How to Give a Lapdance without Beheading Your Partner PT2
photo by VDFmotion
Lapdancing, it’s the mysterious private show that happens [booming announcer voice] BEHIND THE WALL in the VIP strip club. It’s also one of my absolute favorite types of exotic dance.
I’m going to share my secret weapons with you that can help you give a tantalizing, mesmerizing, sensual lapdance. But first, I want to demystify a few things. Because giving a great lapdance isn’t as much about a following a set of rules as it is about making the choices that turn you and your partner on.
Lapdancing does not require a special chair
Lazyboy or a recliner; arms or no arms; chair, couch, or bed. It really doesn’t matter what kind of seating arrangement you choose as long as it’s sturdy enough to hold the weight of two people. The key point here is that lapdancing requires a LAP and that’s all. (Just check the name if you are fuzzy on this one)
Lapdancing does not require special clothes
You choose how much skin to bare. You choose when to bare it (or not to bare it at all.) You choose something that makes YOU feel both comfortable and sexy (I said both and I meant both) Do NOT wear a sexy mini-dress and sparkly black knee-high boots unless YOU love them. (and I do)
Lapdancing does not require your corporate weapons, electronic gadgets, or medieval swords & daggers.
Don’t put your BlackBerry on stun–Turn it OFF! (No it’s NOT a good makeshift vibrator) Leave everything in the kitchen that doesn’t accentuate your sensual nature. Because anything that might take away from you, is just an annoying distraction. YOU are the main event.
Choose a Damn HOT Song
Pick a song that makes your body move. Something that gives you chills and drops you into a luscious state of sensual expression. Use music that makes your mind and body tingle with excitement. And as long as your partner doesn’t find the song annoying, you can bet he’ll be tingling too.
I like it by Moby
Choke me, spank me, pull my hair by Xzbit ![]()
Choose a Playful OR KickAss Attitude
I say OR because this is your show. If you feel sweet and cute and giggly, then be the nice MaryAnn that makes your man ache to brush the hair from your face. If you feel strong and sexual and powerful, then be the naughty Ginger that brings all the boys to the yard. Just remember that your partner is a companion not your opponent. Your first lapdance is probably not the time to act out any tie-him-up, tie-him-down fantasies (not without his permission anyway).
Choose a LAP willing to play your game
Communicate everything you need to ensure this dance is fun for both of you. For example, if you don’t want to be touched, ask your partner to sit on his hands. If you want him to stay quiet, let him know that you’ll only respond to the words “mmm” and “oohhh” for the duration of the dance. Remember, you WANT to turn him on, so don’t be so strict that you cut off his passion (no beheadings, please!)
So, with all those choices, what’s the magic key to unlock his desires and make a man beg for buttermilk (uh, I mean ask for another lapdance)…
The secret is to Tease him to the edge with the Promise of Desire and (perhaps) the Passion of Fullfillment.
Build excitement with titillation. Provoke him with sensation and your determination to almost touch. Almost touch his lips, almost touch his neck, almost touch his inner thigh. This lapdance is about making your own choices, accepting your own power, and using it to build a deeper connection with your partner. It’s personal. It’s private. And it’s sexual.
It’s as easy as 1-2-3-4
1. Slide up to the LAP
Whether you walk or crawl, sinuously find your way to his lap. Take your time. Meander. There’s no rush when your focus is the tease. Once you get there, nudge (not shove) his legs open by sliding your knee between his knees and then step into the gap.
2. Warm up to the LAP
Use slow, luxurious Hurricane Hips or your favorite pelvic circles to get both of you in the mood. Throw in some booty popping for good measure (using his legs to substitute for a chair back) and taunt him with a Just Missed Kiss.
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Just Missed Kiss – drop your eyes to his lips and act like you are going to kiss him. Get so close to his lips that he can feel your soft breath and then, just miss. Divert your lips to one side and slide your cheek along his face. (Oops, better luck next time. Teehee) |
3. Change the view
Turning around while maintaing your hypnotic movement can be a bit tricky, especially if you are wearing a sexy pair of 6 in heels. Ignore the temptation to throw one leg over his head. Knocking his block off will seriously fuck up the mood (and you promised you wouldn’t behead him, remember) Instead try an Ocho or a Model Turn.
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Ocho – cross your right foot over you left and slowly pivot on the balls of your feet. Let your right hip draw a semicircle until your tushy is directly in front of his face. (location, location, location!) Model Turn - shifting your weight from right foot to left foot while rotating your body 1/4 turn until you are facing away from him. To keep him mesmerized, continue rolling and circling your hips as you turn. (aahh, Houdini would be proud and asking for an encore) |
4. Melt into the LAP
Being careful of his dangly bits, sit (yep, sit) directly onto his thighs. Please, PLEASE, DONT HOVER. (your partner isn’t a public toilet) Lean back into him, giving him both the sensation of warmth from your body and the view of your lovely curves. Now it’s time for the Shiver Giver.
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At this point, you’re on your own. I’m sure it’ll all end with a bang. (oh my gosh, did I just say that? — Yes, yes I did)
| Have you ever given a lapdance, why or why not? What’s your favorite lapdancing outfit? Share your ideas in the comment section! |
Did you read pt 1 of this series?… Find your perfect LAP here!
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October 18th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Love it! So awesome to actually read instructions lol Yep, it’s an art, takes practice and you need to know your body and have self esteem to open up to such intimate moment. G string, topless, barefoot…that’s how I like it
))Enjoyed it but still there is so much more to explore….I am eager to practice! This article inspired me to to practice
) on real men, not my girlfriends lol
October 18th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
@Martina – Thank you! I’ve got lots more advice coming on props and clothes so stay tuned. And send me your questions so I can make sure they get answered. Yipee for real men
October 18th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
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October 19th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Help! Cannot get it out of my head lol Mental practice will turn into actions I believe, that’s what they say…wild weekend ahead
))
October 19th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by LiraVaughan: [just posted] How to Give a Lapdance w/o Beheading Your Partner PT2 http://bit.ly/2uTPz3 Learn to use the Shiver Giver!…
October 19th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
@Martina – aah the awesome power of visualization. You go girl!
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:02 pm
You know what’s funny? I have found the hardest part of this is finding a willing partner! what is wrong with men???
October 23rd, 2009 at 10:31 am
@Fleur – Yes, I’ve found that some men are either afraid to watch or unwilling to make the time. But… if you make the experience more about pleasing both of you (meaning plenty of audience participation) then he may have a change of heart.
PS. I wrote about this a bit in part 1. Check it out