’t believe in the power of a skinny butt, then you need to get your ass to the beach.  Throw on your swimsuit and wander around the surf and sand.  At the beach, the skinny butts win the day.  They look GOOD riding on bicycles along the boardwalk.  They look GOOD bouncing and running along the crashing waves.  Skinny butts look REALLY GOOD in bikini bottoms whether they are side ties, tankinis, or just a regular low cut two piece suit.

Why else do you think men go to the beach? Okay, yes. They want to surf or play volleyball.  But when they are done playing, they hang around to watch your skinny ass walk by.   My advice is to throw on your side tie bikini, get an ice cream cone (men have a very serious oral fixation), and start wandering the beach. Sway with the rhythm of the crashing ocean waves and you’ll soon realize that both you AND your ass look sexy as hell!

And if after all that, you still aren’t convinced that, there is nothing wrong with your ass consider this…

And possibly this…
Dance, Dance, Drop Your Pants!

But Not This.

What kind of sexy butt do you have? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Don’t beat yourself up because you aren’t dealing with it right this second. Skirt the issue until you are ready to resolve it. And I don’t mean ignore it completely!

Tonight, wear a soft skirt and give yourself permission to dance around your problem (and your pole). Ignore the problem (and your pole) when you want to. Or shake it when you need to.  Climb it. Kick it. Twirl around and around it. Float toward it as if some force of gravity is pulling you and then exert your own luscious forces and float away.

Notice how your movements effect you body and your skirt.  The skirt changes shape, swirls and twirls around you hips, rides up and down your body and you flip and slide.  Feel how the problem effects you, changes you, gives you goosebumps as your movements cause the skirt to tickle your legs.

There’s no need to run from your problems. Instead, learn to play with your pole (*wink*) and your problem. Accept that it exists and that you don’t have all the answers but perhaps there is something wonderful that you will create by searching for them. While you skirt the issue, your mind can relax and develop new ideas, new solutions.

Find the joy in pole dancing through life, letting the trials and tribulations of your journey tickle your legs and swirl around you.  Maybe they will show you that enjoying the life (and sometimes even the problems) that you have is so much better than just giving up.

To see a world in a grain of sand And heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand And eternity in an hour –William Blake

How do deal with your un-faceable problems? Does pole dancing give you a sense of creative relief and release? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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Whatever difficulties you are having, it can feel as if the word “unlucky” is tattooed across your forehead.  Everyone knows you are having a stream of bad luck and there is nothing you can do about it….. RIGHT?

Wrong.  On unlucky days, pull your dragons out of the shadows and into the light. Show the world you aren’t afraid to make mistakes and  discover something new about yourself and your world.  Wear your accidents of fate, like a badge of honor that tells everyone you are finally LIVING instead of being afraid to share your true self. And then, laugh.

Laugh the whole day away. Bad shit is going to happen, so you might as well enjoy the experience, learn, and then laugh it off.  If the wind blows up your skirt, act like Marilyn Monroe the whole night. If your heels break, go barefoot and ask the strongest, sexiest men to carry you. If your laptop gets fried, move the meeting to a poolside resort and throw your laptop in the water to get their attention (check your warranty first though). If you laugh and learn from your dragons, they will gracefully bow at your feet.

Give in to your playful, sensual side and simply ride the day out. Laugh until your sides hurt. Then go home and pole dance until you end up laying on the floor unable to move a muscle. Get it out of your system today and by tomorrow you’ll realize that your “unlucky tattoo” was actually an auspicious dragon of good fortune.

I had to dance for 30 minutes before I defeated my dragons, but it was worth every sweaty second.  BTW, the two songs in this video are Milk by Garbage and Angel of Mine by Newtown Saints.

“Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight”

How do you purge your bad luck? Have you ever had a crappy day that turned into an amazing day? Share your ideas in the comment section!

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